The average film is always the same It’s some exaggerated catalyst which turns the existing world completely upside down which in turn, forces our so called hero, to enter into this new world of the unknown He then predictably reaches that infamous “all is lost” moment,” where there’s just no more hope But it’s how he deals with this moment, that gives the audience their emotional response This is not that kind of film [moaning] [Door slams shut] At any given time, there are over 300 active serial killers in the united states alone Many walk among us with complete anonymity Some of them may live in your neighborhood Some of them, you may even know And some of them, may actually be justified “You stupid fuck!” “You want a climax to your film?” “I’ll give you a climax” “And I’m gonna get the fucking credit” “Try to edit that!” My name is Travis Simon This is my story Sort of [Rock and Roll music] [phone rings] [ANSWERING MACHINE] “This is Lane, leave a message” [beep] [VOICE ON MACHINE] “Little turd! You’re so dead you don’t even know it” “C’mon boy, bring it! Bring it!” [laughing] “Ahh, what’s up man?, it’s Trav with your wake-up call again”
“but you’re not picking up so, I don’t know “guess I can see you when you get into work” Hey, good morning! How are you doing? Yea, yea last night was awesome Hey Buddy! C’mere! Yeah Yes I gotta drop the stuff at the film set later tonight and I’ll give you a call after Yea, I’ll try to talk to him then All right Love you too See ya Jack! [phone ringing] [ANSWERING MACHINE] “This is Lane, leave a message” [beep] [Voice on machine] “This is officer Jarvis from the Dept or corrections, trying to reach Lane Mitchell Hayes” “You missed your last two appointments with the department and are required by law to appear before the court” “or you will be on violation of your parolle” “Please contact the department within 48 hours or there will be a warrant for your arrest Thank you.” Where the hell is it? [screamming] You think you can take my coke? Was it you plan? Wait till I was asleep? Where ya going? Please, no! I’m not done yet Ginger Leave me alone! C’mon baby I know you’ll like it Open the door Leave alone! Open the door Open the door! Hello? I need help!…Hello?
Yes, so you guys want one sixty- millimeter non-sync film camera, two wide-angle, you want two? two wide-angle adaptors?” Hey it’s Lane, sorry I didn’t call you back, uhh, I was out Dude, are you kidding me?” -Any change for food? -No, just eat that! Jeez, man! -Spare change? -NO! Bless you Ah, yeah, everthing here looks good…watch your head guys! OK, good So, everything is set We have the three-ton grip package, four HMI’s, tripod, steady-cam dolly which we’ll give fifty feet of track for it, ah, also a twenty-two-inch HD Director’s Monitor Ok Great. What about power? Ah, ah…Jake, we still got that genny, right? Ah, Richard found a buyer for it, but we can keep it till we close OK good. So, you will get power, which is good. Ah, we’re also gonna give you -six long-range walkies, and four private radios -Sounds good Dad, can we get some lunch? Yes sweetheart, as soon as we’re done here -Hey Travis, Harry just dropped this off for you -Oh, excellent -Is this it? -This is it -Alright -Why didn’t you call to wake me up? -Yea, I tried calling Called at 6:30, 7:30 and 8:30 Alright, so this’s it This is what you’ve been waiting for. This is the vest What you can do in your film, your actor can wear this Pay attention, this is the rig This my partner, Harry Hawke designed this This is the pack you wear for the actors when you do the stab scene Now what it does, it goes over the shoulders, comes around the waist, Cool thing about this though it’s invincible. So if you stab it with a knife, the blade can’t go through your actor’s always protected So now you can get the wide shot of the knife going in and it’s beautiful Ah, when you’re done, reload your blood pack, and, you guys are ready to reshoot -Incredible. Let’s do it -Excellent Ok, so, here’s your list here. Go through the inventory make sure everything’s on here, we haven’t missed anything You know what’s not written there? Crazy hooker last night Also that your PO called the office again this morning? Yeah, I know. Left a message I don’t care. Whatever Sleep through that one? That’s funny. None of this matters. You know why it doesn’t matter? This place is going under guys in 30 days And I’ve got 30 days to find a new job And if I don’t, guess what happens? I go back to jail That’s where all the big boys if we break the law. How’s that sound? Yea See, I got arrested for beating the crap out of a prostitute While dealing cocaine Well, it wasn’t just cocaine, it was the funner stuff: meth, crystal, crank, speed, glass Mr. Wolff, I’m sorry Dude, seriously? Really? Is that what you want to do this morning? -Yea, I’m doing it Why not? -That’s ok I’m sorry. Wait. I don’t want to direct or offend and the Director here is making a movie right? Sorry -Let me tell’ya something -Yeah? I don’t