MATT: Welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, a show where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors play Dungeons and Dragons. So sorry for the tech delay. We had a few technical errors, but we’ve pushed through them. Let’s go ahead and get this show on the road. First, with your announcements ZAC: Yeah, three really quick announcements Number one is tomorrow we’re going to be starting early for some special programming because you guys tweeted at us and told us that you wanted us to, so Erika and Josephine are going to be playing Tomb Raider at 1PM tomorrow; that’s not on our schedule, but you guys wanted us to do it, and Amy’s going to come out and join them, because Amy’s really excited about the game, too. So, those wonderful ladies will be playing that at 1:00, and then we have Taliesin joining us for Group Hug tomorrow (cheering) ZAC: Sure you guys heard Hector yelling at you in that nice little ad that we had, and the last announcement that I have is that we will be a sub-only chat tonight. This is not something that… we tried holding off as long we possibly could, but we’ve had a lot of requests from people to try it. So we’re going to try it out tonight, see how it goes; if it goes well, we might end up staying with it. But we really didn’t want to, because we wanted to keep this as open as possible. But we’ve been getting a lot of requests to, so we’re going to give it a shot and see how that goes, and just wanted to let you guys know that was up MATT: Thank you ZAC: All I got! MATT: So I guess the show was a grand experiment and now tonight’s chat room will be a grand experiment; we’ll see how things pan out. So definitely let us know how that works for you guys after the show. We’ll pass that feedback on or let Zac know, so… Anyway, welcome to our crazy show We have some announcements to give at the top of this, too. First, well I guess first I could say, tonight we have a special guest Skyping in from New York as she finished shooting early. We have Ashley Johnson will be joining us tonight as Pike (cheering) MATT: She’s almost to scale as Pike right now It’s fun (laughter) ASHLEY: Yes MARISHA: How’s the weather in New York? ASHLEY: Oh, you know, it’s just really cold and rainy, but it’s good. It’s good. I’ve missed you guys so bad LAURA: We missed you, Ashley MARISHA and LIAM: We missed you, too ASHLEY: So much! (laughter) MATT: I’m so glad you could join us tonight. You guys are in for a treat, watching how a dungeon master incorporates a character suddenly in the middle of a story (laughter) SAM: Or fails at it MATT: Or fails at it; we’ll see ASHLEY: He told me five minutes ago, and he told me what was going on, and I was like, “I’m back, “can I play?” He said, “Yeah you can play. Let me plan real quick.” MATT: Yeah. So. Appreciate your understanding of the delay LIAM: If you can survive the Extra Life game MATT: Yeah, that’s true. Maintaining a narrative, that’s the hard part MARISHA: Never can forget MATT: It’s true MARISHA: Never forget. The Deck of Many Things MATT: The Deck of Many Things ruins everything. Oh my god. All right, so, next announcement, as part of our Spotify playlists being put up on the website. Each person has been creating Spotify playlists around their character. This week Keyleth went live on the website (cheering) MATT: Had good feedback on it so far? MARISHA: Yeah! TALIESIN: I like it MARISHA: Yeah. Go listen to it. It’s like what Laura said last week; it’s like weird because it’s kind of like a vulnerable soft spot, but yeah TALIESIN: I like it MARISHA: Journey songs. Go check them out LAURA: Goodness TRAVIS: Where do they go to do that? At the Geek and Sundry website? MARISHA: Geek and Sundry website TALIESIN: Or you can, if you follow Geek and Sundry on Spotify, you can find all of our Spotify playlists on there MARISHA: Right. But you should go to Geek and Sundry’s website because we each wrote little descriptions LAURA: Thanks, Taliesin TALIESIN: I’m here to ruin everything MATT: And we’ve had people spoil themselves TALIESIN: Yeah, you should read our notes. We have liner notes MARISHA: And we also each picked out some of our favorite fan arts that we’ve gotten LAURA: Yeah, we picked those ones out MATT: Travis is abandoning us; he had to go LAURA: He’s done; he’s out. Travis is creating his playlist right now MATT: Travis is like, “No!” We lost a Grog, gained an Ashley. I’m okay with that. All right, cool, so next up, Wyrmwood has their Critical Role stuff for you guys who want to buy really awesome, nice and pricey upper-tier geek stuff LAURA: There are some affordable ones. There’s definitely affordable options on there as well It’s not all pretty expensive MARISHA: And it’s Christmas coming up, man LIAM: It’s a wide spectrum. Their website is Wyrmwood Gaming, and the code that will get you free shipping on an order is CritRole. CritRole, all one word MATT: Awesome. Couple other things. Also, we tonight are putting– we don’t have Pike’s because that was a kind of surprise, but we have new art by our official artist Kit Buss for all the character portraits we’ll be using tonight SAM: They’re really good MARISHA: They’re up? They’re below us? LAURA: So you can see them? MATT: You can see them LAURA: I’m so excited! I’m looking down at it right now MATT: Thank you so much Kit TALIESIN: I have sideburns! MARISHA: We look hot SAM: Pink and proud TALIESIN: I’m a little scruffy. I’ve seen some shit MARISHA: Yeah, Grog has a beard. Look at Grog and his beard over there LAURA: Grog looks good with a beard MARISHA: It’s over there TALIESIN: It’s down and to our left MARISHA: Yeah, they have it in order as to what we’re sitting
LAURA: Oh really? I can’t see it SAM: Well it’s not there, either TALIESIN: It’s underneath the tables LAURA: Oh, right. That’s Ashley. What am I doing? SAM: All screens have our show on them MATT: (laughs) Everything. We take over. Great Next announcement is for all you waiting for the Critmas episode; I know that they divided the recent upload into two different parts, the Critmas being its own kind of individual upload I’ve been told that goes up tomorrow. So, those of you who are, “Where has the episode?” It’ll be up there tomorrow for you to watch. And you get to see all the amazing things that a bunch of fans made and sent out and all the lovey-dovey awesome connection stuff that we stayed here until midnight last week having fun with, so check it out tomorrow. It’s a lot of fun. All right, also, let’s see, reminder we have awesome t-shirts online like the one that Travis is wearing– it’s been one of those days– Taliesin is also wearing it. And the newer one that Laura is wearing. Those are available. We also have the keychains and the necklaces, too, so those are cool; those are up. Games that came out this week? Fallout 4 came out this week, as I’m sure many of you are aware MARISHA: And we’ve all been playing it. Foaming at mouth! MATT: Exactly SAM: Who’s in it? Matt, you’re in it. Is it just Matt? Is that it? Who else is in it? MARISHA: Yeah, who else is in it? Anyone else? LIAM, LAURA, SAM, and TALIESIN: I’m not in it MARISHA: Just Matt? LAURA: Are you in it? TRAVIS: I’m the dog (laughter) LIAM: I did enough voices for Fallout: New Vegas SAM: Yeah, I was all over New Vegas, as well, so they cut me out MARISHA: We recently found you, though MATT: Yeah, in the game MARISHA: And what’s funny was, his character, McCreedy, he starts bitching at you for picking up a lot of junk, which Matt does to me in real life Yeah, Matt was like, “Do I really?” And I was getting it from two fronts. I’m like, “God damn it.” LAURA: I’m a straight-up hoarder in Fallout MARISHA: I’m a hoarder. I need more toy cars. I don’t have enough screws! LAURA: I need screws! MARISHA: Screws are fucking hard to come by LAURA: Because that’s the only way you can upgrade your guns! SAM: (shushing noises) LIAM: This is the entertainment you subscribed for (laughter) ZAC: I don’t have to do this on this show almost ever, but let’s go, guys. Come on MATT: So anyway, I play McCreedy and Z-114 TALIESIN: BlizzCon, oh yeah MATT: Oh yeah, I’m getting there TALIESIN: Okay, you’re getting there MATT: Also, a bunch of us went to BlizzCon this past weekend, which had a lot of fun, fun panels and stuff, and we met a whole bunch of Critters that were there as well TALIESIN: So many Critters MATT: It was really cool. We had kind of an impromptu signing for a while, and we had a bunch of very positive conversations with a bunch of you cool people, so those who came out and said hello: hello! It was great meeting you all MARISHA: Thanks for seeing us TALIESIN: Nice to see you MATT: We had a good time. It was fun, and Liam was all over BlizzCon LIAM: Yes, I was prom queen at BlizzCon this year MATT: (laughs) It was pretty rad. All right, couple last things. Oh, today, a few of us went with other fantastic hosts on our Twitch channel network to the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles and handed over our donation from the Extra Life charity we’ve been doing for the past month or so that you guys made happen. It was incredible to see the outreach everyone put into it, and we ended up handing over pretty much $115,000 dollars to the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles LAURA: Congratulations, you guys! MATT: Congratulations, you guys It’s a wonderful facility MARISHA: And the hospital was amazing TALIESIN: Yeah MARISHA: It’s a good hospital LIAM: Yeah, it’s such a great tour. They have so many creative things that I’ve never seen in hospitals– I got kids– or would’ve thought they had a room for teenagers; it was cool and had teenage stuff in it. It was awesome MARISHA: Oh yeah; they have a giveaway library, where they give a book to a kid every day TALIESIN: With little toadstools LIAM: Give out 32,000 books a year MARISHA: Yeah LIAM: Not lend, give books to kids SAM: That’s a lot! MARISHA: So we’re actually going to be talking about that later, but they apparently have a book wishlist, so we’re going to be getting that from them and sharing it to you guys because these people need books ASHLEY: Wait, what the heck? How much money? (laughter) MATT: $115,000 ASHLEY: What? I saw the check on my iPad, and I thought it said 15. I was like, “Wow, that’s so “much money. Holy crap!” There’s an extra one in front of that (laughter) MATT: That’s you guys. You guys are incredible And last but not least, we have an announcement, do you guys want to handle this one? TALIESIN: Oh god. Yeah! I forgot about that! MARISHA: Yeah, high five! We’re high-fiving and no one knows about what we’re high-fiving over. So we have a fun new announcement for everybody. Aren’t you excited? SAM: I’m ready to announce it MARISHA: You’re so ready SAM: What is it?
