Carol Gilligan: "Moral Injury and the Ethics of Care"

thank you so much Victoria for the privilege of inviting me to be here today can you hear me oh good and I’m just I apologize that I cannot speak to you in Spanish this terrible American limitation so I will I’m very honored to give these lectures I feel it’s a great privilege to be here in Barcelona I thank you all for coming to hear me I look forward to having a conversation with you my lecture tonight is called moral injury and the ethic of care and this is my latest thinking an insight that I just really came to this year that I want to share with you it’s it’s 40 years now since John Berger wrote quote never again will a single story be told as though it’s the only one it’s 30 years since in a different voice transposed the conversation about self and morality from a conversation about rules and principles to a conversation about voices and relationships it’s 15 years since Orenda T Roy in her novel the god of small things coined the phrase love laws for the laws that establish quote who should be loved and how and how much and showed that these loves laws these love laws often serve to justify violence in the interim a paradigm shift has been spreading through the human sciences a growing body of evidence coming from developmental psychology neurobiology and evolutionary anthropology has led what had been taken as markers of development to be seen in a new light rather than signifying healthy forms of maturation the separation of the self from relationships and of thought from emotion signal injury or responses to trauma the primatologist Fran’s de Valle has called for quote a complete overhaul of assumptions about human nature to correct for the past emphasis on competition and aggression and in light of the recognition that empathy is part of our evolutionary history and not just a recent part but an age-old capacity end quote the evolutionary anthropologist Sarah bluffer hurdy observes that the capacity for mutual understanding by which he means empathy mind-reading and and cooperation was and wait may well be key to our survival as a species the neuro the neurobiologist Antonio Damasio writes that our nervous systems are wired to connect thought and emotion in our bodies and our emotions we pick up the music or what he calls quote the feeling of what happens which then plays in our minds and thoughts when we separate our minds from our bodies and divide our thoughts from our emotions we can reason deductively and solve logical problems but we lose our ability to register our experience and therefore to think inductively to make decisions and navigate the human social world these changes in our understanding of who we are as humans were sparked initially by listening to women the quote different voice sounded different and was heard as quote feminine because it joined emotion with thought and relationships with self because it was embodied rather than disembodied located in time and place I wrote in a different voice to show how women’s what had been described by psychologists as a problem in women’s

development was in fact a problem in the framework of interpretation to show that empathy and caring and what we now call quote emotional intelligence used to be called feminine intuition are are in fact human strengths with this shift in the framework the different voice no longer sounds different it is simply a human voice in my lecture tonight I will consider the implications of this paradigm shift for thinking about ethics and moral development for example in the 1980s when researchers began to observe babies not alone but in relationship with their mothers they saw an infant they had not imagined a baby actively seeking and engaged in responsive relationships from a very early age practically from birth human babies scan faces make eye contact and engage the attention of others they register the difference between the experience of relationship that is being in touch with another person and the appearance of relationship that is when somebody who seems to be relating to them is in fact out of touch in the words of Daniel Stern the human infants world is quote an interpersonal world with these observations questions about development reverse rather than asking how do we gain the capacity to haier how do we learn to take the point of view of the other and overcome self-interest we are prompted to ask how do we lose the capacity to care what inhibits our ability to empathize with others and pick up the emotional climate around us how do we fail to recognize the difference between being in and out of touch and most painfully how do we lose the capacity to love as humans we are responsive relational beings born with a voice with the ability to communicate and the desire to live in relationships along with the capacity to spot false Authority within ourselves therefore we have the requisites both for love and for citizenship in a democratic society the culture wars in the United States that began in reaction to the Democratic advances of the 1960’s are fights over the framework as President Obama said in his campaign for reelection quote this election offers the American people the choice between two very different visions of our future are you on your own or are we in it together are you alone or are we interdependent the reality is we’re in it together because as the poet WH Auden reminds us no one exists alone hunger allows no choice to the citizen or the police we must love one another or die I will begin then with the discussion of moral injury the shattering of trust that compromises our ability to love next I will present a triptych of research on development showing when and how