like the way you talk around my daughter Do you understand that? Show some respect -She’s 15-years old -You know what? Touching You felt me. Right here. In fact why don’t you cry me some tears, Mr. director? why don’t you go direct an “After-School Special?” Thanks a lot I’ll have my guys pick this Pick up the stuff afternoon -I appreciate it -I appreciate it. Thanks Mr Wolff. I am sorry -C’mon, let’s get something to eat -Sorry about this We all appreciate it Everything you’re doing out there -Dude, that’s one of our biggest clients here. Why are you doing this? -Oh well, oh well Dude, get me some food I’m starving right now Seriously, that’s why I act this way I had a bite of a roll out there. Some Black homeless guy, -Candyman looking-guy scared the crap out of me -Hola. Hola Hi, Pizza, can I get something to go please? No esta Travis. No? donde esta? No No, no. Necesito, necesito ahora -What does that mean? -Shut up [loud bell] -Can you take this please? -Yeah, I got it. I got it. ok -No! Ahora, ahora Right, so we got the chroma key for you, and you wanted, was it, four, four animation stands? Yep. Just tell your guy to bring his truck back. Pick it up Alright, thanks [phone beep] -Hey buddy – Yea? – Yeah, come to the front and help me out for a minute? -Travis, hey, this here is -Susan Lanier! -Yeah Ah, I actually studied you in film school Excuse me? I’m sorry, I didn’t study you, I studied Hills Have Eyes
We watched Hills Have Eyes You played Brenda in the movie This is…this is, wow! You know, the first film you did actually got an X rating when it first came out, because of the scene that you did, they had to recut the entire thing just to get an R so it could be released in theaters I’m sorry You know we, I had a meeting with Richard to go over the inventory list Richard’s out of town I’m Travis Simon. Hi -It’s nice to meet you -Nice to meet you I’m acting manager, so whatever you guys need, I can help you out with You know Suze is actually directing a film called Deadpan and, Gabby Stone’s gonna be starring in it -It’s actually Gabrielle -Yeah, whatever Um, are you in any way related to Dee Wallace Stone? Yea, that’s my mom -That’s pretty cool -Who’s Dee Wallace Stone? Ah, Dee Wallace Stone, played the mom in E.T I never saw that, what is that? Uh, what the fuck is the matter with you? Wow, really? -So, Deadpan right? Is that -Yes, uh huh Sure Oh, ah…Oh wow! you guys are actually shooting on 35 film That’s, that’s great Yeah, you know it’s really the only way to do it right Do it right huh? Is that what you’re doing these days, doing it right? You still, active? Active? Like physically? Well yeah, I do yoga, do jogging No I mean physically as in sexually, like this shit You get that on? -Hey, you know what -Gabrielle -No, It’s fine To actually work in this business, it pays to have a little bit of class and act professional Act professional? Are you serious? First of all that’s bull-shit In this business it pays to sleep with someone higher on the food chain -Great! -You know, it’s really too bad Thatabout the younger…now generation of film-makers and what they have become You know, they have no respect for the craft, none whatsoever because it’s so easy to do this, and any idiot with a digital camera can call themselves a film maker Wow, you know is this lecture Lane day? That’s great! you guys are like part time psychologists? I don’t like that Ok, first of all I have a nice tip for you: there’s the door, how’s that sound, you like that? Why don’t you just tell Richard that we stopped by and uh, have him call me, ok? We’ll tell good old Dick you stopped by We’ll tell everyone here in the office you stopped by for Dick How’s that sound huh? Let’s get out of here Let’s Fucking asshole! Oh yea, “It’s a walk off It’s a walk off Remember that movie? Seriously? -Yeah -Seriously? -What? -You know I had to beg Richard -Ah, da da da! I hate that stupid story, I know You had to beg him, you thought I would be an assest -Yea, I thought you might be an asset -Yea, so? Doesn’t matter In about three weeks we’re gonna be jobless anyway -Why not go out in style? -Yea, I think you’ll go out in style I know I will I just did. You won’t. Pansy Hi. Grow some balls. I have church bells, you have tic- tacs. How’s that feel? Great huh? -Wow -Yeah exactly. Oh by the way, I saw you looking at Gabby You like her, don’t you? -Seriously? -Yea that’s why I went for the other one, give you a chance for once Man up. How does it feel to not be a man? Yeah, exactly -I like brunettes -Oh ok. Good excuse. I like red heads too, but guess what? Where’s the light stand? Going up! I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing here With all these chicks around, this director is trying to make himself a cameo put himself in the movie I guess the director can do whatever he wants, right? Yea, If you’re Alfred Hitchcock Sounds like something Lane would do I don’t know why you keep that guy around Don’t worry about me I’ve got him under control