‘Golmaal!’ “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Wonder why the heart has started saying this.” “Now you have started staying in my heart.” “You have settled in my veins.” “Heart has started enduring your troubles.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Wonder why the heart has started saying this.” “Now you have started staying in my heart.” “You have settled in my veins.” “Heart has started enduring your troubles.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “I come into your arms forgetting the whole world.” “Now you take me under your support by embracing me.” “If you say you want me well then I say you got me.” “This has happened to me in your love.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “All around there is exponential renaissance.” “Take the rhythm and break it down.” “Feel the subways in the ground.” “Go ghoom… ghoom… ghoom.” “All the girls are going to shake their boom.” “Come on! ” – “Ghoom… ghoom… ghoom.” “All the boys are also to shake their boom.” “When the winds start tamping all the bodies start clapping.” “And the girls are going to jump! ” – “Ghoom.” “I stay in your dreams, making my own world.” “Fill the air with colors by decorating my dreams.” “I stay in your dreams, making my own world.” “Fill the air with colors by decorating my dreams.” “I want somebody I want you right before me.” “Will you be mine; this is what my heart questions.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Everything is going to be Golmaal.” Excuse me. – Yes. – Is this the queue for first year’s admission? “Yes uncle, have you come for your daughter’s admission?” See only answer what you have been asked for! Yes or no? -Yes. – Thank you Boy goons. Bad element of the society
Hey smarty What… what is this? “Smarty, put 100 rupees in the box.” Is this a way to ask for alms? Alms are asked for by joining hands You guys are bossing around! “Hey smarty, we are not asking for alms this is charity.” The bastard dean of our college Dean is a bastard? – Bastard Harichandra Ramchandra Mirchandani He has got cancer at a special place Which place? – That is not important. He has cancer We are collecting 100 rupees from everybody for him Come on put Actually this is bossing but – Put! Come on “What are you doing, mister? This is wrong.” Hey did he take it from your pocket? “Come on, uncle, even you put. Come on.” Hey! – See you don’t argue with them They are very dangerous people. Yes! I won’t give. I have worked very hard worked in the field and earned this money For my sister’s education why should I give? Come we will take him on a side and teach him a lesson Come… you! – Hey don’t hit uncle What are you all doing! – Come on See… see it is my hard earned money I will not give – Hey you will keep “…your money with yourself only, rascal?” “It will get wet, I will remove your blood instead of your sweat.” Remove the money “Builder sir, take this I will give his share for him. It’s 200 rupees” Put… put it in the box… put it in the box Yes… yes I am putting it in the box. I am putting it “Hurry up, come on – No don’t hit him.” Come on everybody put one by one… one by one “No hurry, at ease Hey you put 300 rupees.” You 400 4000. 100… 200 300… 400… 500 600… 700… 800… 900 1000 rupees. – What 5000! – You guys do great acting! Really! – It’s amazing – Give the money here Hey let me at least count – Thank you. – Rascal! What happened? – You call me uncle! You call me uncle I will make you an aunty! “No… no I didn’t do it I didn’t do it, it was him.” Hey why are you laughing? Your tongue doesn’t work but your hands work a lot! Not me he had said What did I say when did I say? I did what was planned I… I didn’t say anything Hey unnecessary you say anything! Hey… remove my shirt “Hey buddy, give me money for liquor.” “Are you all not ashamed, you all make…” me do such things in the same college where I study! Sometimes you make me steal things from the chemistry lab Sometimes you steal the fans of the assembly hall That day you made me a professor and told me to take that girl’s number Later that girl turned out to be that college’s professor “Till date, I haven’t sat in her class.” Don’t laugh. And that day you all made me a beggar and made me sit outside the college gate Said that we don’t have money for liquor Because of you all I have became notorious in the whole college. I said don’t laugh You are our darling – All this works in friendship Now if we had been in your place then even we “…would have done the same thing, right? – Yes.” To hell you all would do that same thing And what difference does it make to you “You don’t even have a place to stay, you use my room.” The thing is that I am a brilliant student for dean of the college Harichandra Ramchandra Mirchandani So he respects me Or else I don’t know about you all whether you all ever went to college or not Did you go to college? – I don’t remember Hey… hey wait – Why are you betraying us? Bitch. She is again asking for work We will have to take her to Vasuli “Hey don’t say that, A lot of loan is still pending.” I have cried like Tulsi and Parvati and asked this vehicle on loan. You are “You know who he is, right!” Let’s do one thing we will go and give all this money to vasuli “We will give the rest later, simple.” He is joking. – We saw money after so many days and he says that we should give it to Vasuli You don’t say anything If we give the money to Vasuli then what will we eat? “How will we drink, how will we gamble? – Yes.” If we have to gift a girl with something… then how will give? Should we stop living? Hey make four half cup of tea and a cookie for me. – Money? It’s of green color and it has Gandhi’s photo on it Come on make the tea Come on… come on give money… money Have we till date ever given you any? – No Then why are you asking? – I have stopped giving on loan Has your license been renewed? – No What is the number for Municipality? I am making… I am making it – Add ginger and cardamom Lolita Have some shame What is your age and you are looking at Lalita Pawar “Hey not down, look up!” Hey Lolita… baby… yes!
Hey don’t look at her with bad intentions she is your sis-in-law – When did she become that? You all wait I will make her one and come Even I have to make a bhabhi “Let them go, they are walking into a death well.” Look over there. Vasuli Rascals Hey didn’t you tell – What? That looks like Sanjay Dutt That same body that same face cut Vastav movie’s vermillion spot “Vasuli, I have spoken with Raju Irani…” he is going to launch you in his next movie But my that money “Oh no, I am talking about crores and you are collecting change!” What are you saying! – Sorry. – It looks very cheap You have the same personality It will be great if you learn a little on dialogue delivery “Dialogue? – Like hey Circuit, give me a magical embrace.” “Hey Circuit, even give me that magical embrace.” “Mind blowing…” “…, that… that walking style. Your body is perfect.” I will teach you that? – Show… show “Hey move aside…” “Here, be a hero and stand in style.” “No man, what are you doing!” “Not like this, there is a personality. A style.” Just like a hero – Again Look carefully – Ok Hey are you teaching me to walk or to run? “Hey, he is bluffing us, catch that rascal.” Hey! “Mother, forgive me. Deal for me too.” “Aunty, even forgive me. Here is mine.” “Mother, take him up! – Hey! – Sorry.” “Mother, forgive him too – Another one by me.” “Rascals, you all left me alone and came.” “You came, right? – Deal for me too. Who is winning? – Mine.” Vasuli has seen the room Vasuli has seen the room “Laxman, open the door! – I won’t open it.” Hey the door! – Hey man! Oh good afternoon sir – Good afternoon “Are you alone? – Yes sir, absolutely alone.” “Is your party over? – I was studying, sir.” “No partying – You want to be a doctor, right?” “Yes sir, cancer specialist – Cancer specialist. – Yes.” “Cancer specialist, tell me at which special place have I got cancer?” “Sir, my education is still incomplete how I can tell that.” Shut up. You all only told the students that I have cancer And I don’t have money to get my cancer treated “I have become so poor that you are laughing, idiot.” Are you all not ashamed? You all snatched the fees from the children I have got 500 SMSs since morning Since people got to know that I have cancer I have got 500 SMSs Sir, this is a thing to be happy about you have so many admirers Shut up. Shut up! They are Smsing me so that I pay back their loan before I die You all have done this fraud You all only have done it I will not spare I will not spare anyone! Sir… sir… sir you you… you know what all dreams my mother has for me “…sir, please don’t do any such thing. – Really? – Please sir.” Your mother has dreamt about such dreams? “What is this? – Sir, human research.” Hu – I have human research as a subject “So I am writing a thesis on all these things, that’s it.” This… this… all this is human research? – Sir You are writing your thesis on these naked rags? These obscene photographs! “No… no… no sir… sir, that… that there is leakage on…” the walls so I put these photographs “There is nothing else in this, sir.” “You should have stuck something else, son.” “Sir, I didn’t find anything else so sir…” “See Laxman dear, you are a good boy.” “But don’t let those three loafers enter here. – No, sir.” Please son – Absolutely not “Please son, you concentrate on your studies. – Right, sir.” You are a bright student -Thank you sir. – Ok? – Thank you Sir… sir. No… no sir