and why our humanity is at heightened risk and highlighting a capacity for resistance finally I will take up the love laws as no small thing and not a private matter as the battles over the love laws make plain the culturals remember the love loss who can be loved and how and how much these are the battles in the States over gay marriage and abortion all these issues it used to be upper race and so forth as the battles over the love laws make plain the culture wars are a fight between democracy and patriarchy the ethic of care and its concern with voice and with relationships is the ethic of love and of democratic citizenship it is also the ethic of resistance to moral injury part one moral injury and in his book Achilles in Vietnam the psychiatrist Jonathan che writes about moral injury as a psychiatrist working with combat veterans Vietnam combat veterans he recognized in their post-traumatic stress disorders an injury that had not been identified or described namely a shattering of trust that followed the betrayal of what’s right in a high-stakes situation where the betrayal

was sanctioned by those in authority Shea finds that healing from trauma depends on what he calls quote communal ization of the trauma being able safely to tell the story to someone who is listening and who can be trusted to retell it truthfully to others in the community so he advises before analyzing before classifying before thinking before trying to do anything we should listen just listen the veterans say when telling mental health professionals what they need to know to work with them meaning take in the story before trying to make sense of it because in fact their stories don’t make sense they are stories about confusion about becoming quote confused where the confusion starts quote working on your head because quote you know in your heart it’s wrong and you’re told by your superiors that it’s okay and it’s not just okay this is the veterans but rewarded with medals of Honor in the words of one veteran these stories are quote sacred stuff all too often as che observes quote our mode of listening deteriorates into intellectual sorting with the professional grabbing the veterans words from the air and sticking them into mental bins that is we assume we know what we’re hearing that we don’t really have to listen that we’ve heard it all before thus che writes we resemble museum-goers whose whole experience consists of mentally saying that’s cubist that’s El Greco and who never see anything they’ve looked at as che notes listening in this way destroys trust I am struck by Shay’s observations about listening because they so closely paralleled the approach I have taken in my research listening in a way that creates trust was essential to hearing a different voice meaning a voice that didn’t make sense according to their prevailing categories of interpretation the mode of listening was so integral to the process of discovery that my graduate students and I created a listening guide to specify a method other researchers could follow but I am startled by the resonances I find in Shay’s descriptions of moral injury in the very different context in the radically different context of studying development as children and adolescence my colleagues and I had observed something akin to moral injury that is a shattering of trust following a betrayal of what’s right in a high-stake situation where the betrayal was culturally sanctioned and socially enforced we were not observing combat injury we were witnessing a process of initiation that is often mistaken for development and initiation that is driven by gender and more specifically by codes and scripts of what it means to be a real man or a good woman speaking of what’s right Shay notes that no single english word takes in the whole sweep of a cultures definition of right and wrong we use terms such as moral order convention normative expectations ethics and commonly understood social values the ancient Greek word that Homer used Themis encompasses all these meanings what’s right is Shay’s equivalent of Themis it captures more closely than terms like moral order or ethics the sense of an inner compass we carry with us that alerts us when we’ve lost our way when we’re doing something that in our hearts we know is wrong my observation of something akin to moral injury began with the studies of girls development that followed in a different voice the research highlighted an intersection in girls lives at adolescence where an inner compass pointed in one direction and the highway signs in another girls had to throw away or ignore their compasses in order to follow the prescribed route with conviction in their reluctance to do so my research team and I saw a resistance that was associated with psychological

resiliency and strength but the intersection itself was marked by confusion because at this juncture in development the very meaning of what’s right was shifting the right way to go was not the right way to go the tension between psychological development and cultural adaptation became manifest as a crisis of action we’re having a voice meaning being able to say what one is thinking and feeling came into conflict with having quote relationships iris a high school senior reflects quote if I were to say what I was feeling and thinking no one would want to be with me my voice would be too loud and then she adds by way of explanation but you have to have relationships how could she say what she was feeling in thinking and also have relationships but if she was not saying what she was feeling and thinking then where was she in these so-called relationships the interesting thing is girls saw the paradox Judy at 13 describes the pressure she