Aren’t you shooting video? Richard wants to document all this I’m taking stills Who’s doing video? -Hey ladies! -Hey -Hey We’re doing a little, kind of behind the scenes DVD Kind of bonus footage, you get bored one night, you wanna stick something in, you know? Cool -Nice. You guys seem pretty comfortable on camera -Yeah -You guys ever work together before? -No, first time -first time -First time for everything right? -I guess so Good attitude, I like it I love it. You guys look really OK, Swimsuit ladies, I’m gonna need you. Now. Let’s go Now Roundin’ Up No, no, no! What the hell are you doing? This is supposed to be a professional set! It’s just a camera setting. Look in your monitor.It’s fine! Jesus, I know how to film What’s wrong man? Look at this guy this director. He knows nothing about film making Nothing. He can’t set up a shot, he can’t direct an actor. He doesn’t know anything about it But someone gave him all this money to make this big hot-rod car movie, and he hires these good looking people with tits and ass, and he thinks he’s got something special Dude Tits and ass, that’s kind of, that’s pretty special I’m just saying These girls let me tape them Thought I was part of the production Hey Lane
How’s it going? You get some good footage of the girls? I thought you would be shooting the guys with your prison background and everything But I guess you didn’t really see that many guys, right? In prison, face down in the pillow, teeth full of pillow Yea, nice head-lamp fuck-stick. Who’s taping girls? I am Ooh, speaking of taping girls, you gotta see the prostitute I taped last night Hot! [loud sex sounds] [phone rings] Hey, what’s up? Did you watch it? Uh, yeah, I’m watching it right now What did you think? She’s pretty hot, huh? There is absolutely no cinematic value in anything that you shot, alright? She doesn’t even stay in frame. This is absolutely ridiculous Yeah, but she’s hot right? Ah, yeah. Yeah. I guess so What are you doing right now? I’m working on a film project Really? Yeah, after being on that set tonight, I started thinking about it, you know, and and really, really reliving the movies like Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity and how they made those movies for absolutely nothing They shot them on these cheap little video cameras and I just you knonw, thought you know maybe I could do something like that Where the hell you gonna find actors? You know, maybe, maybe get real people and just scare them or something I mean we have all the equipment in our warehouse to make whatever we want Why don’t we just borrow some of that gear and do that We? Well, I could use some help on this -I don’t know – Look, with everybody Richard knows in distribution around town, I’m sure we could get this thing sold and, you know, probably make some pretty good money, if that’s something you would be interested in Yeah, I will take the money wherever I can find it -If you are down, man let’s just talk about it in the morning – Cool -Alright, talk to you then Oh wow, you are actually on time today Alright, I have been giving this a lot of thought I really think that our idea of the movie can work, but we gotta put a little more thought into it We can’t just run and scare somebody, because that’s not a movie If we figure out a way to make this come full circle, maybe throw in a few twists, things like that That’s what wins an audience, that’s what makes it marketable, that’s what we have to do, I mean if we had a girl in the middle of a room and we run in with a sheet on our head or a knife, ohhhh, I mean, that’s not going to work We need to get our angles right so when the shoot gets out of frame then we can have our sound effects of the screamming, we can have the blood, the knife coming through the frame, whatever to make it look real So I was thinking about it last night, I wrote this script, I think that OK, Hold on, stop, wait just for a second Look I know you are thirty steps ahead of everybody at all times, I get that, but this time…just stick a camera in the corner somewhere and capture it raw You can’t go raw for this, It’s not going to work Hey girls -How you doing? -Good -Did you get some coffee? -Did you get some breakfast? -Yeah Yeah, because I haven’t had breakfast I have been here working, ok? I got this whole list, of things, I gotta do today ‘Cause I am at work, that’s what I am doing, ok? This isn’t the parole board, OK? It’s not work furlough! We work here. That’s what we do. It’s a business Alright, yeah OK. Got it And just ’cause you are the boss here for the next couple of weeks,…just joking [laughing] Just joking. But I’m serious We gotta lot of stuff to do and I need you helping me -I got it -And I’m doing it all by myself -Got it, yeah so, if you could help, that would be great That’s what you are here for. Is to work Guess what, you said that Got it. Got it Alright, so I will see you in about 10 seconds 9, 8, 7, 6 I fucking hate that guy Wow, step up from your place, huh?