Hey thief! “Sir, I don’t know who they are, they are not with me.” “Sir, you… you know them?” So you all are here only “Take this, keep it considering it as the rent for the room.” We will give it every month – You all are bribing me! How long has it been since you all have been thrown out of college 10 years? – 10 It has been 10 years and you all are still here! Sir… sir… sir – Are you all not ashamed! I have a scheme. You sit – I don’t want it Sit down – No. Leave “On buying one Zippo lighter, you get one flat free!” I don’t want any scheme of yours Last time too you all had given a similar scheme “Sir see this, I have brought such an AC…” that all your life your electricity bill will not come “But the AC was good – Keep quiet, fool!” I am still taking loans and paying its bill Hey! What ? “Sir, he is saying that hey we know that you are crazy for Rosy madam and we still haven’t written a letter telling your wife about it Sir! – He is saying it he is saying it not me You all are trying to blackmailing me! You all are trying to blackmailing me! Are you all not ashamed of it! I will hand you people over to the cops Firstly you all are staying illegally here from 10 years I will hand you people over to the cops All your life will be spent in prison Get out! Get out! – Why do you get angry? Say it with some manners – Get… get out! – Come Are you coming? – No. – He cannot take such a small thing Get out… get out… get out! “See you are very intelligent – Thank you, sir.” And don’t let these three loafers come in Never – Keep your doors locked Absolutely. – These loafers shouldn’t come inside “No, sir. – Get out – Thank you, sir.” “Sorry, sir. Thank you, sir. Thank you.” See what you are doing is very wrong One day this dean will throw me out of here I will have problem but even you all won’t have a place to stay in. – Now deal “Hey man, this is sir’s pouch Give I will go and give it back.” “Hey Dhanveer (generous man) Khan’s Xerox, bring it here.” Fair and lovely – Really! Condoms? Its chewing gum What is it? – Go What is that? – Exam paper “Come on give it to me, I will clear. Give it to me.” How will he pass he is not giving his papers Why? – He has to sell the papers tomorrow Correct. As no one is going to buy them from us Why? – And he is decent “Hey… hey see, I am not going to sell papers.” I am very serious about this Hey mother has a deep desire Sorry aunty – Sorry aunty “Here… here… here we go.” “We are running for the money.” “Taking it down with us…” “We are running for the money.” “Here… here… here we go.” “We are running for the money.” “Taking it down with us…” “We are running for the money.” “Is there something fishy or a lot more than that?” “I am great, baby, I am amazing!” “Be careful… be careful.” “Your heart doesn’t get stolen, take care of that.” “Golmaal… Golmaal Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Golmaal… Golmaal Golmaal… Golmaal.” “We are running for the money, buddy.” “We are running for the money.” “We are running for the money, buddy.” “We are running for the money.” “We are not bad, this heart is not bad.” “So if the world is bad then what should we do?” “I am not a bad guy! I am not a bad guy!” “We are not bad, this heart is not bad.” “So if the world is bad then what should we do?” “We teach them what they taught us.” “Have a little blast! – It’s that what you call!” “Golmaal… Golmaal Golmaal… Golmaal”
“Golmaal… Golmaal Golmaal… Golmaal.” “Is there something fishy or a lot more than that?” “I am great, baby, I am amazing.” “Be careful… be careful.” “Your heart doesn’t get stolen, take care of that.” “Hey one time…” “Golmaal… Golmaal Golmaal… Golmaal” “Golmaal… Golmaal Golmaal… Golmaal.” Get out! Get out! I said get out! And never show your inauspicious face ever again! Or else I will hand over each one of you to the cops I said get out! Get out! Firstly you stole my purse On top of that you leaked that paper And you sold it for 500 rupees to the students saying that I have a cut of 400 rupees in that! Are you all not ashamed! Shameless! Fools! Idiots! I don’t even know abuses and on top of that what all schemes did you all bring to me? “Sir, buy this lighter, you will get a free flat.” “Sir, buy this telephone, you will get a refrigerator free.” “Sir, get this AC, your electricity will be free!” Am I a fool! Do you all think that I am a fool! Even a fool is a small word for you all I am… you… you have thought of me… as that… – Chu Keep quiet. Keep quiet! Idiots! Get out! Get out! You all are worse than even Saturn Even Saturn is over someone for only for 71/2 years You all are over me from past 10 years! You all made me crazy! I have gone crazy! Because of you all I am suffering from acidity I will have a heart attack! “You told Rosy madam that I have gone bald, didn’t you?” Yes! Yes I have gone bald… I have gone bald! What will you do? What will you do? I have gone bald… – Sir – Gone bald! – Sir… – Get out! Get… get… get out – There is a new scheme A car free on underwear “Not on this, on an un… – Get out! – Why do you get angry, sir?” Talk with some manners. We will leave “Get out. Please, get out – Come.” Yes I am. I have become If I will stay with you all then I will even become a donkey! Sir – What is it? “You bought the paper and got passed! – Sir, one minute, sir.” “Sir… sir. – Sir, why me… – Get lost from here!” Get out… get out! I am ruined because of you all What will I tell my mother? Poor woman used to work in a collector’s house She dreamt that even I should study and be a collector Why do you need to study to become a collector? You are anyway our collector You only collect our money I don’t want to ruin myself further “I will go to my village, at least I have my own house to stay.” Yes. It’s a great thing to have a house But what’s the use of that house where parents are after killing each other It’s better to be homeless than have such a house Yes hostel is good at least I get good sleep sleeping close to Mallika Sherawat I lost my sleep when I was small My father had two wives. One was my mother And the other of the neighbor Sou(100)… teal(oil) Sou… sou… teal sou teal… souteali(step) Her kids used to make fun of my dumbness You still had a house I neither had a house nor family When I came to my senses I was in Jhamnadas orphanage First I used to think that Jhamnadas only is my father Then I later got to know that Jhamnadas expired when small His father had made this orphanage in his remembrance Then send them into an orphanage They won’t take you all in even there I don’t want to stay with you all. I am going He will come back in that same speed he left It’s 10.30 “Gopal, he is talking to you.” What… tsunami? We are here only “Hey man, we should have betted on it.” He came back again Is this a time to jog! Ok Vasuli is coming Hey run from here! Catch those rascals!
“We are running for the money.” “We are running for the money.” “Hey Gopal, hurry up! Run! Come on!” “Hey, come on!” “What happened, buddy? What happened?” We have taken it on installment this doesn’t mean that it keeps on stopping. – Man! “It keeps on stopping, what kind of a bike is this!” “What happened? – Hurry up, look!” Hey! Vasuli! Vasuli! “We are running for the money.” We will have to climb this gate – Doors open too! Come! Hey! Who is it? Who is it? – No one I am having this feeling that he saw us Did he see or not? What he saw no one else saw that – What did he see? He saw that we are four of us and oldie is alone He will go inside and call the police Then let’s run Yes. Anyway we haven’t come to buy the bungalow No… no… no… no! You know if there is any noise then I feel as if our grandson Sameer has come When Sameer will come he will come in broad day light He will not come at night like a thief Wonder whether he will come or not He will come… he will come America is not close by. You know it take 22 hours even by plane Here it has been 22 years I had seen him when he was small “I know and you are just living waiting for him, right?” Why not he is our only grandson and if you go to see then he is our only heir. Really See let him come whenever he comes But till he comes we will have to live “…being each other’s support, right?” One… tell me one thing “When he will come, how will recognize him?” You don’t worry I am sure – Yes We… we will feel it on our own “Come on, it’s very late lets go to sleep.” Switch off the lights What difference does it make whether there is light or darkness? We are destined for nights 24 hours a day. – Yes Then why did you take a torch and go outside? Yes. So that the thieves don’t get to know that two blind people stay in this bungalow Hey the oldie fooled us they both are blind! They are not deaf “Kalengoor, last bus stop – Last bus stop.” Chapel lane. Last bungalow – Last bungalow The name of the bungalow? Shanti Niketan – Not Nari Niketan it’s Shanti Nike I said Shanti Niketan only – Shanti Niketan Which floor? – Who came? Who came? He is asking which floor – Is your top floor empty or what? I said bungalow… bungalow! He is asking for which floor! Two people stay there an old man and an old lady Both are blind – Blind! Your work will be done Hey where is Gopal? What are you thinking of? – There is an idea
What if I enter the house as Sameer? Hey what if they get to know then? They can’t see whatever face it is what difference does it make? No… no it’s a sin to do such Hey think it’s such a big bungalow Our lives will be made. No problem of food and drinks! But you both will have to stay as Lucky What do you mean? I mean that you both will have to stay as dumb and deaf like Lucky No one will speak. Only I will speak – Thank you My head is blasting after hearing them talk. Hey! Hey see I won’t be able to do this. I am going Hey where are you going? Hey leave me Hey what are you guys doing! – You won’t listen! Where are you going? – Are you all not ashamed! Hey! Hey who is it? Who Who… who is it? Who are you? Say! Say! Who are you! Who are you? Who are you, thief! I will call the police. Police. Thief! Who are you, tell! Tell or else I will call the cops, tell! I… I… – Who I? – I… I I… – Who I? – You are grandpa Who are you, thief? – I… I… I am Sameer Sameer? Who Sameer? – Sameer your grandson! Sameer! – My grandson? My grandson, you came from America! So why didn’t you say as yet? – Surprise… surprise! How did you come? Flying. – You flied? – In the plane… in the plane You came all of a sudden. You should have said that you are coming You should have written a letter Or you should have told someone You should have called – I saw Swades movie so I came Swades. Hey Swades in Vedesh (foreign) Now you stop your military investigation. – Yes… yes… yes My grandson has come after so many years Let him at least breath easy. Come… come son, come Come. You have come after so many years come. -Be careful of the sofa Come sit… sit. You have flied you must be tired Sit… sit… sit – That’s it -Hey where are you going, sit… sit Where is your luggage? – I have brought them I have three suitcases Keep them inside there are many thieves here Which flight did you come in? – That… from America! New York to Goa! – Now Goa is direct? You stay in Chicago, right? That… I shifted – You shifted, ok Where did you stay in New York? That New York – That is there Where do you stay? Where? – There Where do you stay in the whole of New York? Jhasi’s queen! – Jhasi’s queen? Fire torch! I don’t stay close to Balasaheb’s house Statue! – Statue? -Statue of Bata… Bata Lib… liberty’s statue. Next to statue of liberty. – Ok Statue of liberty, ok But the statue is in water From when? – From always or even that shifted? No I was joking I open the window of the house then I can see that Ok so you have a house facing that How nice would it have been if your parents would have come What happened? What happened! Grandpa, there was a cat – Was it a cat or a bull? Is that cat Chinese? Hey you keep quiet! – You talk like this with your grandpa! Where are your values? Can’t grandpa joke on a cat? You have learnt this from aboard and come? Hey you stop! – Stop? Who went? Who went? “Grandpa, not stop, hunger… hunger.” He must be hungry he has come from so far away “You wait, son. I will just cook food and come. – Four plates.” Why four plates? That… that I have carried three suitcases with me so I am hungry “Three suit cases four plates, right.” “No… no… no… no not four today in one plate only you, I…” and your grandpa will have food together Yes… yes – Ok bring the food fast Why is your voice coming from far away?