MARISHA: Okay, so, Critical Role is finally getting a weekly comic strip SAM: Is that true? MARISHA: Yes! SAM: I’m famous! MARISHA: Yes! (laughter) SAM: I did it! TALIESIN: You’ve made it SAM: I did it! MARISHA: We’re getting a comic, you guys. It’s starting off as a comic strip. So it is going to be coming– SAM: In newspapers everywhere? MARISHA: In newspapers everywhere online if the website is named GeekandSundry.com. So, everywhere. Yes, and so it’s going to be starting next Wednesday. They’re going to be releasing weekly on Wednesdays SAM: I love it TALIESIN: We’ve got work to do MARISHA: I know TALIESIN: I know; it’s crazy MARISHA: The first run that we’re going to do– they’re going to be semi-episodic, I guess, like loose story line little vignettes TALIESIN: Like a comic strip. Like a Doonesbury, so you get little segments that all lead up into a larger thing MARISHA: And the first storyline is going to be our Winter’s Crest festival. So it’ll be thematic It will go all the way up until Christmas, and our first artist is the amazing Wendy Green, wendydoodles (cheering) MARISHA: So we’re going to be switching out artists as we go through different story arcs, and Wendy’s our first one TALIESIN: She’s going to be telling the story of our very first winter festival, which is– should we tell them is also mixed with other events in Critical Role history? MARISHA: Yes. You’ll see TALIESIN: You’ll see. It be fabulous TRAVIS: Much to come LAURA and MARISHA: Much to come MARISHA: But definitely go check that out because– SAM: Not yet, though MARISHA: Not yet, next week LAURA: It’s up next week? Holy moly MARISHA: Next week. The first one goes out on Wednesday. So the more people who go and look at it, the more we may get later TALIESIN: Go check it out because the more people who check it out, the more likely they are to say, “This deserves to be an entire comic book.” SAM: Big dreams, Taliesin, big dreams TALIESIN: With animation and craziness and hyperlinks and all sorts of things MATT: Yeah, we want to make more content for everyone, so if you like the content, then go look at the content that shows that we could possibly do more content LIAM: We enjoy doing this MARISHA: Yes. We want to see how far this ship will sail MATT: So yeah. I think that’s all our announcements ASHLEY: Maybe it’ll ship to New York? (laughter) ASHLEY: Hey, I had to try (laughter) LIAM: It’s so good to have you here MATT: I know, I’m so glad you could be here, Ashley ASHLEY: Oh yeah, I wish were there in person LAURA: Me, too ASHLEY: But soon MATT: Yep. Have you got your dice and your character sheets ready? LIAM: You got your gear, Johnson? MATT: You ready? ASHLEY: I got all my gear. I’m so nervous and so excited. I feel like I don’t know how to play anymore! TALIESIN: It’s like falling off a bicycle; it’s easy ASHLEY: Yeah MATT: So, with that, let’s go ahead and kick back into the mood of the current venture into Whitestone LAURA: Oh no TRAVIS: Make the beat drop MATT: Now SAM: Okay, here we go MATT: The party of Vox Machina, having traveled across Tal’Dorei to the city of Whitestone to seek a pair of seemingly vicious and evil individuals known as Lord and Lady Briarwood, members of the past that Percy’s family fell to oh so many years ago, leaving what he thought was the sole survivor to the de Rolo family. Upon coming to Whitestone, finding its people downtrodden and oppressed by the Briarwood rule as well as the cutthroats and mercenaries that they had brought along with them when they took the city, now given lordship and plots of land and rule over this entire town The word began to spread of possible new rebellion as you charged through the town, leaving burned marks, burned houses, and very slaughtered people in the process. Very bad people. As these murmurs continue to roll and coalesce, you spoke to a number of individuals in the city that were involved in previous failed rebellions and seemed to build up what may be the last chance for Whitestone. As part of this information was revealed that Percy’s thought-dead sister Cassandra still existed within the castle and had been what people thought the only living de Rolo and bastion of hope in the city. Now there were two Upon triggering the initiation of this, the party split, Scanlan Shorthalt running to one of the nobles while the rest of the party went to the other to set a diversion at the same time (laughs) It may not have worked out as intended, but it definitely worked, as we had an epic bard versus goliath rainstorm rooftop showdown. The rest of the party made their way into Count Tylieri’s home, destroyed his vampiric self, and got some information out of the guards before escaping into the town, which has now gone into chaos Many of townsfolk have become the militia that they’ve been preparing to be. Armored with
whatever they can find, they’ve managed to take down a number of the large, hulking zombie giant guardians throughout the city. Many lives were lost in the process, and the battle is ongoing. As you rushed towards the center of the town to check in on the Sun Tree, finding all the previous bodies that resembled members of Vox Machina cut from its boughs, you saw swarming in towards the center of the city a large horde of skeletal undead, clattering forth into the dark As the sun has now set over the horizon, the rain beginning to pour heavily into the center of the town. There was efforts meant to keep the army at bay as you all rushed towards the west to escape the immediate fray, and that was where we left off last session SAM: Shit TRAVIS: We fucking run LAURA: Are we still running? Are we still running away? SAM: We just got to the tree line, right? MATT: You guys haven’t gotten to the tree line yet, no SAM: Oh, Jesus TALIESIN: We are still running LAURA: We’re heading out of town TRAVIS: There’s a shit-load of skeletons behind us LAURA: Are they right behind us? I’m still riding Trinket? MATT: At this time, you are on Trinket. The rest of you are running through the muddy streets. Your feet are slick against the ground, and you have to catch yourself every now and then from not tumbling forward TRAVIS: Dust of Tracelessness? LAURA: Are the skeletons still behind us? Can we see them? MATT: As you glance over, they’re just now starting to pour from the town square itself, and it was hard to see the exact number, but from your perspective in the darkened kind of just post-sunset light, you didn’t see the end of it TALIESIN: Whoa, triple digits MATT: Possibly. From what you can tell in the middle of the chaos from rushing. There was a zombie giant behind you that did manage to finish off some of the villagers before coming after you. In your haste in escape with the help of a few of you individuals who managed to tear it down, slaughtering it as it gave chase through the city street As you guys are now looking behind and seeing this undead horde pouring into the central road that you’re traveling along, you hear a voice ring out from the other direction, toward where you guys are running. For a second, it’s hard to make out what it is, but the voice is suddenly readily familiar; it says, “There! Run! Aid them!” And as you guys glance away from the army and back towards the path where you were traveling, you see what looks to be about ten armed villagers, various pieces of armor, some nicer than others, some have seen some use over time, but nevertheless serviceable and functional. You see at the front of them, Brother Yennan. Sorry, Keeper Yennan is at the front of them armored up, shield at his side, holding aloft the holy symbol of Erathis in his hand, and they’re all just running towards you guys (heavy footfalls) MARISHA: We can’t leave LAURA: Can I trail behind on Trinket and try to cast Conjure Barrage at the incoming skeletons? MATT: You’d probably have to slow down to do that, because you’re a good, like, probably 50, 60 feet away from them, if not a little further. You guys are moving faster than them, so, that even the chase, they’re not very quick entities LIAM: So we’re 50 or 60 feet away from the skeletons, and how far are we away from the villagers that are coming in the other direction? MATT: They’re about a hundred feet from you and closing TRAVIS: I would advise bringing them with us instead of stopping LAURA: But all the villagers that aren’t in armor are still in town TRAVIS: Shit happens MARISHA: I’m running back. I’m going back towards the skeletons LAURA: I was carrying you. You’re on Trinket with me, aren’t you? Can he carry both of us? LIAM: No, I was pulling her by the arm MARISHA: I break from Vax’s grasp and start running back MATT: Go ahead and make– this is technically breaking a grapple LAURA: I do want to trail back a little on Trinket and try to cast Conjure Barrage as we’re running MATT: Okay, so, so Trinket begins to turn around You’re fighting. It would be either acrobatics or athletics versus your athletics MARISHA: Athletics. Ooh, I rolled an 18 SAM: Five! MATT: With that, the slick rain across her forearm (swish) she squeaks her arm out from your grasp, and with that moment, you feel her disappear as she rushes back towards this undead onslaught SAM: You never could keep a lady (laughter) LIAM: I immediately pivot around and follow TALIESIN: Ditto MARISHA: I start conjuring up a 4th-level Flaming Sphere MATT: Keep in mind you still have Call Lightning coming, so you would be losing the Call Lightning at this time MARISHA: Flaming Sphere MATT: Okay. So with that, the darkened clouds that had gathered begin to slowly disperse as you begin to focus, running forward. As you are charging, using the momentum, the air around you begins to slowly grow and ignite before a ball of flame bursts into your peripheral, and you can control it at will MARISHA: Okay, how far away is the horde? MATT: At this point now, they’re about 30 feet away. Since you went right back towards them as opposed to running away LAURA: Am I in front of her? MATT: You’re now, because you gave chase shortly after she ran off, so you guys are about tandem MARISHA: Okay, here’s my question. Are they funneling down one main street? How wide is that street? MATT: About 20 feet MARISHA: Okay, with my flaming sphere hovering above me, I’m going to throw up a wall of stone