feels – in her words quote forget your mind your mind she says pointing to her gut is associated with your heart and your soul and your internal feelings and your real feelings facing the quandary of how to stay in touch with what she knows and also with what is considered knowledge she arrives at a creative solution Judy separates her mind not from her body but from her brain which she locates in her head and associates with her smartness her intelligence and her education people she says quote can control what they’re teaching you and say quote this is right and this is wrong that’s control like into your brain Judy says but the feeling she says is quote just with you the feeling can’t be changed by someone else who wants it to be this way it can’t be changed by saying no this is wrong this is right this is wrong as the interview draws to a close Judy states her theory of development really young children she says have mind more than anything else because quote they don’t have much of a brain but then the brain starts to evolve and that’s sort of like the way you’re brought up and I think that after a while you just sort of forget your mind because every is being shoved at you into your brain judy is 13 a reflective eighth grader struggling with dissociation and trying to hold on to what she knows she contends with a voice that carries moral authority a voice she experiences as intrusive and controlling you can forget your mind she says but the deeper sort of knowing the knowing she associates with her heart and her soul and her real thoughts and feelings can’t be changed by someone saying no this is wrong this is right however forceful the initiation however linked with smartness intelligence and education and all they imply the quote feeling is just with you a gut knowing buried perhaps but not lost the research on development gives a slightly different shift slant to Shea’s writings about moral injury it picks up on something one of the veterans said he knew in his heart that it was wrong he was speaking about on an intelligence error they had killed some innocent fishermen and children deep assumptions of what’s right and wrong what’s praiseworthy and blameworthy are rooted not only in culture but also in our humanity reflecting on his title Achilles in Vietnam Shay notes that quote the specific content of the Homeric Warriors Themis was always often quite different from that of American soldiers in Vietnam but what has not changed in three millennia are violent rage and social withdrawal when deep assumptions of what’s right are violated we live in bodies and in cultures but we also have a psyche a voice and a capacity for resistance the psyches responses to moral injury across time and cultures is violent rage and social withdrawal and also as che describes going berserk going crazy because something happened that psychologically didn’t make sense part two a triptych of development the word betrayal appears repeatedly in oby ways book deep secrets used by adolescent boys in her studies to explain why they no longer have a best

friend why they don’t tell their secrets to anyone the betrayal itself is never quite specified Justin describes it at something that quote just happens he doesn’t know if it’s quote natural or whatever but the shattering of trust is unmistakable as Joseph says quote you can’t trust nobody these days something had happened Justin and Joseph were among the majority of the boys in ways studies boys from a range of cultural backgrounds Latino Puerto Rican Dominican Chinese African American Anglo Muslim Russian and so forth who quotes spoke about having and wanting intimate male friendships and then gradually losing these relationships and their trust in their male peers as a freshman and sophomore in high school Mohammad spoke of telling his best friend all his secrets when interviewed as a junior in high school he says quote I don’t know recently you know I kind of changed or something not that much but you know I feel like there’s no need to I could just keep my feelings to myself you know I’m mature enough Fernando echos his explanation asked what he sees as an ideal friendship he begins you got to be funny truthful I just got to have fun with you you know but then he says more haltingly and with a question um you gotta I guess just be there for me I guess I don’t want to sound too like I think I’ve matured in certain ways I know how to be more of a man in the early high school years the boys resist the gender binary that makes it like to depend on someone and want them to quote just be there for me but by the end of high school as way notes emotional intimacy and vulnerability have taken on a gender girlie and the sexuality gay being a man then means being emotionally stoic and independent thus we see the effects of a gender binary in hierarchy where being a man means not being a woman or a like a woman and also being on top what previously had felt unimpeded the trust and love trust respect and love that 15 year old Justin says is quote so deep it’s within you it’s human nature has become fraud Justin doesn’t know if the distance he now feels is quote natural or whatever what he knows is quote it just happens the boys in way study know the value of close friendships George says that without a best friend to tell your secret to you would quote go wacko Chen says that without a close friend quote you go crazy others describe how anger builds up inside them when they don’t have a best friend to talk to some speak of sad sadness loneliness and depression the research with girls the centerpiece in the triptych reveals the mechanism of betrayal how it is enacted through a series of separations that create splits in the