“That grandpa, that… my stomach…” is empty so my voice is echoing “Ok, it is echoing – God! He has gone crazy.” “You still didn’t tell me your postal address, son.” Listen – Yes Remove the box of clarified butter from top for me Yes – Go remove the box Yes grandson has come so today there will be pure clarified butter “Otherwise no oil, no clarified butter for me. Dry bread.” Hey! I don’t want to stay here! If we stay with him we will direct land up in prison I am going “You cannot go anywhere, you are my half body!” What do you mean that I am your half body? I mean for the oldie you are Sameer by body and I am from voice Yes and these blinds are very smart Once when they touch anyone they never forget that touch “And even voice, now it will go on in the same way.” “I cannot do this – You will have to do it, Laxman.” “Now this will only go on – Oh God, what a life have you given.” Now what will happen to me? Nothing will happen; you are living such a life from so long You speak on my signals! Hey keep quiet! “And Gopal, your this plan is going to flop.” I am sure that these two oldies are not blind “That oldie was looking at me like this, you know!” Staring widely! – Hey blind people look this way only Hey no that old lady also winked at me She winked at you? – Yes That means that she is 100o/o blind She is not! – Hey you! See keep quiet or else I will make you unconscious and then take you inside! See I “Hey! – Sameer dear, the food is ready. – Shut up!” Hey my voice. – Sorry sorry. – And whose body? – Mine Boss… boss… boss! What is it? – Sattu has come. Sattu! A toad in the sea? – Sattu Supari! O my God “Hey! Supari, my born killer! How do you come, man?” What come… come? I have just escaped from being less You know that! – What! – Can’t you give me full information! Two blind! Two blind! Who will say that they have four bodyguards! How? Then! Hey they hit the coconut with such an aim that if they go for Olympics they will make India proud What? – They will make India proud! “Hey why are you yelling, what do you think that I am deaf?” Shut up! What… what have you thought of ahead? “What have I thought, I will remove an x-ray of my skull.” And… and I will take a pain killer “Will take a pain killer, you just do that only.” I will hire another professional killer. Go Hey! – What! – Give Sattu Supari another chance please! This time I will go fully prepared – You will go? Yes – Then go Hey why are you walking like this? Has a nail ever been stuck on your back side? – No Then you cannot understand my pain You all cannot understand my pain. I am going “On that right side, it’s much deeper that side. Yes.” Stop walking! Listen to me! No! I won’t listen to anybody! You guys have got me stuck here On top of that you don’t allow me to eat too Today I will jump from here and commit suicide Hey! Lami! “My Laxman, if you died then what will happen to Nirupa Roy?” Nirupa Roy? I will call your mother Nirupa Roy I can’t call her Aishwaria Rai This building is of 2 floors “If you survived by mistake, then do you…” how much expense you will have to incur? “As it is, our financial status is not good.” Keep quiet! Because of you I am starving! And it is better to commit suicide than to starve! Listen! Where will your counting end? At 3. 2 This is not ‘Sholay’ type suicide He is really going to die He can’t pee in the dark And he will commit suicide! 23/4 Hey! Hey! What about me if you die? I won’t be able to speak! And who will do my dubbing? Then come. You too come It is better to end our lives forever I am leaving “Hey, Lucky. You have time, don’t you?” Do one thing. Get another pack of snacks for me Cold drink Indian burger for me. Less spicy “You were going to die, weren’t you?” I will eat and then I will die I will not die with empty stomach Otherwise you will have acidity – You! “If you die, then give me your watch.” “Now if you won’t die, then I only will push you!” What a friend you are! You are not letting me to die peacefully too! You can live peacefully after your death! This is too much! I will not die! – Go! I am dead! – Without jumping? Oh God! She is that girl on the stairs! What! There is a CD on her? No! We had seen her on the stairs that day! Look! Other corpses too are standing in the queue Cheap guys! Shameless! Aren’t they ashamed to see a girl changing clothes? “I know! There is no decency in this world! – Yes, buddy!” They peep in other’s houses! – Yes What is she doing! We were looking!
Fool! Gopal doesn’t know the difference between buying and making alcohol Today I will drink to my heart’s content “Exactly my sentiments, buddy!” Why are you sitting woebegone? – Then why should I do? “You guys don’t let me eat, drink or commit suicide.” Keep quiet! Look at this! You guys don’t even let me wail! Sameer! Sameer! I hope the food was sufficient Did you eat properly? I hope the food was sufficient Why don’t you say something? I think you are feeling sleepy “I lost my slumber a long time back, dear. A long time back.” Say something. Why are you angry? I think you didn’t like the food cooked by your grandma What to do? Since the time she has lost her eyesight she adds sugar instead of salt and salt instead of sugar Sometimes I too drink salty tea Say something. Why don’t you speak up I think you are like your father Till the time I wouldn’t beat him 10 times he wouldn’t speak Say! Say! Say! Say! I too had beaten your father a lot when he was a kid! Say something! I think you like beatings from your grandpa! Say something! “Grandpa, there was betel leaf in the mouth.” I was searching for a place to spit I see! You must have spited at a nice place You eat betel leaf in America too? It is available there “What do you think of America, grandpa?” In each nook and corner What chatting is going on between the grandpa and grandson? Nothing! I was asking how is everybody in America And how is America Everything is fine in America – I see! And they both? Who? With whom you stay Parents! – Your parents! They are fine. They are good They miss you both a lot “If they miss us, then why didn’t they come?” “If they had come, then how would you have missed them today?” What does Sujata say about me? Sujata? Who? – Fool! Forgot your mother’s name! Sujata! Who! – Fool! Your mother! Your mom! “Grandpa, she is fine.” I have been calling her as mother since childhood So I don’t remember her name She misses you both a lot Can I go to sleep? – What! Actually I have come from such a far off place I see! Jetlag! Jetlag! He is tired! “Grandma, bed sheets.” Everything is there in the cupboard 4 bed sheets Why 4? – Why 4? It is very cold in America So since childhood I have the habit of taking 4 bed sheets Go! It is lying in the cupboard! “You will need it for cold and hot weather. Go, dear. Go to sleep.” “Goodnight, grandpa.” Hey! Have you forgotten the custom of the house? ‘Jai Shree Krishna’ ‘Jai Shree Krishna” -“Jai shree Krishna.” grandpa ‘Jai Shree Krishna’! ‘Jai Shree Krishna’! He forgets his mother’s name But he remembers goodnight Forget it! Why does he need 4 bed sheets? There must be some reason Why are you after it! “There are only 3 bed sheets here – Not 3, 2!” “But we are 4 people -Mind-blowing! Not 2, 1! Thanks.” But Go away! Even I need a bed sheet! Otherwise I can’t sleep! “You need slumber, not bed sheet to go to sleep. Go to sleep.” “Life sucks, buddy.” ‘Vande Mantram’! ‘Vande Mantram’! Who is it? ‘Vande Mantram’! – Keep quiet! What are you doing! Keep quiet! – ‘Vande Mantram’! ‘Vande Mantram’! Keep quiet! -What has happened! Have you gone mad! Were you seeing ‘Mangal Pandey’! Was somebody hanging you? – I was seeing a dream “I saw that the old lady, the old man…” and you all were trying to kill me We all have not joined hands But we do want to kill you! Sameer! Sameer! What freedom are you fighting for in the middle of the night? Actually 26th January is approaching soon. I was rehearsing for that I see! 26th January! It has gone. A few days ago 15th August is going to come – Yes. 15th August! 15th August! “Tell me one thing. You are Sameer, aren’t you?” No! I am Ajay Devgan! Why! “Grandpa, I am Sameer! Your Sameer! Why are you asking?” Because since the time you have returned from America
you haven’t asked about the box “Box? Box! Yes, grandpa! Where is the box? I forgot.” That box is there. It is where it should be You go to sleep. You go to sleep What is there? “It is a mattress, grandpa. Mattress.” Mattress Too much of dirt Yes Dry it in the sun Dry the mattress “Jai Shree Krishna’, grandpa!” Goodnight. Sleep tight “Not box! If there was a pistol, then I would have shot him.” Go to sleep! Go to sleep! It’s paining a lot? Where is it hurting? Show me! Who is there? Who is there? I am there. What happened? Why did you whistle? – Whistle? “Darling, after 40 years of marriage…” husband can only shoot his wife. But not whistle Who is there? What happened? “Nothing, grandpa. Chinese cat.” Chinese cat. Chinese cat Cat! – Go! “What? – Grandpa, cat!” It will drink all the milk! “I am observing, dear.” You have forgotten to seek elder’s blessings too Come. Touch my feet Actually… grandpa! What! Come! Come! Seek my blessings Actually… grandpa! – What! Seek my blessings Come! Seek my blessings! Come! Stand straight! Will you talk like this with your grandpa? You will say stand straight! Fool! “I… was talking to God, grandpa.” I was performing the veneration Where you performing the veneration or scolding your grandpa Come! Come! Seek my blessings! Come! What happened? “Chinese cat, grandpa!” Wow! Why are you sitting here? You know he is in trouble there! What are you doing here! Mind-blowing! I had sent you guys to bring him! What are you both doing here? We are seeing a rape – Where? There! We have found a good chance We will save the girl and impress her! Your idea is great! Let’s go! – Come on! Salman Khan is coming! Jackie Chan also! – Wait! Wait! I want to be Salman Khan You all will make me P.T. Usha What is the need to run? We will call the cap? Watchman? Police! Police! Yes! Nice idea! We will call the police! First the heroes enter! And then the police! Ring the bell! Ring the bell! Where is the bell? Is it a temple? – Oh yeah! From the back! “Wait, rapist! Your hero has come!” Hero? – Yes The hero breaks the glass and makes the entry in the Hindi movies It is a great idea! – Who will be the scapegoat? Me! Mummy! Who are you all! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! “Come on, boys! Come on.” Are you looking at us angrily? Or your face is like this?