LAURA: Okay wait, not before I shoot my Conjure Barrage, because I said I wanted to fucking do it before you did that MARISHA: Conjure a barrage first MATT: All right, so Conjure Barrage LAURA: (laughs) Don’t fucking block my arrows MATT: What, what’s the distance on Conjure Barrage? LAURA: I think it’s a 60-foot cone MATT: Okay, then yeah, you can definitely attempt that. Okay. So, as you create this sphere, and it’s rolling to your side as you begin to concentrate and look over your shoulder, and you see Trinket (heavy steps) running up, with just mud slung as each one of his claws begins digging into the earth, pulling him forward. (bear roars) On his back, you see Vex pull out an arrow, pull back, and concentrate. The arrow itself seems to split and shatter in her hand, almost like the wood itself divides into five or six different shards. As you release the arrow, it bursts into a funneling cloud of sharp wooden splinters that fires out from the front of you. What’s the DC on that spell? LAURA: It would be 15 MATT: 15 DC, and is that dex? LAURA: Dexterity, yeah MATT: Dexterity. All righty LIAM: He’s just got to roll for a hundred skeletons LAURA: I know, no problem MATT: The ones that are in range would be about 12 at that point MARISHA: (scoffs) Only 12 MATT: Okay. Given the average of rolls there, the explosion of splinters just shoots outward, just completely disintegrating the first row of about five or six of them. About five or six past them get a bunch of splinter in their bone, their rib cages shatter open, and they (skeletal gargle) try and move forward before they collapse in on their own structure and (clatter) scatter into the mud Let’s say you destroyed ten of them LAURA: Okay MATT: You can still see about 50 or 60 slow pushing towards you at this point in time Keyleth MARISHA: Okay, I throw up a wall of stone. Am I near the Sun Tree again? LAURA: We’ve left the Sun Tree MATT: You guys left the Sun Tree, and you’ve gone westward, it would be from your perspective Westward across the city, towards the treeline SAM: And now we’re doubling back MATT: You’re now doubling back. At this point, however, the undead horde has filtered into the town square and is currently between you and the Sun Tree MARISHA: Okay, so what I’m going to do is, I want to conjure it from underneath me, so as I see them filtering up, I want to pop it up right from underneath me to where I’m on top of it MATT: Okay, and the width of it’s going to cover the entire street? Okay. (swoosh) The wall of stone lifts you up at its maximum height. What’s the maximum height of that spell? TRAVIS: Keep that cast hand feeling firm MARISHA: Ten feet LAURA: The hand went down, the spell went away MARISHA: Ten foot by ten foot panels MATT: Can you repeat that? I lost my phone for my app, so I’m going to use this book here So, ten feet? MARISHA: Ten feet MATT: All right so, (whoosh) you’re lifted ten feet up into the air. You can now see, about to crash into the wall, what looks 70 or so skeletons just (crashing noise) scraping into it. You guys can all of a sudden hear through the rainfall in the distance this scratching of metal shields and blades and bones scraping at the stone wall, and (skeletal hissing) hissing and clattering MARISHA: So I’m going to take the fire sphere, and just start funneling it right down and start cleaning house MATT: Okay LAURA: Beyond the wall? MARISHA: Just yeah, right into the thick mess of them MATT: Okay. The flaming sphere begins to move over the wall. You’ve done your action, and you begin to push that forward, because the sphere moving through you would get to about your space. So next turn we’ll get to that. You guys have caught up to the wall now. The rest of you have turned around with her SAM: Yeah, I ran for a few more feet, and then I looked around and no one else was running with me, so I turned around and restarted running back with my little gnome legs. (panting) MATT: Okay. Percy TALIESIN: I’m climbing the wall LIAM: Climbing the wall MATT: Okay. You guys get up on top of the wall It’s about four or five feet thick; it’s a little precarious, but not too much to really bother you guys You get to the top and you look over and you see this sea of thrashing about skeletal entities, some looking fresher than others, and all intent on trying to find some way– and you start to see some of them starting to climb up over each other to get to the height of the wall TALIESIN: I’m just going to hold and anybody who gets too close– I’m just going to take a shot at anything that gets too close MATT: Okay TRAVIS: Can you see any giants from up there? TALIESIN: Can I see any giants from up there? MATT: Make a perception check SAM: While he’s doing that, I’m yelling at Grog, “Grog! Throw me up over the wall! “At least to the top!” TALIESIN: I rolled a perception of ten MATT: The rainfall is too thick. Right now, your vision is so obscured that even beyond 50, 60 feet it starts getting a little hard to make out details TRAVIS: Are you sure? LIAM: I turn back towards the villagers, who are probably running up at this point and yell, “Fire! “Bring fire!”
MATT: The Keeper says, “Fire won’t help, but I can.” SAM and LAURA: Oh TALIESIN: Whoa MATT: “And so can she.” As he looks over his shoulder, you can see the villagers are parting, and there is, running behind them, this form of a small humanoid armored entity, but glowing. Her actual form is comprised of glowing, radiant energy, like an actual avatar of Sarenrae in the form of a tiny gnome cleric, just charging through the rain, each droplet of rain that hits her body (sizzling) just immediately evaporates on impact, and she comes charging towards you guys TALIESIN: I’m reaching down to help her up on the top of the wall MARISHA: Oh my God. Keyleth thinks she died Keyleth thinks she’s dead LIAM: I’m grabbing Percy’s arm and lowering him down lower because she’s short MATT: All right, as you guys reach down and she runs up, Keeper Yennan reaches up and grabs on the arm as well as she gets up and the two of them together lift up on top, and as you grab her arm, it’s strange. It’s warm to the touch, warmer than a natural arm, and it doesn’t have full physical essence to it. It’s almost like she’s partially an apparition of her physical self. There is purchase. There is an actual form to it, but it doesn’t feel fully solid SAM: She’s lost weight! (laughter) TALIESIN: You look so thin! MATT: With that, you lift her up, and she’s lighter than you recall, and almost like a gentle feather of herself, she (light footfall) lands onto her toes on the top of the wall LIAM: She was light already MATT: I know LAURA: Pike?! ASHLEY: Hi! LAURA: Hi! MARISHA: Pike, did we die? ASHLEY: No, you’re still alive LIAM: How did you get here? What are you doing here? How did you get here? ASHLEY: Oh gosh. It’s a long story. I don’t know if we can talk about it right now (laughter) ASHLEY: Do we need to fight anything right now? LAURA: There are lots of skeletons! MATT: Yeah. As you look down before you, and there is a horde of skeletons that are right now about to crush the wall. You see two right now that are lashing out. One reaches for your leg TALIESIN: I’m taking a shot MATT: Okay, go for it ASHLEY: Let’s talk later LAURA: Can I have Trinket lift me? Stand up on his hind legs, and up against the wall so I can climb up? TALIESIN: I Percy’d SAM: You broke the gun? MARISHA: No, he critted TALIESIN: I didn’t Wheaton, come on. I Percy’d MATT: All right, go ahead and roll damage TALIESIN: That’s a 20 MATT: Whoever sent in that d20 SAM: It’s weighted TALIESIN: It must be. Oh, it’s hollow! Nine. 15 points of damage MATT: With the rocketing (blast) sound, the Pepperbox fires, and the skeleton in front of you just explodes into splinters of bone, just being scattered amongst the crowd of skeletons behind it. However, the moment that that one is gone, another one seems to already be crawling into its place TALIESIN: Whatever you’re going to do, do it! I’m firing again MATT: Okay, fire again TALIESIN: 24 MATT: What is it, 24? TALIESIN: 24. 11 points of damage MATT: 11 points of damage? (gunshot) It fires and blasts off most of the skull on the skeleton, and you can see its jaw hangs open, but it still (skeletal hiss) TALIESIN: Firing one more time at it! That hit 15, 27. Seven points of damage MATT: Okay, that one you clearly destroy the top of its skull. The rest of it just crumples into the pile and disperses amongst the chaos. The horde, though, is now as almost like a wave There’s so much of it that’s pushing up against the wall and beginning to swell up to reach the top of the ten-foot wall. The flaming sphere rolls over the top and slams down into the front of the group. As it hits and impacts, go ahead and roll the damage MARISHA: I cast it at 4th-level, so it’s doing 5d6 right now MATT: All righty. And what’s the– MARISHA: They have to make dexterity saving throws MATT: Okay MARISHA: Oh, really?! TALIESIN: Wow MATT: One, three, nine, 20. One. I’m doing general rolls for this. It pushes through ten of them Seven of them are destroyed, the bone cinders and burns, and then crumples into itself. A few of them manage to push out of the way, kind of (growls) watching as it rolls past. You can hear this constant pattering of rain evaporating against the flaming sphere (sizzling) as it pushes through, the mud boiling, left in its wake. As that’s happening, you get up to the top. Trinket pushes you up on the top LAURA: Yeah. I want to shoot Lightning Arrow down into the core of it that I can see, just a big group of them MATT: Okay. Go for it LAURA: Okay SAM: I want to go up there. Pike’s up there! LAURA: 16? MATT: 16? 16 definitely hits, yeah LAURA: Okay. And then that’s– sorry, 2d8. I can’t add. 4d8. There we go. 19 MATT: 19 damage? LAURA: Yeah