Figured I’d treat my best girl right [coughs] Ah! Same shit you had last time I got to introduce you to my guy Alright I’ll be right out What are you doing? She’s gonna see you in here What the hell you want me to do? this isn’t exactly a film set here You can’t be in here Where am I supposed to go? There’s no place else to film I gotta hide behind a stupid curtain Are you kidding me? How am I gonna make a movie out of that? Trust me, I know what I’m getting with this girl You capture it on tape, don’t worry about what the fuck I’m gonna do I know how to scare a prostitute You get it on tape Now, get in there, on tape now. Now! What’s wrong? Dick not work today? You are still dressed Yea, I know Usually you’re like ready to cum the second I walk in the door I know, I just, today is just a little different You know. I just You’re gonna get undressed or should I just stand here? No I’m good, I’m good I already got my money so it’s up to you sweetie -You ready? -Yea -Yea, you sure? -Yeah [loud music playing nextdoor] Hold on what? [loud music continues] Sorry about that dude Sorry! Can I help you? You’re loud Oh I’m sorry man, we’ll try and keep it down a little Hey guys can we keep it down a little? We are working next door, I may [music playing louder] He’s back. Shh! guys, he’s back Shhh! [knock on door] Roy, what are you gonna do? [in a girl’s voice] Who is it? Shhh! [all laughing] Yes, can I help you? We’re working. I need you to keep it down, understood? -Yeah -What? Hu? -Yes! -Hey, what the hell? -One more step it’s your last hippy We clear? Yes sir. We’ll keep it down Hey turn it off! Turn off the music. Turn it off! You are gonna fuckin’ tape me without telling me? huh? Is that your game mother fucker? You put this shit online so you can make some money? Is that your plan? Yeah, slut cam A. That’s really fuckin’ cute Really fuckin’ cute! Fuck you! Fuck you! I’m not a God damn fucking porn star I’m a professional call girl Don’t ever call me again! and you know, if you wanted to tape me, even include him,
all you had to do was ask I’m not gonna talk about this anymore Look, I know you are good at running camera, but we can’t just run around shooting stuff I will take care of tomorrow night It’s a little ghetto around here, I know Why are we coming this way? Just. Listen, just bear with me You’re taping this, right? Yeah At least now you know why we can’t get somebody that we already know It’s not going to work. I mean, I don’t have a problem getting a prostitute or something That’s fine, but At least that way, we know we can scare her That’s why we’re here I thought we were supposed to start down on 17th street No, this place is much better [smash on window] Ah! Jesus! Fuckin’ relax! We’re locked in What do you expect? Look where we’re at Why are you turning down here, man? Nobody’s down here Yeah, there are. Just gotta know where to look -What are you talking about? -Just trust me I do this enough, more than I should Ah, yes, yes, yes! What did I say? Roll the window down Roll it down Well, hey there cutie School get out early today? Nice Hi. Can we can we have some sex? -Whoa! -Dude, dude Hold on there sweetheart We’re just out looking for dates It’s dates. It’s code word Not sex, dumbass Which I never understood why you call it dates. There’s no dating. No ones dating We’re fucking. That’s all we’re doing. You know that I’m Lolita and this here’s Tanqueray Shit. How old are you? I’m 18 Are you kidding me? Are you guys ok being videotaped? Yeah, just extra charge. Girl on girl -Whatever, yeah -Watch out Do we have a problem here, fellas? Ah, no we don’t We’re good. We’re sorry -We were just talking -You were just talking? Well this shit ain’t for free. You understand me? You know what? My bad We’re out here -You do that -OK -Go the other motherfucking way! -I know. I know Move this piece of shit! -What’s the matter with you? -Owww! Jamal, you’re hurting me Pick up the camera Pick up the camera What are you doing? What are you doing? Stop! Ahhh! My leg My leg. I think you broke my leg, man! What are you hey! ahhh! Come on man, just chill out Gonna point a gun at me? hu? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, man Come on man. Relax -Shut up! -I’m sorry -Ahh come on, come on, come on! -That’s what I thought -Chill! Lolita! Tanqueray! Punk ass, thinks he’s tough Here, hold the gun Fuck! Where the fuck are ya’ll at? Fuck! Fucking bitches! [dogs barking at a distance] Well, that didn’t go according to plan
Oh really. You think? We gotta get out of this fucking neighborhood Shit! Just calm down We didn’t do anything wrong You want to put that under the seat Don’t say a word Let me talk to the guy Would you roll your window all the way down sir? Let’s see your license and registration, please? What is the nature of your inquiry, Sir? License and registration, please Ah, no sir, we don’t have to show you license and registration until you tell us the nature of the inquiry Sir, I’m speaking with this gentleman right here And I am very politely speaking with you too here, Officer, Underhill? Sir, put the video camera down It’s actually my first amendment constitutional right, sir to video tape you and all interactions with you as it is a form of free expression Sir It’s also CA state Civil Code 120477, which if you read your manual, and I believe at some point, you were required to do that, it is not required for a citizen to show any form of identification to any officer of the law unless first given that nature of the inquiry and since you have yet to provide us with any significant reason, you’re acting outside the Constitutional fold of government Therefore Officer Underhill, we do politely decline to show you our license and registration Sir I pulled you over because you’re a suspicious vehicle in a known gang neighborhood Are we suspicious because we’re two caucasian males driving in a non- caucasian neighborhood? No. Sir You have still yet to provide us with any reason on the nature of inquiry on why you have stopped us But if we are in a known gang neighborhood as you say we are, then you may really wanna rethink your next few moments Because as we’re sitting in this truck all safe and sound, here you are, an officer of the law, standing out there unprotected and there maybe someone around here who just wants to take a shot at you So, it’s your call Officer Underhill I want you two to be on your way Yes sir Yes sir Oh shit! Dude, that was awesome! How do you know all of that California State Code shit? I don’t I just made it up Yeah, right! Evidently, he doesn’t know it either Hey, don’t worry That cop can’t do shit He knows we have him on film We can post it online You act like this isn’t even a big deal This is the fun part We have a cop, hookers a pimp getting run over by a truck, what more do you want? I wanna direct! Just let me be the one to pick out the girl Let’s do it! [rock music playing] Ooh, ooh, look right there! Look, look Right there. Right there Right there!