At least thank us for saving you from the rapists Shut up! Who are you all! And how dare you all come in! You all ruined the rehearsals! – Sorry! It implies they were not raping you? Oh God! No! This is the theme of our drama! What did I do? – Aren’t you ashamed! For spreading such rumors! Such a beautiful girl. Such – Item Such a rich girl! Decent girl! I am ashamed of you guys! “Sorry, ma’am! I beg your pardon.” “You… continue. Continue sir, continue raping her.” Please! Please! Please! Go on! Please! Please! Go on! Please – Your sister is calling Great! I didn’t do anything I am a decent man. I was roaming on the terrace “Drying my vessels Sorry, drying my clothes.” He! – Hey! He! – No! He came and told me that a girl is there and 4-5 guys have pounced on her Even I was wondering that you don’t rape by putting on the music system I am very sorry This is not my fault Liar! Cheater! I am sorry! Really! Not I! Not I! I came… he told me He told me that a few guys are raping that item girl Let’s go and help her To help her. To help her Aren’t you ashamed to spread such cheap things about a decent girl? Keep quiet! God has given you the ability to speak! It doesn’t mean that you will talk rubbish! Get out! She is asking you to leave. Come I said get out! – We are leaving! “Excuse me, ma’am It is your fault.” What do you mean? “Your acting was so real, that we couldn’t…” stop ourselves from saving you Gopal makes us toil so much And he himself bosses around and he relaxes Hey You both are quiet! That’s why I too am quiet Otherwise I would have You guys can just threaten and not do anything else “If I lost my mind, then I will break his teeth!” You guys are laughing! You guys think that I am jesting! Let him come in front of me “I will tell him that whatever she is doing, that is fine.” “And Gopal, these two scoundrels…” are provoking me against you. Do you know? “If you will beat me, then I won’t wash the vessels.” You are not washing it properly “Look, this is not clean. Clean it again.” Come on! Come on! Come on! They both are blind They won’t know whether it is clean or dirty “Hail Ram! Hail Ram! Hail Ram!” “Hail Krishna! Hail Krishna! Hail Krishna!” The worship is over? Isn’t it strange? – What happened? Since the time Sameer has returned home he doesn’t allow us to do any work He had stayed in America And there you have to do everything yourself Really? – Yes “Greetings, grandpa Greetings, grandma.” Niraali. Take the offerings “Grandma, can I get some pickle?” There is enough! Your grandma’s pickle has still tied me here Otherwise a long time back Again you have started. You sit. I will get the pickle “Okay – Come, dear.” “Come, grandpa.” What’s the matter? Grandma seems to be very happy today She is bound to be “Her grandson, Sameer has returned from America.” Really! – “Grandpa, did you call me?” I never called you You have come uninvited You? “Grandpa, your hot water for bathing is ready. Let’s go.” “Come, dear. With your support… where did you go?” Come. It will get cold – Yes! Yes! “Come. – Dear, you sit I will take a bath and come.” Come – Okay Is there a towel inside? Or do I have to use my dhoti? Go inside. Everything is there So you – There is so much work! What! – I have to do grandpa and grandma’s work! “By the way, what do you do in America?” I… I… in America I fly the kite. – What! I mean I make kites I have a factory of kites Factory of kites! Strange! “It is strange here. But in America, it is in demand.” Less of flight and more of kites fly Let’s go out Your interest lies in what?
Did you hear that? Your interest lies in what? He has come down to kissing in the first meeting Let’s go and see what he is doing! – Come! I mean what is your hobby? Music! Abhijeet Sawant! He is my favorite! Mine too – I see He plays guitar well Guitar? He is a singer! He sings Really? – Yes Then who is the one who plays the guitar in the back? In the back? What do I know? – Forget it! That… your four sisters – Sisters? I see! They! They are not my sisters We all are paying guest. We stay together I was wondering what your father does. – What? I mean what is his profession? He has a business in Ahmedabad I see. And what do you do? I want to be a fashion designer Right now I am awaiting my result By the way nowadays we are organizing a couple’s car race We will donate the money to people affected by rains That day I too got drenched so much But you were in America What! Yes! Yes! Come! – You are a jolly person! That day if I too had got drenched here would you have helped me too? Of course! What I was saying – Yes The couple’s car race that we are organizing I had given this idea I love speed! You know! And I will support Monty in tomorrow’s race Monty? Who? That rapist? Yes. He is my good friend – I see! And I am sure that he will win! “By the way, I have never been defeated.” Really? Then do one thing You too participate tomorrow Yes! -I don’t have the license Somebody laughed – I don’t have license of this place I have America’s license I don’t have license of this place So I was saying Who has locked the door from outside? Open the door! – There! I will come. You don’t go – No! No! I am here only Hi! – You all We live here only – Here? Actually we want to ask many things from you “For the moment, forgiveness will be fine.” Thank you. Sorry Me too Actually we ruined your rehearsal They couldn’t even rape you properly. Very sorry about that Its okay! And you will not say sorry. Am I right? He will not speak! He will never speak! He is like this “By the way let me introduce you to my darling servant, Lucky.” “My laundry boy, Laxman And my cook, Madhav.” “Say hi, boys! Say hi! – Hi!” They are your servants! They have worn good clothes I guess you pay them well – Actually I “Let’s go, Niraali. We will talk on the way. Come. – Okay.” Put this in the vase! Come! Come! Come! “Back to work, boys! Back to work!” This Gopal! He makes us the servant! And he went away with her! How far will he go? He doesn’t know how to drive the car I will win tomorrow’s race – What do you mean? And my trophy will be Niraali! But where will the car come for us useless people? I will arrange for that too What are you going! “50! 50! How much! 50! ‘ – Excuse me, sir.” Madhav! – Hi! Aren’t you Madhav! No! He is calling you Madhav! Then he will call you Laxman! Then he will call you Gopal! No! Absolutely no! This is Ceo – And that’s Dinky! “Madhav, did he recognize us?” What is the lady saying? She is saying that she wants a nice car A car that will suit my Dinky! – Yes “I see! Ma’am, look at this. 1965 model!” “Ceo, is he talking about the car” or telling us his birthday! Dinky is so funny! She is so funny! Really! Come here! “Ma’am, look at that. A nice model. Just like you.” Let’s see the model. Forget her Come – Come Look at this! The latest and speed car! It is in demand in the market And there is no such goods in the market too “We don’t want goods, we want car. We have goods.” And I will have to test drive it
Yes. Can we test drive it? Please Let’s take a test drive – Thank you Will you sit on my lap? Hold this! – Ophs! Take the chequebook Fill in the amount “See you soon – Bye, cartoon.” Ophs! Wrong man! “Bye, sweetie! – Come.” “Careful, Dinky.” Dinky! Take a small test drive. Dinky! “Golmaal!” Receipt for Ganpati’s charity “Hey, Dinky! You conned me!” “Good afternoon, friends!” Welcome to Castrol GTX motor chase 2006 We are thankful to all of you That you all participated in this rally for the 26th July Rainfall Relief And to increase the excitement of this race’s the winner of this race will receive a cheque prize of 5 lakhs You won’t be able to defeat Monty He seems to be a professional Even I am a professional! Look at my idea! “Golmaal.” Come on! “Golmaal!” Faster! Faster! Faster! Got the steering! Its petrol is not getting over What Our petrol will get over! Monty! The petrol is over! Oh God! What is happening! Run quickly! There is so much petrol in your car!