MATT: Okay, so the first one takes full damage, (impact noise) explodes as the lightning arcs through the air, the arrow hitting the central skeleton. You see the light actually burst into the back of its skull, causing this blueish-green glow to shoot out of its eyes and mouth as it explodes and detonates LAURA: Everything within ten feet MATT: Exactly. Ten feet total? That would be wow TALIESIN: 16 MATT: Yeah. (laughs) General saves on this. I’m rolling for shit TALIESIN: Yeah, you are! MATT: All right, so with that (blast) the shock wave blasts outward, and you see skeletons being thrown– pieces of skeletons. Arms and weapons and pieces of shield and armor being flung in the air As you see 12 of them immediately disintegrate and explode around it. In that moment, though, the horde pushes again and fills that gap almost instantly. You do see the end of it now, at this point. It looks to be probably a total of 65 left in this section. Roll a perception check LAURA: Aw, that looked like it was going to be awesome. 11 MATT: 11? Okay. Don’t worry about it TRAVIS: I look at Scanlan and I say, go get her, and I grab Scanlan by the back, and I throw him up onto the wall MATT: All right MARISHA: Cheerleader boost MATT: That’s easy enough for a ten-foot wall, oh, and for a gnome, so with that, Scanlan leaps up, and you land next to Pike SAM: Hi, baby! It’s been so long. Man, you look good. Aw, man, I’m so distracted by your beauty Hey, let’s kick some ass together, shall we? ASHLEY: Kick some ass! Come on, let’s go! MATT: And with that, both Scanlan and Pike, what do you guys want to do? SAM: Ladies first ASHLEY: Can I jump off of the wall? MATT: You can LAURA: Into the group?! MATT: You can, yeah ASHLEY: Yeah. I can? Okay. I want to try… I want to see what happens if I cast Turn Undead MATT: Or Destroy Undead. You have access to both ASHLEY: Oh man. Okay MATT: It’s a 30-foot radius ASHLEY: Let’s do it. I want to see it. I want to see what it does MATT: All right, so I need you to go ahead and make an athletics check to see how far you can jump, if you don’t mind ASHLEY: What check was it? MATT, LAURA, AND TRAVIS: Athletics MARISHA: This is going to be so badass. So badass LAURA: Don’t jinx it. Don’t jinx it ASHLEY: What do I roll, again? MATT: Rolling athletics LAURA: A 20 and then add your athletics ASHLEY: I rolled a seven MATT: (laughs) And what’s your athletics? LIAM: Can I pick her up by the armor and throw her? MATT: (laughs) It’s a little late for that, unfortunately. What’s your total? ASHLEY: Okay, hold on MATT: Okay, just get in the swing of it, first ASHLEY: I’m so sorry, you guys. I roll a 20? And I rolled a ten. I rolled a ten. Hold on MATT: It’s all good ASHLEY: Natural 20! LAURA: Oh! SAM: Hey, what is she rolling, huh? MARISHA: She accidentally rolled a d10, so she was re-rolling for a d20, and she rolled a natural 20 MATT: That’s pretty fantastic TALIESIN: Thank you for the translation MARISHA: Yes. Oh yay! MATT: Okay, then. Given that circumstance, you in this sunny, radiant form, you reach back and leap into the air, and for a split second you see with a flash of light, almost like these momentary feather angel wings, burst out of the shoulders of Pike that (whoosh) flap once and then disperse into sparkling feathers that vanish under the rain. As Pike leaps out, landing 35 feet in the center of this on top of a skeleton. You slide down its body as its shield pushes you off to the ground, and you land on your feet, and as far as you can tell from your eye-line, all you see are chattering skulls and blades around you for all visual perspectives and a little bit of the skyline above you, a little bit of the clouded night sky. So Pike, are you going to use your action to Destroy Undead? ASHLEY: Yeah! (laughter) MATT: Okay. Wow MARISHA: Come on, Pike LAURA: Oh my gosh MATT: What’s your spell DC? Be on your spell page ASHLEY: It is 16 MATT: 16? Good to know. That’s wisdom. They’re minus one wisdom MARISHA: There’s, like, 80 skeletons he has to roll for LAURA: Yeah, he’s rolling a gajillion times, Ashley TALIESIN: Roll LAURA: Oh, goodness ASHLEY: I just keep hearing a thud LAURA: Yeah MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs) ASHLEY: Thunk
LIAM: It’s going to be like a knife through butter LAURA: I can’t believe he’s rolling this many times MARISHA: I know (laughter) MATT: Okay. So, as you see all the skeletons begin to reach for you, and their blades come pulling down towards your armor, you curl into a ball, clutch your holy symbol of Sarenrae, and through the connection that has allowed you to be here in this moment, you feel this welling of radiant energy just burst out from you in this shock wave of glowing radiant force just (explosion noise) blast outward. For that entire blast wave radius, which would be the entirety of this road leading back for about 60 feet, you end up turning to ash roughly 36 of these skeletons ALL: Whoa! ASHLEY: What?! (laughter) MATT: Just (explosion noise) the rain itself is disintegrated by the sudden wave of heat, and there is just a cloud of ash that turns to mud immediately against the rain and slams against the nearby buildings, slowly dripping down the sides Pieces of metal armor just go slamming to the ground, rolling (clanking) into piles and piles of currently unused weapons LAURA: Our jaws are just– LIAM: Yeah MATT: As you look up, you can see the remainder of the horde, which you’re looking at probably about at this point 20 or so skeletons still pushing forward at this point, just mindlessly rushing towards the closest thing they can see, which is this glowing beacon of a gnome in the center of the street LAURA: Oh my god MATT: All right, so Scanlan, what do you want to do? SAM: By the way, can I just say, that’s my girlfriend who just did that (laughter) SAM: I have to go to her aid. How close are the skeletons that are approaching her right now? MATT: They’re going to be acting after this, so they’re about 30 feet away from her, so just outside of the radius of her spell SAM: Okay. I’m going to– she jumped 35 feet out there? MATT: She did, yes SAM: Can I do that? MATT: If you want to try MARISHA: She rolled a natural 20 LAURA: She rolled a natural 20 SAM: Jesus, that was hot ASHLEY: I can’t believe I rolled a natural 20 on my first roll LAURA: That is amazing ASHLEY: So happy, you guys SAM: Man ASHLEY: It won’t happen for the rest of the game SAM: Yeah, I’m going to try to jump to her (laughter) MATT: Okay ASHLEY: Do it! Do it! SAM: Got to limber up first, stretch out the calves TALIESIN: This is going to go so poorly LIAM: Natural 20 for love SAM: For love? Yeah, four (laughter) SAM: Is this acrobatics or athletics? MATT: It’s athletics SAM: Ooh, that’s a nine MATT: The wall itself is slick, and as you push down, you lose your traction on the front. It doesn’t cause you to fall, per se, but you manage to get ten feet off the actual wall, landing (boof) with a thud in the dirt, and Pike still 25 feet away from you SAM: Okay, do I still have a move, or is that my move? MATT: I’m going to say that’s going to be your move SAM: Okay, shit. (laughs) How many are in my line of sight? MATT: The 20 or so that are left are currently 55 feet from you and beyond SAM: And are they clumped together by any chance? MATT: They are; they’re very clumped together SAM: Oh, great MATT: All their friends just turned to ash, and they’re now starting to climb over the armor to find their way towards Pike SAM: Okay, then I’m going to cast Lightning Bolt on them. Will I hit Pike? Is she in my line of fire? MATT: Not if you angle it towards the edge SAM: I will angle it, then (laughter) MATT: All right SAM: Oh, and also, Lightning Bolt comes out of my body? MATT: Out of your body in a straight line SAM: Can it come from my cock region? MATT: If you would like to SAM: I would like it to just spew forth out of my gonads, just at them LAURA: Of course you do SAM: I’m trying to impress Pike! I’ve got a lightning dick! MATT: An arcane display of virility, if ever there was one. Scanlan does a singular, classic, ancient technique, the arcane thrust, and with such (boosh) a bolt of energy goes firing out just barely arcing around Pike’s form and slamming into a row of skeletons. Go ahead and roll your 8d6, and what’s the DC on your spell? I will say because you’re doing the thrust, you do not get the cone on this one SAM: Oh, well it’s not a– it’s 17 MATT: 17 LAURA: (laughs) He just put the cone down in a lower place LIAM: There’s no 1d6 for cube damage (laughter) MATT: Not for skeletons SAM: (counts quietly) No wait, that’s 14, 16, 20, 22! MATT: 22? All right, so the bolt (electric spark) arcs through and slams into seven of them. What