Du bist spaet Wir ein…umm, uh wir habin ein problem gehabt What? what is that? What’d she say? I think…she asked if we want dates? OK, yeah, yeah We want dates OK, ask her, right now, if she works alone or if she has some crazy-assed pimp holding her chain Ask her. Say it I do work alone and no, I don’t have crazy ass-pimp holding chain “Ass-pimp.” I like her. Umm How much for a date with him for tomorrow night? You mean how many roses I like on first date? Stupid code word for.. yeah, yeah OK, 75 roses, ok, tomorrow night? ohh…You waste my time! Hold on, ok, Hold on -Dude, she’s -I know that I know. Stop. Hold on I know that. This is what I do Let me do my thing. I’ll take care of this Hey. Hey! Don’t walk away Come here Look, in America, this is how we do things I give you an offer, you give one back. It’s called negotiating sweetheart I don’t play game Two hundred roses I do anything you want Two hundred roses -I’ll do it -You sure? -I’ll cover it Two hundred “Roses” tomorrow Where do we meet you? Tomorrow night, come here Nine O’clock Bring cash We have a fun date Oh yeah, oh yeah! Oh, I want to hit that I didn’t know you speak German A little You can’t be seen because she’s expecting to be with me Just let me think about this and figure it all out What the hell are you so nervous for? She’s a prostitute She’s going to like you regardless. You paid for her I just don’t know why I have to be the one to do this Because I’m the one doing the scaring Yeah! and we saw how well that went last time Right, you didn’t scare her I sure as hell didn’t scare her She punched me in the face Every big horror movie has got like a larger than life bad guy You got like Freddie, Jason, Leatherface You have these guys that do the job I think we gotta find somebody like that We gotta find some some big, dark, scary something to come out and do this OK, where you going to find this person now? We have 15 minutes til you’re meeting your girl I don’t know. There’s all kinds of shady people walking around the warehouse There’s got to be someone who can do it I got it I know just the guy I got it You sure about this? Ah yeah. I’m the only one with the keys so we should be OK What’s with the plastic? Oh! uh, they’re going to be painting in here, so we should be alright Alright So, its $200 for an hour? Yeah Good Ah, here
[music playing] Yeah Is it OK if I am filming you? It’s your hour baby Have you ever been on camera before? No We’re good, right? You know what you’re doing? Hey! We’re good, right? Hey! Yeah “Yeah” we’re good or “yeah” you don’t know what we’re talking about? Yeah Look, let’s try this Look at me, I look at you We communicate…hey, Hi! We look at each other We communicate. That’s what goes on here Take this I want you to walk in there You’re gonna waive it around You’re gonna scare the shit out of her, right? -Like in the movies? -Shhh!…What? What? What? Are you hearing anything I’m saying? What did we agree on? I’m gonna give you one hundred dollars cash You’re gonna be a big movie star after this. Is that good? Is that getting through? OK, now look. I can’t go in there. I can’t get in the shot But I’m going to watch right here on that monitor It’s Look scary, whatever You smell like shit! Seriously Are you ready? Go. Now, now, now. Go! [screams] Are you kidding? [screams continue] I’m going to go lock up in the back [Tap on window]
Excuse me sir, can I help you? Uh, no I work here I don’t have anyone scheduled here for tonight What’s your name? Lane… Lane Hayes I work for Richard We’re all done I’m just waiting for my buddy to lock up We ran a little behind, um, tonight Just Sir, it’s 4:30 in the morning If you guys are going to be in after hours you need to fill out a security work order so we know you’re here We don’t want someone accidentally getting shot Yes sir We’re all cleaned up Let’s go Mr. Simon Working late tonight? Yeah [voice on walkie-talkie] “All units, we have a possible vagrant siting outside Building 12” I’m on it OK gentlemen, have a nice evening OK, let’s get out of here Go You want a hand with that? No I got it When the tide rolls in, it should take the body out with it We’ll be alright If you think so This looks so real That’s because it was real What do you want to do now? I don’t know I don’t know, I mean I mean, we didn’t do anything Right? I mean we didn’t do anything It was the guy. The guy came in there The guy came in there, with a knife and slit her throat He came there man, and slit her throat, gosh, just God! why did you tell him to come in there and slit her throat? I didn’t tell him to do anything! I told him wave the knife around and scare her That’s what I said Yeah, he did He scared her and he killed her We didn’t do anything We’re ok We’re ok We gotta call the cops on this Ok, calm down Think this thing through I am thinking it through What are you going to tell the cops? We paid some deranged homeless man to put a knife up to the neck of some prostitute, and then tape it for fun, and then he slices her throat and then you wanna drop the body off into the ocean? We dumped her body, ok? We are accomplices to murder I’m on probation If I even sneeze in the wrong direction