psyche the head is divided from the heart the mind from the body and the embodied voice the voice that carries the feeling of what happens is separated from relationships Tania at sixteen reflects quote the voice that stands up for what I believe in has been buried deep inside me a voice with integrity rights resides within herself but it’s silence compromises her relationships and also her ability to participate as a citizen in a democratic society articulate girls such as Tania and Judy described their strategies of resistance separating your mind from your education taking an honest voice underground when it becomes seemingly impossible to have a voice and all so to have relationships some form of psychic splitting is inescapable I don’t know girls will say I don’t care the boys in way studies say yet the girls do know and the boys do care although they may need not to know or to show this an injunction don’t has come to stand between I and knowing or caring the internalization of the gender binary in hierarchy marks the psyches induction into a patriarchal order whenever you hear a gender binary being a man means not being a woman or like a woman and vice versa and encounter a gender

hierarchy that privileges the masculine reason and self over the feminine emotions and relationships you know you are in patriarchy whatever it may be called as an order of living based on age and gender and order that privileges the voice and the law of the Father patriarchy is incompatible with democracy which rests on a premise of equal voice or equality but it is also in conflict with human nature by bifurcating human qualities into quote masculine or feminine it creates rifts in the psyche the internalization of patriarchal norms and values its codes and scripts of masculinity and femininity thus forces a betrayal of what’s right by compromising our ability to live with integrity in relationship with others it forces a betrayal of love and of truth to appreciate what is lost and why one only has to listen to girls before the initiation sets in in a discussion of whether it’s ever good to tell a lie eleven-year-old Alise a sixth grader in an urban public school says quote my house is wallpapered with lies whenever people say to me we want girls to their voices I say first of all girls have their voices the girls will tell you that and secondly do you really want to hear what they say my house is wallpapered with lies when I went to Elise’s house to get a permission slip signed I saw what she was seeing and I also saw her watching me seein a surface of domestic tranquillity was covering an explosive sexual triangle Elise’s voice is the voice of countless pre-adolescent girls in novels written across time and culture at the beginning of Jane Eyre Jane a h10 tells her aunt read quote you said I was a liar I’m not if I were I would have said I loved you and I don’t people think you’re good but you’re bad and hard-hearted I will let everyone know what you’ve done it is the voice of Iphigenia in Euripides tragedy of scout in To Kill a Mockingbird Frankie in a member of the wedding Raquel in a god of small things Claudia in the bluest I Tambu and seed seed Unga remembers nervous condition Annie John you’ll tell me about Spanish novels the list is endless we know this voice and yet it’s hard not to hear this voice as girls themselves will come to describe it that is as rude or stupid or to quote and frank as unpleasant and insufferable the voice is culturally inflected but clearly recognizable a girl on the edge of adolescence of becoming a young woman sees what she’s facing and says what she sees children must be corrected and Reid tells Jane and Charlotte brontë’s novel to which Jane responds deceit is not my problem yet this and this is precisely the issue yet once the correction is made few people ask where is that honest voice thus millions of readers myself include red and Frank’s diary without realizing that what we were reading was not Anne’s diary but a version of the diary that she edited after hearing on Radio Free Orange that was broadcasting from London into the Netherlands that the Dutch government in exile had plans to set up a war museum after the war and they were interested in diaries letters and sermons that would give a sense of how the Dutch people carried on their lives under the harsh conditions of the war and wanted to be a famous writer she seized her chance rewriting over 300 pages of her diary between May and August of 1944 her edited version is what most of us read without missing what Anne had left out that is her pleasure in her own changing body with its quote sweet secrets her pleasure with her mother and sister quote mummy Margot and I are thick as thieves again and her awareness that the stories adults tell children especially stories about marriage and purity are quote nothing more than I wash and knew what she was doing and why she wanted her diary to be chosen the brilliance of