was the total damage there you said? SAM: I’m sorry? MATT: The total damage was? SAM: 22 MATT: 22. Okay, yeah. So two of them survive. You can see their kind of burnt, charred forms, and one of them’s missing an arm now, and the armor itself is still (electricity noise) arcing little bits of energy. Five of them, however, just explode into black, burning bone chips LAURA: Bone chips MATT: At which point you can now see, bolts of lightning are (lightning strike) coming down from the storm in the distance, too, as the thunderstorm itself is reaching more of a fervored pace, the rain itself getting harder and harder on you guys. So, with that, you can see looking over your shoulder on the other side of this wall another bit of skeletal horde is starting to come down one of the nearby intersections, and it’s starting to come around the other side of you guys LAURA: Oh, we’re getting trapped TRAVIS: Oh, shock. We should have fucking run MATT: You do see, however, that the ten villagers and Keeper Yennan are currently rushing towards that group to hold them at bay and Keeper looks back over his shoulder and says, “You! Don’t “worry! We’ve got this! You do what you must. It has begun. Finish it!” And goes charging forward, holding his shield forward, rushing towards the group of skeletons. The skeletons, however– you have to do something at this point LIAM: I’m going to hold my turn MATT: Hold your turn? Okay. The remaining 13 or so skeletons use their full movement to get up, only three of which can actually get into combat range with Pike, since their speed is only 30. That radius really messed them up, man ASHLEY: Yeah! MATT: Glad you could make it tonight (laughter) LIAM: Are they closing in on Pike? MATT: They are, yes LIAM: Oh, then I’m going to leap off the wall and run towards Pike MATT: Okay, so you’ll get there simultaneously; you’ll be doing your action simultaneously. So, you run off the wall (running steps) and make it up, not a problem at all with speed. Pike, as you see the rest of the skeletons zoning in on you, Vax suddenly just rushes to your side, daggers at the ready. Three skeletons are going to take swipes at Pike. That is a 17? Nope? Oh, it’s a seven. Oh, skeletons. And that is a 12. Yeah Two of them try and swipe, and you just knock it out of the way with your shield. A third one does hit you in the front of the chest, but the armor deflects it entirely, and the blade actually sinks a little bit into your form, but the radiant energy that holds your position there just pushes it off, and the blade itself seems to almost dull from the impact TALIESIN: Up yours, Harryhausen! MATT: You’re up LIAM: How many skeletons are in range right now? MATT: Well, the final seven that are currently there are within range if you wish to attack any of them. There are three that are currently in melee with her LIAM: I’m going to take my blades and spin around, pommel out, and I’m going to start punching. I have no idea if this will do anything. There is a symbol of Sarenrae sewn into this glove right here. I’m just going to start– I don’t have the Boots of Haste on, so I can just take two swings at– SAM: Punching? LIAM: Yeah. Two skeletons. One skeleton. Whatever skeleton is closest to Pike MATT: There’s a skeleton right next to both you and Pike LIAM: Yeah, all right. He’s getting it in the dusty jaw MATT: Go for it LIAM: All right, I have no idea how to do this I’ve never done anything without a dagger. That’s not good. I don’t know what to add to this LAURA: You still get sneak attack if you’re in back of them LIAM: That’s true, but I have to hit (laughter) MATT: So, if you’re just physically punching, this is strength-based. So roll a d20. Add your strength modifier and your proficiency– although it’s unarmed strike, so I don’t know if you’re proficient with unarmed strikes LIAM: No, that’s fine. so the first one misses entirely MATT: Okay LIAM: And the second one is– oh, this is probably fine for skeletons. 12, 13, 14 MATT: What did you roll on the dice? LIAM: 11 MATT: Yeah, you hit LIAM: Okay, that’s the right hand with the symbol MATT: The symbol of Sarenrae, okay. Go ahead and roll 1d2 plus your strength modifier damage LAURA: 1d2? There’s no 1d2 MATT: Roll a d4 and divide it by two LIAM: It’s a one, so it’s a one MATT: What’s your modifier for strength? LIAM: Two, so it’s a three MATT: So you do three points of Vax fist damage right to the skull (crushing sound) SAM: She killed 36 of them! MATT: It hurts at impact, and you feel like the bone wobbled as the skull (bone ratchety noise) back towards you LIAM: This symbol does nothing for me. I’m here to soak up damage for you, Pike. Let them hit me in the face TALIESIN: It looks great MARISHA: Good craftsmanship MATT: But well done, that was a fun round LIAM: That was a test. It’s better now than against Sylas Briarwood MATT: (laughs) True enough TRAVIS: Can I make it around the wall? MATT: If you want to make an athletics check to leap up and use that to jump off, you– mister athletic movement and high speed TRAVIS: 19? MATT: Rolled a 19? TRAVIS: 12 and seven MATT: I’ll say you leap up on the wall, use that as kind of a stepping point, and jump as far as you can. You get 20 feet forward beyond the wall (heavy landing) land with your hammer to your
side, (flames ignite), flames flickering off the edge of it. You still have– I’d give you 20 more feet of movement at this point because you’re a crazy-fast barbarian TRAVIS: Can I reach them? MATT: You’d be able to reach two of them, right on the other side of Pike TRAVIS: “Tee time!” And I rush up with the war hammer and swing MATT: Okay, go for it MARISHA: Tea time? LAURA: Tee time. I was picturing tea; he probably meant golf TRAVIS: Like Happy Gilmore TALIESIN: Fist full of crumpets TRAVIS: Tea time. That’s a 26 MATT: 26, that definitely hits. Roll for damage on the first one TRAVIS: Okay, I don’t know TALIESIN: Mister Cobblemitts, I do declare SAM: Get your doilies out TRAVIS: Okay, 11. 12? MATT: 12 damage? How much is the war hammer? Of that? Not the fire damage TRAVIS: Oh, just 11 MATT: 11? Okay. As you smack into it, you can see the bones themselves are brittle by nature, but the solid slamming force of a thick piece of honed metal into the side of this bone-brittle creature just sends it shattering to the side. You get the feeling that these entities are particularly fragile against bludgeoning weapons. So your first strike just scatters one of the skeletons across the ground. You have one more in your reach if you want to go for your second attack TRAVIS: Yeah MATT: Okay TRAVIS: 20 MATT: 20. Go ahead and roll damage on that one TRAVIS: (laughs) 16. 22 MATT: (explosion noise) The second one just explodes up into the air. You can see one of its shields goes flying off and lands on one of the roofs, almost like Walter White’s pizza MARISHA: I dodge a femur ASHLEY: I give Grog an air-high-five MATT: As great weapon master, I believe if you kill something, you also can use a bonus action to get a third attack. Outside of your frenzied rage So, I mean, nothing’s in– right now in melee range for you, but if you wanted to throw your hammer, you could TRAVIS: I’m also not raging MATT: Correct. I’m saying, as part of great weapon master, you can not rage, kill something, and then get a free attack with your weapon TRAVIS: Well let’s throw some shit, then MATT: (laughs) So with the Chain of Returning attached to your hammer, you go ahead and (propeller noise) send it swinging towards one of the further skeletons TRAVIS: 25 MATT: 25 definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage TRAVIS: Ten… 14 MATT: 14, doubled due to the bludgeoning vulnerability on the initial impact. The hammer slams into its rib cage, causing it to cave inward. Its entire upper body just falls into itself as the hammer, not meeting any resistance, goes beyond and (impact) splotches into the mud Go ahead and make your athletics check to try and pull the hammer back LIAM: Like you’re attacking ribbon candy MATT: Kind of, technically TRAVIS: 13 MATT: 13. You just (sucking noise) pull it out with a sickening sound (thunk) catch it in the air, the blood dripping– the mud dripping off of it, but you see it burning away as the flames begin to burst through the actual mud LAURA: You’re licking the mud off? TRAVIS: Yeah. Never know a place until you lick the mud MATT: Burns some of the taste buds as the searing hot edge of of the hammer reaches your tongue TRAVIS: (pained noises) MATT: All right, that ends that round. There are now currently four skeletons on this side. We’ll say for the sake of brevity, you manage to, in the next round or so, just destroy them, the flaming sphere itself can just bash through them. So you’re on two sides of the wall. The rain’s pouring so heavily (lightning crash). There’s a flash in the distance of lightning. I want everyone to roll perception TRAVIS: Now I know what we’re looking for TALIESIN: Have to have a conversation soon MARISHA: Have to have a conversation. Oh, fuck SAM: 16 TRAVIS: Two LIAM: 20 TALIESIN: 17 LAURA: 19 MARISHA: One MATT: So you got 20? You see in the flash of lightning in the distance. You can see just barely on the other side of the town square what looks like the outline of a giant currently slamming into something, and out of the corner of your eye, you see a second one to the south side of the city. There are still a few of these giant sentinels out there. They don’t look too terribly close, but they’re still on the rampage LAURA: Should get out of here SAM: Or kill them TRAVIS: Or kill them LAURA: That’s a lot of giants to take on SAM: There’s two LIAM: We need to go kill those giants right now We have a holy gnome right now. I don’t know how you came to us Pike. We need to go to them, and then we need to go to the Briarwoods now. Now LAURA: I’m out of spells! We can’t go to the Briarwoods now. I am out of spells LIAM: Granted, we’re going to the giants now MARISHA: I don’t think we have a choice LIAM: Giants now SAM: Giants. Let’s go get the giants TALIESIN: Yennan! Can you hold until morning? MATT: As you’re shouting this over, he is currently about 40 feet away right now, slamming