I go to jail for a long time That’s not gonna happen We covered our tracks We’re fine! We’re not gonna to get caught Tell me you didn’t feel that rush? That adrenaline! A dead body in the back of a truck with a security guard right there and then us driving all over town knowing that any second we can get caught, but we didn’t That’s a fucking rush and you know it! No drug can fix that, no high, no pill, no needle can ever top that! I know you fucking felt that! It’s a prostitute She’s a bad person Nobody’s gonna miss a bad person a diseased-filled hooker She’s already dead in the inside Hell, we did her a favor, she’d probably thank us So, where do we go from here? We’re in this now I say we finish the game Your directorial debut has to be big We have big I’m going to say it again: Finish the game [phone rings] -“Five Star Releasing” -Adam Phillips please – Just a moment -This is Adam -Hey Adam, this Travis Simon I work with Richard over at the film warehouse Hey, Hey Travis how you ding he mentioned you’d be calling. How are ya? I’m doing well, ahh I’m actually directing a film right now and Richard thought it might be a good idea if I get a hold of you and maybe talk about some distribution when we’re all done No, absolutely, why don’t you tell me a little about the film Where’s my plastic? Who took my plastic down? Todd, did you take my plastic down? I didn’t touch your shit man What’s the matter with you, bro? Mike? Did you take it down? I didn’t take your shit man It was down when I got here this morning Chill man! It wasn’t the fuckin tooth-fairy was it? Travis had me come in here yesterday, clear all this crap out of here, and hang plastic It took me a hour and forty five minutes We’re supposed to be painting in there today Dude go, go get it, hang it back up then -Lane? -Huh? -Did you take my plastic down? No, need some help putting some up? I guess Ahh, whatever Ok that sounds really good Well, I’ll tell you what when you are near completion, why don’t you give me a call? I’ll have you come on in We’ll sit down, we’ll talk and we’ll take it from there -Yeah that sounds good, -Thank you You got it, I look forward to meeting you You as well, ok bye Nobody wants to work around here anymore! Richard selling the business Nobody cares anymore I get it It’s Stupid You know what? I also wanna tell you, that if I’ve been a dick, I just want to say I’m sorry because you know, I’m just stressed out I don’t, I don’t know what I’m going to do I don’t have a job lined up I’m not sitting around waiting to lose my job I have shit lined up Like what? Travis and I, shooting a movie What’s so funny? Why wouldn’t we? Everything we need is right here Coming in late at night, shooting scenes -Seriously? -Yeah What’s it about? It’s a horror thriller Travis wrote it It’s actually bad ass Sucks though, our lead actor bailed out last minute, so we have to find another actor Well, you know I’m an actor, right? Yeah, ok bro You and everybody else in LA No, I’m a real actor I’ve taken classes and everything I did a movie like three years ago with the Beav -With Jerry Mathers? -Yeah! -Are you serious? -Yeah -Was he cool? -Yeah, he was awesome -You got to meet him?
Yeah! I did a scene with him and everything Nice! That’s why, that’s why I got a job here ’cause I thought, you know, meet some people in the business You any good? Yeah I mean I can do the full range of emotions I’ll do it I mean I’ll, I’ll even work for free I don’t know. It’s a serious, it’s a death scene Ok, look Why don’t you come in tonight? We’ll put you on camera and see how it looks And I’ll show it to Travis and see what he thinks Ok Ok…Alright So, I’ll meet you, I’m gonna home and change now, and I’ll meet you here later Ok, whatever Are you fuckin kidding me? Who the fuck are you bro! -What the fuck is that? -Stop! Just listen -Hold on Hold on! -I don’t care. I don’t make enough for this! -You know I’m trying to I don’t make enough for this! I don’t make enough for this, you peeping-tom, dick-touching, mother- fucker! So, uh, you need help with anything? No, you’re the talent. You just need to worry about the acting OK I like your setup You got enough light in here? Ah…yeah So, how do we do this? Do you have a script? Yeah, I just figured we go ahead and, you know, improv this and see how that goes if that’s ok? Yeah sure Do you want me to slate? Say my name and profiles? Oh yeah, slate, yeah Ok Hi. I’m Jake Anderson I’m auditioning ah, I don’t have an agent ah, I’m auditioning for, what, what’s the movie name? -Ah, Cut -Ok, I’m auditioning for “Cut!” In this scene, ah, your character’s actually tied up so, I mean, if you want to add to the realism, to be tied up -Yeah, ok. Sure -Ok -Why don’t we, just use these? -Ok You want me to tie my feet? Yeah I think I’m gonna need help with, uh, this one -Oh!, that’s kinda tight -Yeah. Be right back -OK Yes, I’m bringing talent to makeup right now And tell them to bring me a quesadilla. I haven’t eaten yet -Watch it! What the hell is your problem? -Sorry bro Hey. Um, production wants to know what happened to the other 1k light I don’t know I thought we got everything I’ll check the truck [Text message] “Where the hell are you?” We only got four What’s going on? This is the killer Looks pretty good, right? Who is that? -Wait a second, that’s that homeless guy from out back! -Yeah It’s a low budget film We have to get actors that work for cheap -What’s he gonna do!? -He’s gonna come at you, so act natural, OK? Go! -Wait a second -Get Him! -Wait a second! I don’t like this! Wait! Hey! Hey! Get in there right now! You fucking slice his fucking throat! You’re a movie star Aren’t we supposed to go over this? Go over like safety stuff? You son-of-a-bitch! I fucking paid you! I don’t fucking like this! I don’t fucking like this! Let me the fuck outa here! Let me out of this! We’re making a movie Hey! Let me the fuck outta here, motherfucker! Let me outta the chair! Oh, ohh…oh [panting] You stabbed me! Oh…shit Oh shit