dissociation as a response to trauma is that what is dissociated split off from consciousness and held out of awareness is not lost as the poet even Boland writes what we lost is here in this room on this veiled evening when dissociation gives way to Association the stream of consciousness the touch of relationship we have the sensation of coming upon something at once familiar and surprising something we know and yet didn’t know that we knew in when boys become quote boys Judy Chu brings the eye of a naturalist to a study of four and five-year-old boys observing them as they move from pre-kindergarten through kindergarten and into first grade she witnesses them becoming quote boys the pre-kindergarten boys who had been so articulate so attentive so authentic and direct in their relationships with one another and with her we’re becoming gradually more inarticulate more inattentive more inauthentic and indirect with one another and with her they were becoming quote boys chew saw boys resistance to this initiation in their quote strategic concealment of their capacity for empathy their emotional intelligence and sensitivity and their desire for closeness boys relational capacities are not lost she writes quote rather boys socialization toward cultural constructions of masculinity that are defined in opposition to femininity seems mainly to force the split between what boys know and what boys show winning the boys trust to learned about quote the mean team a club created by the boys for the boys and for the stated purpose of acting against the girls the mean team established a masculinity defined in opposition to and as the opposite of a femininity associated with being good and nice thus the main activity of the mean team this is the four and five-year-olds was to quote bother people to observes that the very relational capacities boys learn to shield the empathy and emotional sensitivity that lead them to read the human world around them so accurately in astutely are essential if they’re to realize the closeness they now seek with other boys yet in blunting or shielding or concealing these capacities in order to become one of the boys they render that closeness unattainable in the epilogue to thirteen ways of looking at a man the psychoanalyst Donald Moss recalls what Chu observed when he was in first grade they learned a new song every week and we’re told that at the end of the year they would each have a chance to sing lead the class and singing their favorite song which they were to keep secret for moss the choice was clear quote the only song I loved was the lullaby when at night I go to sleep 13 angels watch to keep from pencil and Gretel every night he would sing it to himself and like the song said the angels came saving him from his night terrors and enabling him to fall asleep it was quote and would always be the most beautiful song I had ever heard they had learned the song in early autumn in a late spring when his turn came he stood in front of the class the teacher asked what song he had chosen Moss remembers quote I began to tell her it’s the lullaby but immediately out of the corner of my eye I saw the reaction of the boys in the front row their faces were lighting up in shock I knew I knew in a way that was immediate clear and certain that what I was about to do the song I was about to choose the declaration I was about to make represented an enormous irrevocable error what the boys were teaching me was that I was to know now and to always have known that when at night I go to sleep could not be my favorite song that a lullaby had no place here that something else was called for in a flash in an act of gratitude not to my angels but to my boys I changed my selection I smiled at the teacher told her I was just kidding I told her that I would now lead the class in singing the Marines hymn from the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli Moss writes that his book quote can be thought of as an extended effort to unpack that moment in front of the class and indirectly to apologize to the angels for my treachery

he had been quote unfaithful to them had quote renounced them in public and continued to do so for many years the residue was a melancholia tied to the boys awareness that what he is quote really doing in that fateful turning outward is simultaneously preserving and betraying his original love of angels affirming and denying his new love of boys after all now he and the boys are joined together in looking elsewhere for the angels they might have all once had yet in spite of his treachery the Angels quote are still there Moss shows us with stunning precision how initiation leads to a rewriting of history I was to know now he writes and to always have known that a lullaby could not be my favorite song and yet it was and quote always would be part three the love laws in an overlooked passage midway through Tolstoy’s novel Anna Karenina we hear the hushed voice of Karenina quote prior to the day when he saw his dying wife he had not known his own heart like Hawthorn in his novel The Scarlet Letter Tolstoy in Anna Karenina takes us into the territory of the love laws in The Scarlet Letter the word patriarchy appears repeatedly patriarchal privileged patriarchal personage patriarchal power along with a portrait of the father of the custom-house the patriarch who quote and this is Hawthorne had no soul no heart no mind in this he resembles Karenina also a government official the central characters and the Karenina and Hester Prynne are so dazzling so vibrant that our eye fixes on them they stand out among the women the quote good wives who are gray and muted by comparison Anna and Hester are women who break the love law is driven by a quote lawless passion we want to know what happens to them it is almost as if they serve to distract us from seeing what Tolstoy and thorn are showing us about what happens to men in patriarchy the names of Hawthorne central male characters Dimmesdale and Chillingworth give us a clue yet Hester Scarlet a so rivets our attention that we may miss the implied questions how does a man of worth mister Chillingworth become chillin how does a man of nature mr. Dimmesdale become dim its Tolstoy who takes us to the core Anna is due to give birth to the child she conceived with her lover Vronsky deathly ill she sends a telegram to her husband begging him to come and forgive her so she can die in peace he assumes it’s a trick and feels only contempt yet he’s