Please! My honor is at stake! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! For Niraali’s sake! Come on! A little bit more! We won! Nonsense! I saw your driving! You should participate in a bullock race! Not a car race! “Niraali, I don’t know how the petrol got over in the car.” If you don’t have the money to buy the petrol then why did you participate in the car race! Relax! – You have made a mockery of me too! We are meeting for lunch I will explain then Lunch and with you! I will not even have tea with you! “Niraali, listen!” Leave me! Leave me! Now I call on stage the winner of Castrol GTX motor chase 2006 Mr. Madhav Singh Ghai! Madhav! – Madhav! – Madhav! – Madhav! Thank you! Thank you! And here comes the cheque of 5 lakhs Yeah! Yeah! Now as decided Mr. Madhav Singh will donate the amount to 26th July Rainfall Relief Charitable Trust Wow! He is so handsome! “You are also not any less, darling!” Will you come for 9-12? You! It is your hobby to tease girls! Shut up! Why didn’t you tell her something? You can’t speak I was just jesting! Why are you feeling bad? You know! You should be driving Do you know Shubash Ghai? He is my close relative But he is not launching me And I want to be an actor So unwillingly I only have to produce and direct the film ‘Uima! ‘ – What happened? It is the name of my movie! My movie’s name! And I am the hero Then what were you doing in Shanti Niketan? I am the 3rd actor! 3rd actor! You see I am making a movie on servants And I wanted to know servants closely. Yes! I see! So you are a perfectionist? Always! Always! You must have seen how I had stopped at the race line. – Yes! Neither in the front nor on the back. Just perfect Do you have lunch? Will you have lunch with me? Today I… I mean – No! No! No! “Look, my perfectionist heart will break.” Like how you broke the petrol’s tank “Golmaal!” Its mine! “This prize belongs to you, Niraali.” This fool had made a hole in your tank! So that you lose this race! His face is like mine! There is anther like me! Idiot! I had taught you driving! – Liar! Not to cheat! – You are lying! What I thought of you and what you turned out to be! “Let it be, Niraali.” It is futile to lock horns with such filthy people “We will spoil our mood. Come, I will escort you home. Come.” You can sit anywhere I will not spare you! Lunch? What about lunch? Where are you going? We will have to do something about this Gopal kid! What about the kid? He is still not born? Do something about Gopal But what can you do? You want to say that I can’t do anything! No! No! You can do something In front of him you can plead and implore “You are talking too much, you dumb!” What is his fault? Vent out your anger on him If you have masculine powers I have masculine powers I will not spare him!
Try it – You too! Yes! That day Gopal call you a ‘Bawarchi’ (cook) in front of Niraali “Still you kept quiet Yes, but what can you do?” You know why I kept quiet that day! Because ‘Bawarchi’ was a great success! So many people have remade that movie! Otherwise I wouldn’t have spared him! I swear! “In spite of wining the race, you couldn’t impress the girl.” “But what can he do, Lucky?” You are talking too much! Listen! – Forget it! But what can you do? What I can do! I… have decided – You have made a correct decision You can’t do anything! I can’t do anything! I can’t do anything! Now I will show you what I can do! I will What can I do? What can I do? “You can break his bones, break his teeth…” “…make him crippled, if you are one father’s son.” No! – What? You are not one father’s son! Not that! All this used to happen in 1980’s movies Breaking legs. I will break his skull! It is a slow torture! Really? He is exaggerating What did dumb say? He is saying that you are doing the right thing! We can’t say that in front of him! See to it that he doesn’t survive If he survives then we won’t survive Are you encouraging me or scaring me? No. You be strong You just wait and wait I will smash his skull in such a way that he will become blind He will keep on saying sorry for his entire life Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! His skull will smash Good! He will become blink You will go in the prison I am not interested in this. Niraali will be mine Hey! – He has come! Hey! I want to pee! “Fine, I will keep the bathroom ready.” You first go and smash his head! – Thank you I thrash him! I thrash him! Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! Let’s go and check! Come! – We are with you! Come! Hide your face What have you done? I think you have killed him! I didn’t kill him I just smashed with the rod But you were only going to make him blind He is lying unconscious Who is he? Did you see a ghost? No Who is he! What is he saying? “Today you won’t say anything, my friend.” He is saying that he is hungry Keep quiet! I will – Where did he go? I am asking who was he! – Is grandpa in some mess? I didn’t expect this from grandma No! It could be grandpa too But Gopal you are very nice “Nobody will hit you with the rod. Come, I will serve dinner.” Have you cooked the dinner? – You have become so thin You go. You take a holiday You can’t do anything Go somewhere. I have some other plan. Go Hail Mother Mary! “Grandpa, shall I do more?” “Grandpa, have you quarreled with somebody?” Quarreled? Where will the blind man go to fight? It is an extended life. We are fighting with ourselves I mean loan or something? I had given a loan. To your father. He repaid that He sent you here Grandpa! Grandma! You have arrived You have arrived – Grandmother, grandfather.” Bless you bless you How did you come back again? – By ship Did you not have the money to come in a flight?
“I had grandfather, I was just going…” to set up my business but my fate turned against me All of it became Loss Angeles “Sameer, this is our servant Pandu.” “Okay Mr. Pandurang, when will you go back now?” “Come on grandfather, now I will…” spend the rest of my life here near your feet The poor guy works and saves up money and then goes to Dubai to do business And then looses everything and comes back here What is this grandfather? What is this? I went for a few day and you kept a new servant This is not a servant this is our grandson Sameer. – Stupid You had seen him in the childhood “He used to eat lollypop, used to…” wear half pant and used to do a lot of mischief “Sameer, you are so grown up now.” You have become a man no from a child Even you have become a monkey from a man Who are you? – He is Sameer You had seen him in the childhood “He used to eat lollypop, used to…” wear half pant and used to do a lot of mischief “Oh, this is Sameer.” Who is this? – He is Sameer You had seen him in the childhood “He used to eat lollypop, used to…” wear half pant and used to do a lot of mischief “Okay, he is Sameer, he is Sameer.” He is Sameer – Who is this? I told you that I am Sameer You had seen him in the childhood “He used to eat lollypop, used to…” wear half pant and used to do a lot of mischief Correct – I accept that you are Sameer But who are the remaining three? You have come drunk again in this house Pandurang That is why I was thinking grandfather that why is he shaking so much You keep quiet “Grandfather, grandfather not three…” but there are four Sameer’s Grandfather he can see four Sameers now What? What have you mixed Pandurang Tell me what did you drink? Tell me! Grandfather, I did not mix anything I swear by my mother What? You are swearing by your mother after being drunk “Grandfather I will show you, I mean I will let you smell.” What happened? – Grandfather he cannot even walk properly It is useless to talk to him – Listen we have to go to the temple Sameer dear. – Yes – Will you take us? This Pandu has become useless You passport size photo If you want to live here then mind your own business “Sameer dear, today my wish is finally fulfilled.” “Here take this, break this into small…” changes and distribute them in the poor It is a thousand rupees note “Sorry grandmother, but I am the biggest poor here.” Sorry Lord “It is the last – Oh Lord, oh Lord.” “Grandfather you, I as about to come to your house.” “Why, is all the pickles finished?” “No, no actually there is a dance…” competition in my college in which I am going to take part And I want to win this competition at any cost That is why I wanted your blessing You do have our blessings “You will surely win it, okay.” Okay but only blessing s will not do – Then? Both of you will also have to come “Dear, both of us cannot come, Sameer is there.” Sameer will surely come “All the best, dear.” “No, because they are blind they…” brought me here thinking that I was Sameer “I did not want to hurt them, you…” also please don’t tell them anything For some time even I will get the love of grandfather and grandmother “And yes, best of luck for the dance competition.” I will pray to Lord that he should make you win “Thank you. – Bye – Bye, see you.” What were you searching for? Four anas, it had fallen.” I was searching for it He is saying that you had not come in this room yesterday When did he say? “The wind was blowing, the four anas…” must have come here I will look for it later “Listen, what were you searching for?” “Me, nothing – If I will hit you even once.” Then you will break up into pieces I told you that I was not searching for anything You people – Have you ever seen a gang?