Oh, shit! Let me out! Let me out! We’re making a movie Oh, stop! Augh! Augh!! Augh!!! Aaugh, augh, aaugh That’s it [laughing] We’re making a movie! Hey, hey, hey! Want a treat? Want a treat? Ready? Ooh, where is it? It’s right here You want a treat? Come on, come on, come on Jack! [News on TV] And now we have an update on the disturbing news in North Hollywood where earlier today, a body was found dumped inside a large trash bin of a local business Police and crime scene investigators have been on the scene all morning trying to make sense of everything everything We now go live on the scene to Christina Calderon with the latest we are here live only a few hours after a local drifter discovered a decapitated man’s body inside a large dumpster Earlier today, I spoke with the man who only wanted to be referred to as Terry I was cleaning up the city getting cans and bottles and get a little bit a food, place to stay I went to that can over there, opened it up and I just There was this person in there with his head chopped off! It scared me man! I gotta get outta here And Tracy, the most disturbing part is that the body was found several blocks away from Saint Paul’s Elementary School, which has many parents very nervous I think everyone that I’ve spoken to were just shocked You just don’t expect this to happen in your community I mean, I know there are people out there that are sick and they’re crazy, You don’t expect them to be right here I was walking past this area this morning when I took my daughter to school It’s just shocking At the moment police have locked down the scene and are still looking for clues Residents, especially those with small children, are advised to stay home after dark Back to you in the studio [On TV] Well folks, we do have pretty severe weather moving in as you can see here on our radar Lots of heavy patches of rain moving into the L.A. basin Some areas are gonna see 2-3 inches of rain Mountains ah, looking at snow at the very high elevations and it’s time to get out your galoshes Ah, This’s probably going to last the next 18 to 24 hours and then start clearing up and we can get back into our bathing suites Back to you Tracy Never been here before Jamal would kill me if he knew I was here with you right now He’s not gonna find out I can’t believe you hit him with that truck! [whimpering]
[screams] No sugar, right? What’s the matter with you? Those flickering lights were insane really I know they were so bad on my eyes [music playing] [singing country music]
[On the TV] We’re having some pretty strong storm activity over greater Los Angeles We’re gonna have thunder and lighting Some possible showers here and there and it’s gonna make for some very interesting weather and sometimes dangerous in certain areas So be careful out there That’s the weather back to you Tracey [On the TV] Two headless female bodies were found early this morning and police are now saying this could be the work of a possible serial killer There is however speculation that today’s findings could be the result of a possible copy-cat Police are urging anyone with information to contact the crime report hot-line right away [crying] Help! Help me, please help me! Hey Lane, what the hell are you doing, man? You wanted her in the film, I got her in the film Help! please help me! We don’t have to pay her What are you saying? I can’t hear what your saying right now What is that? Something about being classy and professional, is that what your fucking saying? Enunciate what the fuck your saying! -Go To Hell! -Fuck yeah! I’ll be first in line you fucking bitch! You wanted a legitimate actress for this film to make it work. That’s what I got Please Travis! Please help me! This is insane! Man, You can’t do this I know I can’t. That’s why you need to be here right now You nned to do this right now Do a cameo. Get in here right now. Stephen King does it, so why don’t you do it? Travis, please! You don’t have to do this. I’ll do your movie! I’ll do whatever you want! Please! just get me down You have no fucking choice! You’ve got a front row seat to your own death-bed you fucking bitch! You know what? I fucking like that! Do it again, right in my mouth -I wanna see you make a fucking death-film right now Get the fuck in here now! You know what? That movie ET? I rented that shit. I rented it Try phoning home now bitch! Nooo! Help me! Help me! What do you think, huh? Joe, What do you got?! Oh, fuck!