concerned that if he doesn’t go and she does it would quote not only be cruel and everyone could condemn me but it would be stupid on my part so he goes readers often forget or don’t quite take in that it’s this juncture in the novel Karenina offers to give Anna both her freedom and her son he will divorce her and by taking the disgrace on himself make it possible for her to go into society and to keep seryozha with her as it turns out Anna does not take the offer her decision is unexplained in a novel where we’re told what even the dog thinks Anna’s refusal to take her freedom it’s a refusal that seals her fate is conveyed cryptically in a short paragraph quote a month later Alex C Alexander which was left alone in his apartment with his son and Anna went abroad with Vronsky without obtaining a divorce and resolutely abandoning the idea we are however told in great detail what happened to Corinne and when at his wife’s bedside quote he had given himself for the first time in his life – that feeling of tender compassion with other people’s suffering of vocht in him and which he had previously been ashamed of as a bad weakness he suddenly felt quote not only relieved from his suffering but also an inner peace that he had never experienced before he suddenly felt that the very thing that had once been the source of his suffering had become the source of his spiritual joy that what had seemed insoluble when he condemned her approached and hated became simple and clear when he forgave and loved Karenina settles into his household he

begins to observe the people around him the wet-nurse the government and his son he regrets that he hadn’t paid much attention to him now he stroked the boy’s hair with his hand for the newborn little girl quote he had some special feeling not only a pity but also of tenderness he did not know how he came to love her he would sometimes spend half an hour silently gazing at the saffron red downy wrinkled cheek of the sleeping baby and felt utterly at peace and in harmony with himself and saw nothing extraordinary in his situation nothing that needs to be changed but quote the more time that passed the more clearly he saw that natural as this situation was for him he would not be allowed to remain in it he felt that beside the good spiritual force that had guided his soul there was another force crude and equally powerful if not more so that guarded his life and that this force would not give him the humble peace he desired he felt that everybody looked at him with questioning surprise not understanding him and expecting something from him over a stretch of 15 pages Toaster repeats the phrases crude force powerful force mysterious force as though to make sure they stay in our mind like Vronsky’s strong white teeth in the face of this force Karenin feels powerless quote he knew beforehand that everything was against him and that he would not be allowed to do what now seemed to him so natural good but would be forced to do what was bad but would seemed to them the proper thing what seemed to Karenna natural and good becomes in the eyes of the world bad and improper the crude powerful mysterious force which contrary to his inner mood guided his life demanding the carrying out of his will which led her Renan to feel ashamed about quote that feeling of tender compassion which other people suffering evoke in him and to regard it as a bad weakness his patriarchy Anna had broken the love laws but in doing so she freed loved her own and as it turns out also that of Karenin we learned that Karenin had been an orphan his childhood bleak his pursuit of status and honor appear in this light as an attempt to fill an inner void he was a man afraid of feeling cut off from love ashamed of his humanity until suddenly also a repeated word in this passage his heart opens in response to Anna and the baby and opening he experiences as simple clear natural and good he writes to Anna tell me yourself what will give you true happiness and peace in your soul I give myself over entirely to your will and your sense of justice in this moment they appear simply as human he with emotions of tenderness and compassion she with will and a sense of justice but the world they live in is ruled by a crude force Karenin sacrifices his love Anna sacrifices her will and her desire for freedom and with these sacrifices the tragedy becomes inescapable once Anna leaves without obtaining a divorce once she gives up the freedom she wanted and that could have made her life with fur on ski viable enabling her like him to go out into society and not separating her from her son it’s a straight line to her death under the Train love is the force that has the power to upset a patriarchal order crossing its boundaries in a render to Royce novel an untouchable man touch is a touchable woman it dismantles its hierarchies of race class caste sexuality and gender thus love must be betrayed or lead to tragedy for patriarchy to continue hence the love laws hence the association of patriarchy with trauma and moral injury because as Tolstoy shows us in the character of Karenina the betrayal of love is a betrayal of what’s right the privileged position of men and patriarchy can blind us from seeing what these novelists show us the devoted resistance the resistance that comes from within rather than from someone who stands outside the culture is the resistance of Vronsky and his lover who repeatedly turns down opportunities to rejoin his regiment and rise in the hierarchy choosing instead to be with anna in this respect he is like Shakespeare’s Antony who’s speaking of Egypt and Cleopatra says quote let Rome in Tiber melt here is my place