into a front line of skeletons, grabbing his own holy symbol, and you see another similar burst of energy to the one that Pike let out earlier (explosion) That same dull, bass-y impact sound You feel a shudder in the ground beneath you as a series of more skeletons are immediately disintegrated in his proximity. Looks over his shoulder. “Until morning? Why wait until morning? “We’re fighting now!” TALIESIN: We’ll do what we can SAM: Hold that thought TRAVIS: I’ll go LIAM: Giants, now SAM: Giants, yes LAURA: I can shoot an arrow LIAM: Better than the Briarwoods plus giants; let’s go get those giants right now SAM: Are the two giants together or are they coming from opposite sides? LIAM: No, there’s one over there, and there’s one off in that direction MATT: One to the east, one to the south SAM: Let’s split the party MARISHA: Split the party! I say we do it; fuck it, let’s split the party One take east, one take west LIAM: All right, weight it more heavily to the group that does not have Pike LAURA: Yeah MATT: Okay. Who’s taking whom? SAM: Oh, I’m with Pike (laughter) MARISHA: Spellcasters should split up. I’ll go without– what did you just say? LAURA: I said Percy, you, me, and Vax go on one, and then these three go on another ALL: Yes TRAVIS: I’ll take the gnomes on my shoulders (laughter) LIAM: Ah, it’s adorable TALIESIN: Give you a big hug MATT: All right, so we have Grog and the two gnomes, and the rest of you? MARISHA: Hey, we started something; we can’t stop MATT: Who’s going which direction? TRAVIS: Grog and the two gnomes will run south LIAM: Are they to the south and west? MATT: Currently to the south and east LAURA: Why are we splitting? This is the stupidest! SAM: Everything we’ve done in this fight is the stupidest. Let’s go MARISHA: Let’s go! SAM: All right, big and smalls are going south TALIESIN: We meet to the west! MARISHA: We’ll go east TALIESIN: We’re going east, but we meet to the west when we’re finished TRAVIS: The treeline TALIESIN: Listen to your ears MARISHA: Although remember, the signal’s a little weak TALIESIN: Once we get back to the western wall, we’ll be able to hear each other MATT: All right TALIESIN: Oh god MATT: Grog and gnomes, you guys are going to the south, all right. As you guys dart off, making your way around the still very ominous and creepy Sun Tree to your left, you can see all the various muddy prints of all the scraping skeletons that came through here, and in the distance you can still hear echoing shouts, combat shouts, commands being sent throughout. There’s still very much an aggressive presence of the resistance in this city. You have no idea whether or not it’s on the winning or losing side at this moment, but it is still active. You guys divide at this point Starting with you guys. Grog, holding both the gnomes, and you can feel Pike is lighter than normal, and you know her weight quite well, as you’re used to putting her up on your shoulders from growing up with her, and in recent years. But there’s also this strange kind of vibration to her body, like it’s not physically there, but yet it does feel like there is physical presence As you’re rushing through the rain, acknowledging this, you make your way to the bottom of the square. Charging through, you almost slip at one point and catch yourself, head past one street, a second street, and to the left as you glance off, you can see there is another patch of skeletons and currently about five villagers that are just trying to tear through them. You see a couple of bodies of villagers that have recently been killed. There’s one that’s actually still partially alive on the ground. It’s like dragging itself through the mud in your direction, like (gasping, grunting) Rain pouring down, there’s a big trail of mud and blood currently behind him as he’s making his way towards you guys. (gasp) “Help!” What are you doing, Grog? TRAVIS: Pike, do you want to help him? ASHLEY: What did you say it was? LIAM: There’s a person wounded, pulling themselves through the mud, saying, “Help me.” ASHLEY: Yeah, I do. I always want to help somebody. I don’t know; what do you think? SAM: Yeah, let’s do it. Let’s help him ASHLEY: Okay TRAVIS: All right, we stop and let Pike down MATT: Okay, so you rush up to this guy. As you get up to him, you see his face is half-covered in blood; his side is very heavily wounded. It looks like he took some sort of a spear wound that then tore through his midsection. He has been bleeding out pretty heavily at this point and probably doesn’t have much longer to him. As you bring Pike down below him, Pike, what are you going to do? ASHLEY: Okay, I’ll Cure Wounds MATT: What level? ASHLEY: I’ll do 3rd MATT: Okay, so go ahead and roll for that SAM: She’s the best (laughter) SAM: Look at her, Grog. She’s helping an innocent bystander. She didn’t have to! TRAVIS: Going to step on his throat after she’s done SAM: She just is a people person! MATT: All right, 3d8 plus five ASHLEY: (garbled) 23 TRAVIS: 23? MATT: 23? Okay, so as you reach forward, he looks up at you like he’s seeing an angel walk towards him and looks scared. He’s like, “No, not yet. Not yet!” And as you reach forward and touch the sides of his face with your smile of mercy and understanding, your warm hands touch the sides of
his head, and the energy of Sarenrae’s blessing pours through his body. You can see the insides of his armor begin to give this soft glow from where the wounds are as they close up. You can see the large gash in his side begin to stitch itself up magically, and at that point he takes a deep breath for a second and kind of turns over and is now in sitting position, breathing heavily, looking around himself, confused. “You… you’re an angel. A bloody right angel.” ASHLEY: No, I’m not, I– MATT: He reaches out for you with his hand forward. “Thank you.” ASHLEY: I help him up MATT: He gets up and he still seems sore and bruised and there’s still wounds across his body, but he’s no longer on the path to terminal loss of his life. He stands up. “Okay. Okay. Thank you.” TRAVIS: Run. Now MATT: “Oh, I intend to.” And he reaches over in the mud and finds his sword, wipes it off from the side, (war cry) turns around and rushes back in to the rest of his allies TRAVIS: I like him! SAM: He’s a good guy TRAVIS: I pick Pike back up, put her on my shoulder, and we keep running MATT: Okay, you guys go charging back into the storm from the south side (Skype sound) ALL: Oh no! MATT: We’ve lost Pike! LAURA: Oh no! SAM: It’s okay, it’s okay LIAM: Keep telling the story MARISHA: Oh god! MATT: Technology. As you guys continue running forward, you go past two city streets. The whole city’s dark now, it’s closed down in preparation for what this evening is going to entail. So you go past these two streets to the left. Immediately, you hear the familiar sound of a large, heavy mass slamming into the ground, and as soon as you turn the corner you can see there are three people left in this one resistance brigade. There is a pile of wounded and/or killed soldiers around its feet, and it looks like it’s been nearly untouched. This one apparently got the drop on them or at least they weren’t fully prepared for what they were up against, and it’s just swinging this giant club in the air around towards them. They’re all kind of keeping their distance, not knowing if they should run or keep fighting. As you just turn around the corner, I want you guys to roll initiative SAM: Initiative, Ashley, initiative ASHLEY: Okay. Wait, I cut out right when you said, was that guy bad? SAM: No, he was a good guy. You did good, kid ASHLEY: Okay MARISHA: He picked up a sword and went running back into battle LIAM: Back to the fight ASHLEY: Okay, good TRAVIS: Boss SAM: 16 for me TRAVIS: Yes! Me too MATT: Fantastic SAM: We’ll go last LIAM: Ooh, he’s got houses LAURA: Oh, wow. This one is very, very rolly. What did you get for initiative, Ashley? ASHLEY: I got a six LAURA: Aw SAM: She said six? LAURA: Yeah SAM: Aw MATT: Should be fine there MARISHA: Fine, fuck it LIAM: Oh, look at that! LAURA: Whoa, he’s huge! Grog is almost as big as him. Almost MARISHA: You ready for this, Grog? MATT: She is turned this way right now. They’re all keeping their distance at this point. All right. So. Initiatives for that. Oh. All right LIAM: Blood of the giant, you can do this MARISHA: Oh man, I’m so excited LAURA: Horrified MARISHA: Yeah, me too, a little horrified MATT: All right, so. Initiatives are? SAM AND TRAVIS: 16 SAM: Six for her MATT: All righty MARISHA: Does Trinket– where’s Trinket? LAURA: I’m riding Trinket MARISHA: Oh, we’re riding Trinket LAURA: I’m riding Trinket MARISHA: You’re riding Trinket, okay MATT: All right. Grog and Scanlan, you guys are up first SAM: I’ll go first. I’m not going to do much, but I will take out my Wand of Magic Missiles, because I’ve got to use everything I got. And I will shoot, fuck it, six missiles, I’ll use six of the slots. So it’s three plus another five MATT: Okay, and how many total do you have on there? SAM: Every day it recharges and I rolled and it’s back up to seven MATT: Okay, got you. So seven is the max you can hold for that. Okay. So you’re using the last of yours for this, this is the last SAM: I am using six of the seven MATT: Okay, got you. Okay. Got you. Then go ahead and roll for that TRAVIS: Put the stank on this guy SAM: What do I do? 11. I don’t– what am I adding to this? MATT: Well, for Magic Missile, you keep firing– MARISHA: It just happens MATT: Yeah, you don’t have to roll, they all hit automatically, that’s the good thing about Magic Missile, it just hits. All right, so you create three darts, so it’s 3d4 plus three, and then if you’re casting it at 6th-level, you said? SAM: Yeah MATT: All right. That’ll be an additional five darts. 8d4 plus eight SAM: Okay. Three, five, eight, 12. 14, 15, 17. 17 plus eight. 25