Fuck! Fuck!! [Dogs barking] Yeah, everything’s all set
No, I agree, between the tripod cam and the ones we got in the ceiling, I really think we’ve got everything covered Yeah, no, the meeting with the film office guy went really well In fact, he wants to meet again next week Hopefully, we can go ahead and finalize Yeah, I just picked up the footage so that I can finish the edit I’m just worried about the ending though No, I’m gonna meet her as soon as I leave here tonight [loud slam] I don’t know Let me call you back Yeah, that’s a good idea You’re going to close the deal without me? Is that your plan? How you doing Lane? You know, the first time you kill someone, it may not be as easy as you think to get over I still have dreams about it You know, you do it a couple more times, it becomes a little easier That is true, what they say Sit down Sit down, Travis You think you’re a pretty smart guy, huh? You know, in the beginning we talked about making a movie You know, scaring people Making it look real Things changed a little bit, huh? You know, in the end, it kind of became real Yeah Then it became real convenient for you Now I’m the one taking the chances I’m the one making shit happen Oh, and I love your whole surveillance camera thing That was genius You didn’t think I saw that, huh? So, what? Are you just gonna shoot me? What? Cheat the audience? No way So where do we go from here? You wanna burn me? You think you can burn me? Now, it’s your turn to burn [screams] [laughs] Come on man, that’s the best you got? Come on Lane, the cameras are rolling, man! Oh, I’ve got a lot more than that, as you’ve already seen Yeah, that’s right I’ve seen it I couldn’t have done this without you You are my star What the hell you talking about? Come on Lane, you, you really think it’s a coincidence, huh? That you, an ex-con with a prison record and a history of violence towards women would actually get hired here? Or that you just happen to meet these random people who could solve all of your problems -Are you kidding me? -Spare change for food? -No! eat that!” Harry Hawke. And this is my assistant Chloe Jo
She just finished making a film in Germany Did you pick up any German while you were there? Du bist spaet Wir habin ein problem -I saw you looking at Gabby You like her, don’t you? -I like brunettes I think she asked if we want dates? OK, yeah, yeah. We want dates You set me up Yeah! I couldn’t afford actors I couldn’t afford some elaborate production, but I didn’t have to because you did that for me You were my prostitute You were my bitch And I didn’t have to pay you a dime And I didn’t have to pay you a dime! No bull shit! I saw her die? Fuck you, man! No. No, you didn’t You saw what I wanted you to see ,You saw exactly what I placed in front of you, for you to think Camera off! You alright? Yeah Go! Is this my first time on camera? -I think we both know the answer to that one! -Yea, I love you Let’s get the scarf off Go! That’s what it does man! What the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes! You want a hand with that? I got it You gave me everything I need to get this film sold and make me the best first time director ever. I mean, think of everything we got! We just need the conclusion You’re right. We’re not gonna cheat the audience You just take that knife You take that knife right now, and just stab me in the heart Think about it! We’ve got the greatest ending ever right now We’ve got good versus evil in the ultimate head to head battle The villains gotta die in every film and that’s what we have! We got this moment right now and we can capture it on film! You sick bastard! Yeah! That’s right!, I am sick! God, I thought you were the one that was messed up? Jesus! Look at me, huh? [laughs] I planned all this! [laughs] I got the church bells now, baby! Huh? Let’s fucking do it right now! Let’s fucking do this right now! You stab me in the heart and you fucking kill me Get it on film Think of the ending, man! ‘Cause, you can kill me! but I’m in the movie That means I live forever You stupid fuck You want a climax to your film? I’ll give you a climax and I’m gonna get the fucking credit! Yeah, try to edit that! [panting] [gun shot] [Weather report] A beautiful day in sunny Los Angeles this afternoon We have sunny skies, a light breeze and warm temperatures Currently is 82 degrees here in Hollywood 70’s at the beaches, and we are looking at the low 90’s in the Valleys The whole thing just looked so real This is really gonna be fun I’m excited to release it Well you know, if it wasn’t for the effects of my man Harry here, none of that would have been made possible Ha Ha Industries? Yeah, I think that it kind of laughs at ya [Everyone laughs] When Travis first brought me this idea, I just knew right away that it was something special But you had to have done just right, otherwise, you couldn’t pull it off I stand behind my work So my partner Harry Hawke designed this
This is the pack you wear for the actors when you’re doing the stab scene The cool thing about though, is that it’s invincible So if you stab it with a knife, the blade can’t go through Your actor’s always protected See It’s going to revolutionize the film industry So what do you think Mr. Phillips we have a deal? We have more than a deal my friend As a matter of fact, I’d like to green-light the sequel and we should discuss the franchise rights as well Let’s do the deal -Here we go -We got it! We got it! We got it! Yes we did. We’re gonna have a lot of work to do if we plan to do a next one -Well, hold on a second guys -Exactly We gotta talk about safety first before we talk about another one ’cause I’m not taking another crowbar to the skull! [all laugh] So what do you think Mr. Hawke You, ah, ready for a sequel? I think I’m ready to “shoot” again And I’m ready to speak German again [Newscast] Beautiful weather for the next few days and back to you, Tracey These warm days have been nice, but it does look like storms are headed our way Switching gears: It appears than an anonymous source has lead police to recover the gun used in he shooting of Lane Mitchell Hayes who was currently out of jail on parole The gun belonged to Francis Jamal Jefferson, a known drug dealer and prostitution ring-leader Police believe that the death of Hayes was most likely drug and prostitution related given his prior history Jefferson’s currently being held without bail Now we switch gears to entertainment news, where the question still remains: where is Gabrielle Stone? Why don’t you just let me act in this and you can focus on directing I already set up the cameras You can’t be seen because shes expecting to be with me But I get to act in the next one, right? Keep the vest tight Harry’s gonna be in a half an hour to put the blood packs on you -You good? -Yeah Listen, aren’t we supposed to go this? Like go over safety stuff? What’s the matter with you? And people are wondering if the disappearance is part of a publicity stunt We’ll have the answer to that mystery at 11