Tolstoy and Hawthorne tell a dominant story they show us the price of freeing love within a patriarchal order but also the costs of its containment in the hushed voices of the men we hear the signs of moral injury when they are forced to betray what’s right in a high-stakes situation a betrayal sanctioned in the eyes of the world as good and proper love Hawthorne writes whether newly born or aroused from a deathlike slumber must always create sunshine filling the heart so full of radiance that it overflows upon the outward world he also observes quote no man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true conclusion the ethic of care it is difficult in this postmodern age to speak up an honest voice or true face respect for cultural differences has similarly complicated the search for moral truth can we uphold the value of individual liberty and religious freedom while maintained a commitment to human rights in these discussions the situation of women repeatedly comes to the floor can a democratic society sanction or turn a blind eye to the subordination of women in patriarchy one way to advance the discussion of ethics is to begin by talking about listening listening in a way that creates trust then talk about moral injury in the ethic of care how it can guide us in preventing the betrayal of what’s right with the paradigm shift in the human sciences we can recognize the extent to which we have mistaken patriarchy for nature and fail to see what the Arab Spring demonstrated so viscerally the desire to have a voice and to live democratically is a human desire in Egypt the presence of women and Terriers grad square was striking and their subsequent absence from public life suggests that women are the weathervane in the struggle between democracy and patriarchy showing which way the wind is blowing the love laws are no small thing and we need to fight them not acquiesce in the separation of women’s rights from human rights or relegate women to a special sphere where equality becomes uncertain and rights don’t apply knowing that the private sphere is where women are most at risk it’s unconscionable not to speak out and watch out for women’s rights and women’s safety Sarah Hardy observes that the patriarchal family is neither traditional nor original in an evolutionary sense however natural it may appear however god-given it is said to be as Hardy writes quote patriarchal ideologies that focus on the chastity of women and the perpetuation and augmentation of male lineages undercut the long-standing priority of putting children’s well-being first care is a feminist not a feminine issue if you ethic and feminism guided by the ethic of care is arguably the most radical in the sense of going to the roots liberation movement in human history released from the gender binary in hierarchy feminism is not a woman’s issue or a battle between women and men it is the movement to free democracy from patriarchy the Laguna Pueblo poet and scholar Paula Gunn Allen writes the root of oppression is the loss of memory in a different voice identified the reclaiming of voice as a pivot a turning point in women’s development it followed the recognition that selflessness long seen as the epitome of feminine goodness is in fact morally problematic it signifies an abdication of voice and an evasion of responsibility and relationship my interviews with pregnant women who were considering abortion took place in the immediate aftermath of the US Supreme Court decision in roe v wade when the highest court in the land gave women a decisive voice it encouraged women to scrutinize the sacrifice of voice in the name of goodness Janet one of the women interviewed articulates this shift in her thinking when concerns about goodness are joined by a concern about truth you have to know what you’re doing Janet says you have to be quote truthful not hiding anything bringing out all the feelings involved before you can know if what you’re doing is quote a good decision and an honest one a real decision a comparable turning point in

men’s development occurs when a man realizes he has been living a lie and scrutinizes the betrayal of love in the name of honor or manhood Donald Moss reflects that he had been unfaithful to his angels had quote renounced them in public and continued to do so for many years but he had also been unfaithful to himself because in truth the lullaby was his favorite song the ethic of care guides us in acting carefully in the human world and underscores the costs of carelessness of not paying attention not listening being absent rather than present not responding with integrity and respect in the documentary film the gatekeepers six former heads of Shin Bet excuse me Israel’s Internal Security certain silence a voice under political or religious or psychological constraint how can I listen in women for the honest voice of the eleven year old girl or in men for the emotionally intelligent four year old boy what are the resonances that can summon disassociated experiences back into awareness like love art has the power to cross boundaries and open doors that have seemingly been nailed shut what happens when we replace judgment with curiosity rather than putting ourselves in the shoes of another we would do better to put on our shoes and go to the other to learn from them about their place I conclude with Jonathan che quote if we want to live among equals with strength and candor among people with as Euripides says free and generous eyes the understanding of trauma can form a solid basis for a science of human rights as che says the vision of a good life for a human being is an ethical choice and cannot be coerced it can only be called forth by persuasion education and welcoming appeal thank you very much you