No. – Do you want to see? – Okay You don’t know what a big mistake you all are making If I hit you even once from the back of my hand you will die There is also no hospital nearby I will go I will go I will go and teach him a lesson I understood You go – You are the hero That is why I don’t want to get beaten up Let us forgive him – You can go we forgive you You give and look for your four annas “You lizards, gang bang.” I banged the whole banged together “Get up, it is your good luck that I am not well today.” Otherwise I would have beaten “…so badly, I would have bitten you so badly, get up.” Get up Seems like the blind man has put together an army or eunuchs Wait! “What did he say? – He is saying that, wait!” I’ll show you. – Take this kick! – Did you see Superman? This is called gangbang What were you searching for? A suitcase and the key to its lock You work here isn’t it? Don’t you know where the suitcase is? The old man. The old man is very cunning He can hide the suitcase anywhere Manner less, aren’t you ashamed that you call your master cunning Come on get out of here Or I will put you in the cooker and sound the whistle Tell him to talk with respect okay Stupid he is talking to you with respect. – I see “Aren’t you ashamed, the house…” where you grew up you look to break that house “You Shakti Kapoor, and you are doing that.” I will see everybody – First take your hands out of your pants then see everybody Leave him. – Made me Charlie Chaplin from a snake Suitcase -Suitcase. – Suitcase I don’t even have one percent time Tomorrow there is a dance competition and I have to practice for that Dance competition -Dance competition. – Quiet Grass cutting competition “The bungalows that are here, their…” owners have arranged a special competition that is all Grass cutting competition “Tell me the truth, otherwise I will beat you up so badly.” when you’ll stand up People will say that how well he is dancing No there is a dance competition in which I am going to take part
With whom? – Niraali – With Niraali Where did he go? – Let him go Leave it. – Yes. – You don’t have any interest No. -Good What happened to the music? – Why are you asking me? What is happening Monty? – How would I know? Please go and check it right now? – Okay I will go and see What the hell “There is something-something in my heart.” “There is something-something in my heart.” “Please stay in my heart my beloved.” “Please don’t leave me my beloved.” “Please stay in my heart my beloved.” “Please don’t leave me my beloved.” “Please stay in my heart my beloved.” “Please don’t leave me my beloved.” “I have made a place for you in my heart.” “You please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay in my heart.” “You please stay, please stay.” “You please stay, please stay.” “You please stay, please stay.” “Please stay in my heart.” “Please stay in my heart my beloved.” “Please don’t leave me my beloved.” “Please stay in my heart my beloved.” “Please don’t leave me my beloved.” “I have made a place for you in my heart.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay in my heart.” “Lest go till the sky, let us go and touch the sky.”‘ “Let us explore the world of dreams…” “…until our heart is content.” “The rhythm that is there in our heart.” “With that rhythm let us win over…” “…the world and make them dance to along us.” “Listen’ listen always to the heart my friend.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay in my heart.” “You please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay in my heart.” “Please stay in my heart my beloved.” “Please don’t leave me my beloved.” “Please stay in my heart my beloved.” “Please don’t leave me my beloved.” “I have made a place for you in my heart.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay in my heart.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay, please stay.” “Please stay in my heart.” “Save me, save me.” Where are both of them? “Sanju, doesn’t Vasuli look exactly like Sanjay Dutt?” “Look, look I have the money I swear.” “I have it in my pocket, sorry it is…” not in my pocket I have given it to my friend for safe keeping “They are there, here.” They were playing here just now “That red cap, red cap, red cap.” You are the rightful owners of this win
Where are the remaining three – The remaining three They are only my supporters I am the main person. – Yes I don’t now what would have happened if you all would not have come on the right time Maybe you had prayed to God with “…a pure heart for my win, isn’t it? – Yes, with a lot of honesty.” By the way I am an artist – Yes And you? – I am very interested in painting and dancing But just with art you cannot run a home. -Yes That is why I even do fashion designing My mother was a collector – Ticket collector “No, no a IAS officer.” I spent my childhood in richness Then why did clean utensils in grandfather and grandmother house? Because my mother wanted me to also become a collector And my want was Sadhna – Your girlfriend “No, no I mean the devotion towards art.” That is why I decided that no matter how much I would have to struggle I will never ask my mother for help I believe in goodness and truthfulness That is very good thing I like good and truthful people very much Do you even like me then? Did you forgive him for the lies he told? You had that dance competition I don’t know why he was so envy As soon as your show started he cut the speaker wires and took the CD out Isn’t this the one? – This I will keep this – Leave it And said now I will see how she wins “Then I explained to him, you fool the show must go on.” All the dance that I thought you when will you use that “And I pushed him, that is when started dancing.” “Then I explained to him, that now go and say sorry to her.” “You said sorry to her, thank God you forgave him.” You see I cannot withstand lies You cheater! – He is joking – Shut up! – He is joking “Niraali, there is a lot of space” on my bike you know that Should I give you a lift? Please come There is a lot of space can I also come? We all three will dance and you will take the girl alone Vasuli “Stupid, here take ten rupees.” It is ‘Nag Panchami’ go and drink some milk Was saying that I knew every corner of the house Nothing, you all can do nothing at all I will have to do everything Go and do Why are you crying like a girl? Show some anger Are you a man or not? Gopal made such a big fun of you And you kept quiet Did your mother gave you education for this? She only gave me education You did not let me give the exams We had left you alone for giving the love exams And your love story was about to be created And he ruined everything “Who ruined it, that stupid?” But in front of Niraali he even insulted you At least I made a hole in Monty’s car “What did you do? -Dance. – Dance, yuck.” All you did was cut the wire He took advantage of my good will “Listen cut hi, cut him -Wire. – Are you an electrician?” Cut Gopal. – I cannot cut anyone. – What? You cannot cut anyone Did you forget what all he did with you? He snatched your room And after coming here he even snatched your food He even snatched your life He even snatched your Niraali from you. – Correct And do you remember that night When you did not have a blanket to sleep with Do you know where that blanket went? Who took it? You lost the blanket because of him If I would have been in you place “I would have bought a death cloth for him, a death cloth.” Then come in my place I don’t even have money to buy poison You are crying for such a small thing “Such a small thing, I am there, your friend.” I will give you money for the poison Really I am telling you the truth Really. – Yes – Then okay “Tea, tomorrow his morning tea will be his last tea.” What are you doing? – Dance Gopal. – Yes – Gopu. – Say! Hot tea Give – Drink it. – Go from here Why are you staring at me like dogs?