MATT: 25 points of damage to the giant. As you jump off Grog’s shoulder, pull out your wand, it all of a sudden glows for a second, and from that point like a swarming anime missile storm, these unerringly hitting arcane missiles slamming into the sides of the giant. (growls) You can see bits of its flesh unfolding and spilling off to the side, exposing some bone underneath, as all of a sudden its attention shifts, looking over its shoulder at the three of you. As it begins to right itself, preparing being flanked on each side, a little bit of undead intelligence within its brain knowing how to defend itself. (growls) SAM: As my movement, I’m going to– where am I? MATT: You’re right here, on the side of Grog SAM: I’m going to move just in that thing. Where’s the laser? TALIESIN: Oh, the thingie? SAM: I don’t know. I’m going to move to my left into that little alcove there MATT: Okay, so you’re kind of hiding around the wall of the one of the buildings, and as you dart to the side, kind of glancing around the corner SAM: And I’ll sing a song of inspiration for Grog MATT: All righty SAM: (sings) Well now Whitestone’s got problems, and now we really can’t solve them, unless we make really deep cuts, so baby show me that Grog blood! (laughter) MATT: Take your d10 inspiration TRAVIS: Wow MATT: Grog, you’re up. Hearing this beat in the back of your head as Scanlan’s stomping his foot– TRAVIS: This is my jam! (laughter) TRAVIS: I go into a frenzied rage and I rush the stone giant from behind And I take aim at his right– MATT: You guys are almost in the same position, there TRAVIS: At his right leg, yeah– MATT: Oh, you’re spooning TRAVIS: I aim at the back of his right knee MATT: Go for it TRAVIS: 17? MATT: That hits TRAVIS: Should I roll damage first? Or all three MATT: There’s no other current combat target, so you can roll all three, it’s fine TRAVIS: 26? MATT: Hits TRAVIS: 24, sorry. And 19 MATT: Hits. He’s very slow-moving and a very large target, he’s very easy to hit, thankfully. So as you rush up, first, what you got? TRAVIS: 22 for the first one MATT: 22, nice TRAVIS: 13 for the second one MATT: Nice TRAVIS: 15 for the third one MATT: Nice! (whack) You slam the hammer into the side of one of its calves. It buckles for a second and you can see the muscle itself kind of snap and a piece of bone is now jutting out of the side of its leg TRAVIS: (singing) Now we got Grog’s blood (laughter) MATT: With that, you swing the hammer around and slam it into the bone, actually jamming it deeper into its leg (all yell) TRAVIS: Yes, yes! MATT: As you pull back, these slow flames kind of burning the outside, you can see the flesh sizzling with the impact of the burning hammer Swing it once in your hand, whack! Onto the other side, this time the actual leg bursts out that side and it falls almost a little bit, it’s sort of walking on this stump of a leg now, you pretty much destroyed the bottom half of its middle of its calf to its foot, it’s just slumping over, the toe’s still kind of wiggling on its own. It’s now half on part of its leg as at this point it kind of rotates in place towards you now, using one hand to get around as it brings this club up Looking up into its face now, as you haven’t really had a close-up on this, it’s strange to see, you see there are similar features, you’ve encountered stone giants this up close and this personal, there is where your brethren, your blood comes from. However, half of its face is torn off by some sort of large claw mark. Where there would be an eye is just this sunken socket and there are these streaks of dried blood that long before the rainstorm came are just smeared across the face, and part of its jaw is broken open and you can see jagged broken teeth underneath, its tongue lolls out the side and it just (undead groan) reaches up with its club to come on down. (laughs) All right, so the first, it’s going to come down and strike you with this giant club-like piece of heavy wood and metal. That’s a natural 20 LAURA: His face as he said it MATT: That’s an 18 plus nine, so it’s– TRAVIS: 27, halved MATT: Well no, that’s to hit TRAVIS: Oh, the hit. Got you MATT: All right, so. First strike comes at you for 16 points of bludgeoning damage, halved to eight The other one comes to you at 14 points of bludgeoning damage, halved to seven. It looks very, very angry and very frustrated with the current circumstance. But you take each blow to
the chest, showing off that strength you normally would do to something of your kin and ilk, even though it’s not really living, old habits are hard to break. Finishing its turn, three resistance members rush into its side, as it’s now turned to face you with its broken leg. Rushing in, strike it. Hits, hits, hits. All have short swords out and they’re just stabbing it in the side of its body now that they have this opening and this distraction in the current moment. Five, five, five, which is 21 points of slashing damage TRAVIS: Damn MATT: From all three of them just stabbing it with a blade in the side. That ends its turn, bringing it to the top, Pike, you’re up LAURA: Go Pike! ASHLEY: Wait, I rolled a six! MATT: Yeah. Now it’s your turn ASHLEY: It’s already my turn? MATT: Yep, everyone else went. It’s your turn ASHLEY: Okay. So I’m going to Guiding Bolt MATT: Okay ASHLEY: That guy. Or wait, is anybody– where are you at? SAM: He’s right there, but go ahead. Go ahead, Pike ASHLEY: All right SAM: Light him up MATT: You got this LIAM: Friendly fire just turns Grog on TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m just getting a warm-up right now MATT: So go ahead and make a ranged spell attack Roll a d20 and add your spell attack modifier SAM: Most of his damage comes from behind ASHLEY: 17 MATT: Okay, are you casting it at 1st level or a higher level? ASHLEY: I’ll cast it at a four MATT: Okay. All right. And what’d you roll? TRAVIS: 17 MATT: 17 definitely hits, so go ahead and roll 7d6 radiant damage MARISHA: What? SAM: Wait, what? LAURA: How did we not have Pike with us this whole time? MATT: 7d6 radiant damage TRAVIS: Vaporize this motherfucker. (laughs) Cross the streams! (laughter) SAM: Oh no, Grog, that means you’re going to get that much damage TRAVIS: But I’m a good person MARISHA: Yeah, it’s radiant, it should do more against him MATT: Actually, this is a single-target spell, there’s no radius to this MARISHA: Single attack. All right MATT: What’s your total damage? ASHLEY: 24 MATT: 24 points of radiant damage ASHLEY: Yes MATT: Okay. So as you stand there for a second, you pull your holy symbol up, kind of putting your shield to the side, and as you release your hand out in front of you, this beam of divine energy streaks out, slamming into the zombie giant. As it hits, it continues to burn like a stream into its body, searing the flesh in a path as it does. As it impacts, it leaves this glowing, pulsing divine symbol across its chest of Sarenrae. The next attack against it has advantage SAM: From Pike or from everybody? MATT: No, the next person to attack it gets advantage TRAVIS: Did I take any damage? MATT: No, no, she was very precise with her impact on the giant. All right, do you want to move on your turn at all, Pike? Stay where you are, or do you want to move close to it? ASHLEY: Where am I, sorry? LAURA: Oh, can you not see? You’re far away ASHLEY: I can’t see very well. I’ll stay MATT: Okay, you’ll stay where you are. Okay, you keep your distance from it, let Grog do his thing Okay, that brings us to the top of the round Grog, Scanlan, you guys are up again TRAVIS: Would you like to go? SAM: Next attack has advantage, I defer to you I’ll hold my roll TRAVIS: Sweet. If he’s starting to lean down, I want to take his head and turn it into a tee-ball target MATT: (laughs) Okay MARISHA: Don’t forget about your weapon master thing TRAVIS: Yeah, but then he gets advantage MATT: The thing is, you can use the minus five to hit plus ten to damage MARISHA: Yeah, that one MATT: It’s what he’s been doing TRAVIS: I didn’t do it on the last one. Let’s do it! Why not? Okay. We’ll do great weapon master We’ll use it on that one SAM: Oh, you have advantage too LAURA: Yeah, you have advantage TRAVIS: That’s even worse MATT: There you go LAURA: No, that was better TRAVIS: 16? MATT: 16 hits TRAVIS: Oh good, okay MATT: Once again, big target, not very hard to hit, just has a lot of hit points TRAVIS: 16 again MATT: 16 also hits TRAVIS: That’ll work. 26 MATT: All right. All three hit TALIESIN: Kill it with fire TRAVIS: Kill it with fire. Sorry. Ten, 11, 21– LAURA: Plus another ten for great weapon– TRAVIS: I did it, yeah. That was 11 plus ten MATT: Okay TRAVIS: 15, so 25 MATT: 25, all righty LIAM: Can these actors do addition? MARISHA: I know. (laughs) TRAVIS: 18, 23, 33 MATT: 33 points of damage MARISHA: Holy shit. Nice! MATT: All right. So as you swing the hammer upward, (whack) it hits along the side of its skull and you can see its skull actually cave in and crack a bit, bone and flesh scraped away. Where it cracks, you can see a bit of black brain mass begin to leak through. Using