Have you seen my face for the first time? “For the last time. – Why, are you committing suicide again?” Gopu please don’t do so much hard work I cannot see it. You please down for some time You flop actor. – What was the need to call me a flop actor Whether I lie down or sit down what difference does it make to you “You are right, whether you lie down…” or sit it does not make any difference to me But finally you are going to become late Late Gopal – Madhav please don’t trouble him How are you feeling? I am feeling as if two mice’s are making noise in my ears He can hear noises – What else is happening? Just once I propose to Niraali Then I will start a family “You don’t think about Niraali and the family, -I am there.” How are you feeling heath wise? “Health wise, health wise some thing is happening to me.” My right hand is itching “Right, first the left leg will itch, then…” the right then the whole body from the head to the body “You do, don’t you know what I do when my right hand itches?” “No, I beat everyone up.” “No Madhav my brother, don’t hit him.” He is alive only for a few moments now Come here you fool “You hit, you hit if you want to die by hitting some one.” You go on hitting What are you doing? Why are you hitting so hard What are you doing? This is the place where I wear my glasses Why do you take everything so seriously? Laxman what did you do If he carries on hitting us like this We will die before him “You stupid people, you are troubling me since morning.” “I asked for tea, there was only empty cup.” What happened? Who is it? Seem like he drank the tea that was meant for Gopal What happened? What is he saying He is saying that the tea Laxman had made for you in that – I had brought ice specially for Gopal And I had put spices in it and also red chilly powder Are you making tea or a delicacy? Shu up Making tea or soup Who? He will not die so easily “I know those fools, even the poison…” must have been a fake How will they save? Till when will they save themselves? What is it? – Grandfather What happened to your voice? I have a sore throat grandfather “Tel me one thing, what is the time? – 12:05.” “Oh, it is already 12 o’ clock.” 12:05 come after 12 grandfather “After that 12:06, 12:07, 8, 9.” How is this? – No grandfather I don’t wear flowery garland And I don’t have that habit “This is not for you, it is for your grandmother.” “It is valentine’s day – Yes, yes.” How will this be? Is it nice? – Yes “Okay, okay.” Nothing’s gonna change my love for you Nothing’s gonna change my love for you From where did you
get the thought of giving me a flowery garland? I knew that you would forget “But I have not forgotten, happy valentine day.” “Today is valentines day, that is…” That is why I was thinking that why are you giving me this flowery garland so lovingly Happy Valentine’s day How am I looking? – You are looking very beautiful We used to express on the auspicious day in our days “What can I do times have changed, modern times.” On valentines day when the boy tells his girl I love you Then even the girl does not refuse She accepts it and also says I love you What will Sameer say if he hears? – What? He will say that even my love should grow with life just like grandmother and grandfather “Tell me one thing, is Sameer really interested Niraali?” You are “No, she really a very nice girl Mangala.” “She is very nice, whosever house she goes.” He will be very happy “That means I will have ton propose to Niraali tonight, Hi.” “They are mad, they are saying that…” I should go and propose to the girl tonight “Is that possible? – No -Shall we sleep. – Yes, come on.” “He is right, going to a girl’s in the night.” That will make a very bad impression “Bad idea, we should go and sleep.” You go I will just finish my work – Come on Will we sleep together? – Come on Come on today is valentines day “Golmaal” “Golmaal” Niraali – All of here at this time What is all this? – Today is valentines day And it is already 12 o’ clock – So? So we have brought a gift for you You go -Go. – Here What is it? – Pickles You like grandmother’s hand made pickles very much That is why I brought it myself And also this Will you go? – No And this is from me. – What is it? – See it for yourself “Please, with love – Toilet paper.” You brought toilet paper for me If he brought this here then what will we I in the morning? You think what will you do? – Yes you are right You don’t see the toilet paper “See what is written on it, that is not a design.” “Yes, there is something written.” “Looks like a contract – Yes contract, contract.” “Look, when Nirrali when I will make my first film.” Then you will be the leading lady in it And there will be a complimentar air ticket for your mother And these two will be the villain in it Please keep it carefully. It’s my heart “Can I go? – Go, go nothing will happen.” Now what have you brought? Rat poison. – I want you to give it to me yourself And kill me – What? “Yes, this is not a living.” All night I cannot sleep
“If I try to sleep in the morning, I see you preparing food.” Taking care of grandfather and grandmother He wants a maid “When I go on the terrace, I see…” you drying your hair in the towel I cannot live like this You kill me by giving me this What are you doing? Why are you troubling Niraali for such a small thing “I am there, I will give you poison and kill you.” What are you saying? – I am helping my friend What is it now? – If you will give us an answer Then there would be – A settlement between us How can I give an answer in just a minute This is the question of my life I will do one thing I will come to your house at 2 o’ clock There I will say that who I love “It is 12:30 now, only one and a half hour left.” “We will wait, take your time, take your time.” “Not now, tomorrow afternoon 2 o’ clock, tomorrow.” We will have to wait for a long time Give it to back – Here Tomorrow when you come please bring the bottle of poison along If it is yes then they will use it “If it is no then I will use it – Yes, of course.” “Now bye. – Okay bye – Bye. – There, there.” “Please read the contract – Yes, yes I will read it.” “You, what are you doing here?” Since when did he start flirting with her? You have brought a cheque You want to buy Niraali You are even worse than them Does he even have an account? You have come to buy me “Get out I say get out – Get out, get out, get out.” What are all of you doing here? You also get out Get out of here God Since when did you start flirting with the girl? And what is the use of flirting with her Will you take him along for romancing her? I will not go – I only said You even started talking after seeing the girl “I wrote, that you did not know till today that I couldn’t speak.” That is why you misunderstood me I am not like you all Okay Mangala – What happened? What happened to your voice? – I am Sameer Didn’t you have sore throat? – Now it is fine It is fine? I thought that my wife has sore throat This old man is so boding! “If I give a raw mango to him, it will get converted into ripe mango.” Get rid of him! Niraali is going to come Grandpa – Yes Your walking stick – Walking stick? Why? Don’t you want to go out? – Out! No! Why are you sending me out? Somebody is coming? Who? Nobody! – I see! Niraali is going to come! He is blind and this is the state. If he was able to see Then I would have seen who is coming It implies Niraali is going to come “Now dear, I won’t go anywhere.” Wow! Let Niraali come “Grandpa, Niraali is not going to come.” I too used to get rid of my father like this “Father, go to temple Go to the temple.” Did you have a love marriage? “Yes, dear. It was the first love marriage of an independent India.” First one – What about grandma? Grandma too had a love marriage “No, you… how did you enticed grandma?” Entice… is a wrong word I mean to say how did you do that that expressing your love to grandma “Expressing love? That is an interesting story, dear.” Will it take time? “No, but you will have to hear it out.” I used to go to the jungle in the morning. At 6:30 There were no bathrooms at that time Fool! Not bathroom I used to go for a walk My destination was in the jungle
I see. Mangala in the jungle Shut up! And follow me! Grandpa’s love story is running too long Even Kumar Gaurav’s love story didn’t run so long Hey! How long will we have to walk? Hey! Walk quietly! Did I tell you to come in the flashback? “Yes, grandpa. What happened next?” “Then a turn came in my life, dear.” What are you doing? – Cow dung She looks like the heroine of an art movie But she is our lady. It’s just that she is looking young Do you come here everyday? You too pass this way everyday Why didn’t you come yesterday? Yesterday was Monday – Monday? The cow doesn’t give the dung on Monday? I go to the temple on Monday I have kept the fast of 16 Mondays My mother says that I will get a good groom if I fast for 16 Mondays When you have found Somnath then what is the need to fast for remaining 15 Mondays? Wow! He is flirting with her! “Why do you hover around me like a bee?” “Why do you glance at me so eagerly?” “Why do you hover around me like a bee?” “Why do you glance at me so eagerly?” “Are you crazy about me? – No.” “Are you some lover? – No.” “Are you crazy about me?” “Are you some lover.” “At least tell me what work do you have with me?” “Tell her that you love her.” “Why are you standing silently?” “If we had been at your place, we would have said it.” “Why do you hover around me like a bee?” “Why do you glance at me so eagerly?” “Why do you glance at my window?” “Why do you talk only about me?” “Why do you talk only about me?” “Why do you glance at my window?” “Why do you talk only about me?” “You come for my sake – No.” “You sing songs – No.” “You come for my sake.” “You sing songs.” “What lies in your heart? Only you know that.” “Don’t feel shy.” “Call her near you.” “If we had been at your place, we would have called her.” “Why do you hover around me like a bee?” “Why do you glance at me so eagerly?” “Why are you carrying a gold bangle in your hand?” “I will give it to you and take you to my courtyard.” “Will you make me your beloved? – Yes.” “Will you love me immensely? – Yes.” “Will you make me your beloved?” “Will you love me immensely?” “Today I say that I love you.” “After expressing it, where are you off to?” “You should have thanked me.” “I hover around you like a bee.” “I glance at you so eagerly.” “Are you crazy about me? – Yes.” “Are you some lover? – Yes.” “Are you crazy about me?” “Are you some lover.” “Today I say that I love you.” Then only did we get married
“This is the story of my love, dear.” Over? No! After marriage for the honeymoon Grandpa! – Yes Grandma had actually called you to the temple I think you have got bored “No problem, dear I will go to the temple.” But remember one thing in the matter of girls “Your muscular courage – Give us, God.” Brave or God “Yes. Grandpa is there otherwise. Good luck, dear.” “Thank you, grandpa.” “All the best – Thank you. Thank you, grandpa.” Don’t lose hope I will go and shave How many times will you shave? – “Not I, he is saying that.” Go ad open the door Who would have come at this hour? Niraali! Good Hello! – Yes Listen! – Yes I think I have seen you somewhere “No, you must have seen me from behind.” Many people think the same thing when they look at me from the back Listen to me! – I will send somebody! Whom will you send? Why don’t you look at me? I am looking at you. But since you too are turning around Okay! Okay! Okay! I will stop turning around But why don’t you show me your face? No! I can’t show my face to anybody! – What! Yes. I am going to become a father And I am still not married – What! I will go now. I have to go to the doctor At least tell me where has Somnath gone? He has gone to the temple! – He has gone to the temple! Why are you applying soap all over your face? You have hair all over your face? Great! At what strange places do people have hair growth! “Tell me, Somnath…” He too went to shave? “Golmaal. Golmaal.” Who is there? I am the dean of Vicky – college I want to meet Somnath Have you ever met Somnath? No. I have never seen him I have only heard about him I am Somnath. Tell me Really? You are But just now a boy said that you have gone to the temple He is my servant! I was going to the temple My wife’s broken sandals broke. So I came back I am blessed or meet you! Are you blind? Yes! So what will you do! Nothing! Nothing! I am sad to hear this I have heard a lot about you. A lot You were in the air force Then you became the advisor in our college after the retirement Of Sanskrit. Our entire college loves you a lot “Fine, fine. Have a seat – Thank you.” Be careful! – What happened? There is a table Are you really blind? Don’t you see that I can’t see! – I can see! Do you see the clock? – Yes Not that! This one! – I see! This one I can’t see it! – I can see it What’s the time? – 7:30 Not there! Here! It is 11:00! What’s the time! 12:00! 11:00! 11:00! I don’t know what the time is! – I can see it Now do you believe me that I am blind? Don’t beat me, sir! “Now tell me, what work did you have?” “Actually sir, our college has completed 50 years.” For that we have organized a function “I have come to personally invite you, sir.” What? What program is there? First there will be a dance of ‘Pooja’ (veneration) Who is Pooja? Who is Pooja? Pooja! Pooja! Archana! First decide whether it is Pooja or Archana! “Not girl, sir! Not girl!” That veneration of God! – Then? After that the drama that you had created for patriotism in Sanskrit A program of that. After that You spilt! You dare to spilt! After that a cultural program… cultural Don’t you have a beauty contest? – Beauty contest? Beauty contest! Fool! Beauty contest! I will ask the committee and let you know “Not committee, I want the commitment!” I want the commitment! Otherwise! – Who is there? I think there will be a snowfall
“Greetings, aunty. You too are blind? You too are blind?” Do you think that we both are playing ‘Black’ here? No. I thought that you both are playing white Where is the belt in your neck? It was hurting me. So I removed it But how did you know that I wear belt in my neck? I know everything about you! Aren’t you flirting with that Rosy ma’am? I will leave now You want to leave? Won’t you have a drink? I don’t drink! – You don’t drink? Fool! Even I don’t drink during the daytime “She is talking about tea! Tea! – Yes, talk.” You are asking me so lovingly. So please make tea Shameless! I am blind and you want me to make tea for you! Go and make tea for everybody! The kitchen is there! I don’t know how to make tea! Then why are you sitting here? Fine! Fine! I will leave! I will leave! Are you going there to beg! The way to go out is there! There! Okay! Get out! Fool! At least give the card! – Here You take this. – No! No! I don’t know how to read this book Read it with Rosy – No! No! Take it! Take it! You guys beat a not! Hail Mother Mary! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! I am Sameer calling from America. Who are you? Who are you? I am Pandu “Look, Mr. Pandu or whoever you are.” Tell my grandpa that I am returning form America today My flight will land at 1.30 in the night No need to come to the airport. I will come on my own What happened? Gopal, what happened? Sameer is coming – What! Sameer is coming! Sameer is coming! Everybody is saying the same thing! Did you see this! I had told you all! Someday we will get stuck because of him! I am leaving! I say that you all too pack your luggage and leave! How can we leave like this? We should find such a house too Where there are two old people! Both are blind! And they don’t have any relative! It takes time to find such a house! You guys are worried about the house! This might become a police matter! I will not listen to anybody! I am leaving! Shut up! Let me think! We will find of some solution! Box! -Box! – Box! It must contain something precious Yes. Like how they show in the movies “Open the box. And it contains jewels, diamonds and gold!” Are you planning to steal this? What? “No, Gopal! No, Gopal!” “Gopal, what are you doing?” “Madhav, explain to him! No, Gopal!” Have you guys gone mad! “The family that gave you love, and shelter” you will rob that Family We are not robbing the family. We are taking the box! You understand what I am trying to say! I think you shouldn’t steal! We are not stealing! We are checking! If we found something, then we will take the loan and then return it “Gopal, this is sin!” “Look, this door is also not opening! God too is saying no, Gopal!” “Listen to me! Gopal, no!” I see! It opens from that side! I still say that this is wrong! – This is right! “If it contains some treasure, then I will make a movie…” and I will sign all of you! “Buddy, first let me open it!” “Stop, dear. You will need the key to open it.” We… I was just looking at it I will tell you what it contains This is your compass box You were 6 years old when had insisted on it And look at this Gun. For ‘Diwali’ “You used to run all over the house, shooting the gun.”
And this is your car You used to roam the entire courtyard with this You used to play with this the whole day “What is this, grandpa?” Ashes Whose? Sameer My grandson was born in America We were craving to meet him “But 2 years ago, in an accident we lost our eyesight.” “With great courage, I told my son…” everything about our accident He couldn’t endure it And he left to come here along with my daughter-in-law and grandson He was driving to the airport in his car He met with an accident on the way Nobody survived My son… my daughter-in-law my grandson. Nobody I couldn’t tell Mangala this thing Otherwise she would have died Only I had to endure this shock My commissioner friend made arrangements to send me to America And there with my own hands I performed the final rites of my entire pedigree When I returned from America Mangala started asking me “…how is our grandson, how grown up is he, does he talk…” and have you told him about me? What would I have told him? What could I have told her? I didn’t have the courage to tell her the truth Everyday I used to say that I will tell her today I will tell her today “Then… on the day I decided, God send you as Sameer.” But I had realized that you are not one but two “And gradually I realized that you all are not 2, but 4.” But I had no qualms with your lie Because Mangala was very happy. She was very happy But… if you left now then God knows what she will go through She will shatter completely I am saying the truth What is left to shatter down? You… such a big betrayal! These… whoever they are I am not angry with them Because they are outsiders. But you! You… didn’t even let me perform the final rites of my children! I wanted to embrace Sameer if only for the last time On my lap You all… who are you all who gave you the right the right to play with an old couple’s emotions! You all have committed a grave sin! Such a grave sin for which there is no punishment in this world I have planned all this They are not responsible for all this. Only I am responsible
Consider it my mistake or immaturity that I came here But a greater mistake is that the love and family that I searched for all my life when I found that in you both then I couldn’t recognize that And I hurt both of you Whatever punishment you give… I accept it I love this old man Uncle has helped me a lot Give me the urn otherwise I will thrash you all so much that even the beggar will refuse to give you alms Why do you want the urn? Give me one chance to atone for my sins. Trust us. Laxman “Grandpa, come Come. Grandma, come.” “This way, grandma. Come, come.” You did the right thing by sending uncle inside What do you want? – The urn This? – Yes – Take it “Boss, these are the same 4 guys…” who had thrashed me thrice I have never seen him before Did you get thrashed at the wrong place? No! I swear on you, Babali Babali? Who? – He is the one Imagine! Gabbar Singh’s name in ‘Sholay’ is Sweetie Keep quiet! Fire! Don’t fire! I heard everything I swear on Sameer’s ashes I am with you guys in this fight So you have changed the side! Fire! Forgot to get the bullets! Forgot to get the bullets! “If the bullets are at home, then will you play hockey with this?” Thrash them! What are you staring at! Go up! Switch it on! “Golmaal.” “1, 2…” “Golmaal.” Gopal! Hang on! Hang on! Why are we fighting? You are not interested in the ashes. Do you want the urn? Yes! – Why? “Look, this matter is between us.” “Come, sir.”‘ “Excuse me, sir. You cannot go from here.”‘ Diamonds! -Diamonds! – Diamonds! “Hold this, boys!”
What have you done! “He asked for it, so I gave him – Fool!” Madhav! I have been searching for you guys since a long time! I have been running after you! Why do you want to ruin my career? Nobody comes to my garage My wife has refused to come back from her maternal house! “Please, return my money! Please!” I am really sorry You know I had come in the scorching heat without any slippers to return your money And you know what happened? – What? He robbed that money Really? Return his money! When did I steal it! I have jut met! Don’t act smart! Return the money! Who are you? The landlord! – Tell him Look! He is Mr. Vasuli And he is Mr. Babali! Babali! – Babali! We will tell him to tie us ‘Rakhi’ “Hey, Babali!” Babali! Why are you laughing! “Golmaal!” “Golmaal!” “Golmaal!” Who is it! Gopal! Grandpa! “Babali-, it doesn’t come out! It doesn’t come out!” “Gopal, what happened?” Sorry! Sorry! Blood! What a nice – Don’t touch it! – Okay! What happened? – He too “It’s really deep, man! – What happened?” “Everything is all right now. Come, commissioner sir.” Commissioner sir… I know what their punishment should be After seeing what they all have done all the four will live with us – What! Yes. You all four will live as the Shravan of these blind parents And Nadeem too – What? You all will receive your reward within 15 days Reward? For what? Reward because you all have nabbed a dangerous gangster and got the diamonds too So you will surely get the 10o/o of that Great! – My money! They see rich people and they start begging. Get out! “Greetings, grandpa Greetings, grandma.” You have come to take pickle in the hospital too “Grandpa, you too!” “Tell me, which naughty guy have…” you chosen from these 4 naughty ones? I am here. Where are you going? I don’t mind Lucky Doctor! But he can’t speak! I know that he can’t speak But I wanted such a husband who would listen only to me And he himself should remain silent Excuse me. Excuse me Do you have a sister? “Yes, I have. But she is 7 years old. Why?” We will have to wait for a long time “Golmaal!” Action! “Is something fishy!”
“We are troublesome, baby. We are great!” “Be careful! Be careful! Be careful!” “Otherwise we might lose the heart.” “Be careful.” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “Is something fishy!” “We are troublesome, baby. We are great!” “Be careful! Be careful! Be careful!” “Otherwise we might lose the heart.” “Be careful.” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “We want to put the money.” “We want to put the money.” “We want to put the money.” “We want to put the money.” “Neither the heart nor we are bad.” “What can we do if this world is bad.” “We teach them what they taught us.” “Let’s have some fun.” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “Is something fishy!” “We are troublesome, baby. We are great!” “Be careful! Be careful! Be careful!” “Otherwise we might lose the heart.” “Be careful.” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “Golmaal! Golmaal!” “Golmaal! Golmaal!”