that, you spin the hammer around and hit it again the same place, (whack) finding the weak point, this time. Just the anger to smash through (impact sound) It caves inward, and you can see bits of bone jam into its one semi-functioning eye. Its head now loosely pushed in on one side The jaw hangs a little bit loose. The third strike, you come down, (whack) hit it from the other side. The jaw dislodges and goes flying off TRAVIS: Dibs! (laughter) MATT: But it’s still standing LAURA: Without a head?! MATT: His head’s still there. His jaw is dislodged. The lower half of his jaw is missing It’s just this open part. His tongue dangling loosely out of the bottom. Part of its head caved inward, just (deep zombie groan) TRAVIS: Shove my hand up your skull and work you like a sock puppet! (laughter) MATT: Are you going to stay where you are, Grog? TRAVIS: Yeah MATT: All right. Scanlan, you’re up SAM: How far can I move? MATT: You can move 25 feet, so five squares SAM: 25? That’s it? MATT: You’re a little gnome, dude. You have little legs SAM: Can I get next to Grog? Can I get near Grog? Can I get at an angle where I won’t hit Grog with lightning? MATT: You can, but at pretty much every angle, you’re going to hit somebody aside from the giant SAM: Oh, I don’t care about those guys (laughter) SAM: I guess I should. Pike’s with me. I’ve got to do this right. Damn it! (groans) If only you weren’t here, Pike. Pike, don’t look! MATT: What are you doing? LIAM: You shoot it at an angle up at his head. Up into the sky SAM: All right. I will try to hit him with a Lightning Bolt, but miss as many people as possible MATT: He’s tall. He’s down a little bit because of the impact that Grog gave, but at a higher angle, you could probably hit him without hitting the other guy SAM: Okay. I will angle up. This time, I would like the lightning to come from my ass MATT: You’re William Wallace-ing it SAM: Yes. And I’ll just lightning him at normal lightning damage MATT: All right, so 8d6 damage. Does not make its saving throw with a three LAURA: How can you even aim like that, Scanlan? SAM: Oh, I have practiced aiming things with my ass in this campaign MATT: Very true. Sadly SAM: (counts quietly) 28 MATT: 28 points of damage. All right. (lightning crash) The bolt of lightning shoots off into the sky, arcing through its body. You can see where part of its neck muscle was torn, it fuses into its shoulder from the impact of the bolt. (moans) Almost falls over from the blast. However, it catches itself and (grunts) gets right back up It’s looking pretty rough, but it’s still keeping itself there, yeah SAM: What? I just farted lightning on him! MATT: That ends your turn? SAM: I’ll inspire Pike. I’ll turn to her and I’ll say, (sings) I wish they all could be cleric gnomian girls (laughter) MATT: All right, Pike. You get a d10 inspiration dice from Scanlan, a voice you’ve longed to hear for some time, as your friendship has been so far away. Take your 1d10 LAURA: Hear that, Scanlan? Friendship SAM: Friendship? Aw, man MATT: All right, so on the zombie giant’s turn, it recovers from the bolt of lightning, looking at this large target in front of it, it sees this tiny little morsel and you see it brings up its leg that’s partially destroyed and (heavy footsteps) begins to move forward just to there, to get you within range. It’s going to move a little closer. It gets two attacks of opportunity from the guards behind it SAM: Two? TALIESIN: I was about to say, the guard is there LAURA: Against it. Against it MATT: That somehow actually misses with a two That does hit, though, so it takes– oh, nice– eight points of slashing damage from one of the guards that, as it runs by, just swings out and slashes across its thigh. As it comes up towards you, it (zombie groan), its tongue dangling out, this horrible gurgling sound coming out of what is now technically its open throat. As it brings its club upward– SAM: As my reaction, I bring up my shawm– it’s a horn– and I blow the note. The note is like Dumb and Dumber, the sound he makes? (off-key horn noise) That most annoying sound. (off-key horn noise) And mash all my fingers down MATT: Okay. Is this your– SAM: This is my trying to– Cutting Words! MATT: Cutting Words? Okay. All right, well it rolled a 21 to hit. For Cutting Words, you roll a d10 and subtract that from the attack roll, right? SAM: What is this? TALIESIN AND MARISHA: That is a ten MARISHA: Big money, no whammies SAM: One MARISHA: Fuck! (laughter) MATT: So, 20. Does that hit? SAM: That hits MATT: All right, so (off-key horn noise, ping) (laughter) MATT: (laughing) Horrible shrieking sound SAM: Oh, my shawm! MATT: You take 20 points of bludgeoning damage from the first strike and your shawm is bent and
(weak horn noise) not quite– you’ll probably have to buy a new one or get that repaired. You almost lost a tooth in the process. As you’re like, (groans) from the impact, you pull back and you can feel already, the pulsing of the blood from the veins that have burst. It brings up its club one more time. (roars) SAM: Oh, god MATT: That is going to be a 13 SAM: That misses! (laughter) MATT: This time as it brings its club up, you see the arc, and you– SAM: I’m ducking down to work on the shawm (laughter) MATT: (whoosh) The swing is completely out of your view (laughter) MATT: All right, that ends its turn. The guards are going to rush forward, now. They technically have advantage on it because they’re flanking with you. A two and a three. Guys, you’re killing me Four and a six. The six actually still hits. Six and a 20. There we go. And a critical, so miss and then a hit and a critical TRAVIS: Nice natural 20 MATT: So that’s seven points of slashing damage from the first one, and then the critical. Ooh, nice. And a six on that one, so that’s 12, 14 points of slashing damage from the other guy. So both of the guards rush up. One of them misses entirely. One jams the blade to the hilt in the middle of its body and pulls out. The last one actually jumps up onto its back and takes the sword and slams it into its spine and drags it down. A really decent wound for anything not this big. On this size, it’s a little gash, still, but it left a nice sizable wound and it opens up and this horrible smell comes reeking out. The guy almost vomits as he backs up, just (groans). The rot escaping from the wound. That ends their turn Pike, you’re up TRAVIS: Put some hurt on this undead bastard ASHLEY: Okay. Where are you at, Scanlan? SAM: You mean physically or mentally? Because I’m in love with you (laughter) SAM: But I’m right next to Grog. Grog and I are right in front of the giant ASHLEY: Health-wise, where are you at? SAM: Oh, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, baby ASHLEY: Okay, so I’m going to go up to the giant, where the open wound is, where that guy just broke it open. I have Sprinter’s Boots, if I can’t get all the way up to it MATT: Yeah, you’ll have to use those to get up to him ASHLEY: Okay, I’ll use Sprinter’s Boots MATT: All right ASHLEY: I’m going to use my mace, and I’m going to start ripping where that wound is MATT: Actually, the open wound would be around here, but with Sprinter’s Boots you can get there just fine, yeah. So you actually get around. All right, and you’re technically flanking with Grog, so you have advantage on these attacks MARISHA: Nice MATT: So go for it ASHLEY: Okay, so I roll– MATT: Roll to attack twice and take the higher of the two. I know you’ve been filming for a while ASHLEY: Roll the d20 twice? LIAM: Roll two times, take the higher of the two ASHLEY: 17 MATT: Okay, that’s the higher of the two? ASHLEY: That’s the higher of the two. I had a seven and a 17 MATT: Yeah, that definitely hits. Roll for the second attack because you can use your bonus action to strike because you’re a war cleric ASHLEY: Nine MATT: A total of nine? LAURA: Did you add it to anything? ASHLEY: Wait, am I supposed to add something? MATT: Add your attack bonus. Next to your weapon on your character sheet ASHLEY: Shit. Sorry, guys! MATT: It’s okay! You’re out of practice, girl It’s all good. You’ve been too busy being in someone’s Blindspot LAURA: You’re busy being in the lab ASHLEY: Oh, 17 again! MATT: 17 again. There you go. Both hit. Go ahead and roll the damage for the mace plus, if I recall ASHLEY: I think it’s 1d6 plus three. Plus seven if it’s an attack hit MATT: 1d6 plus three, yep. You also have a Mace of Disruption, don’t you? LIAM: Disruption. I think so, yeah MATT: What was the effect on that one? Do you have the item with you? ASHLEY: I do. Shit. No, I don’t have the papers SAM: Stolen on the subway on the way home from work ASHLEY: Guys, someone took it from me MATT: You also add an additional 1d8 damage to the first strike LIAM: 2d6 radiant damage. DC 15 wisdom save MATT: It’s not going to make that. It didn’t make that (laughter) LIAM: It’s now frightened of Pike until the end of her next turn SAM: Ooh MATT: Awesome. All right, so you’re rolling 1d6 plus three, plus another 1d8, and how much did you say for that? LIAM: 2d6 radiant damage MATT: Okay. So 3d6 plus three, and then an additional 1d8 for each strike SAM: Wait, what? ASHLEY: Wait, so one more time? SAM: Why is she so goddamn powerful? MATT: Undead, man LIAM: Cleric vs undead ASHLEY: You said 3d6? MATT: 3d6 plus three, plus an additional 1d8 radiant damage MARISHA: For every roll MATT: For both attacks, yeah MARISHA: For both attacks LAURA: Per attack ASHLEY: Fuck LAURA: This is the best ASHLEY: Okay MATT: Undead LIAM: We needed her from the get-go SAM: Matt, while she’s rolling, can you describe her hair at this moment? Is it whipping around? Is it in her face? Is it covering her eyes in a sexy, sweaty way?
TALIESIN: Matted with jam SAM: He’s ignoring me ASHLEY: Can I use my d10? An additional d10 from Scanlan, for the inspiration? MATT: Not for damage. That was just to hit ASHLEY: I’m getting carried away. Okay. 23 MATT: 23 on the first hit? ASHLEY: Oh, shit. I forgot the second hit! MATT: Yeah ASHLEY: Sorry! MARISHA: 23 on the first hit ASHLEY: Sorry, guys watching. Sorry LIAM: Bring the holy retribution MARISHA: They’ll understand LAURA: Oh, I’ve missed Pike so much MARISHA: Me, too ASHLEY: Oh, I’ve missed you, too MARISHA: I like your headphones, too, by the way LIAM: Kill, kill, kill ASHLEY: 21 LAURA: Yay! LIAM: All right, 44 MATT: All right. The Mace of Disruption actually has a different effect. It’s not about a frightened thing. If it has 25 hit points or fewer after taking this damage, it has to make a DC 15 wisdom saving throw, which it fails SAM: Which means? MATT: So, as you rush up along the side of it, your Sprinter’s Boots carrying you, this blur of divine gnomish energy. You see, through her somewhat shimmering, radiant form, the hair itself glistens against the rain. It almost doesn’t even touch. Somehow immaculate in the middle of combat You find it slow motion in your head, and for that brief moment, you remember how much it hurt to see her go and how happy you are to have her here However, you, in the middle of your battle trance, Pike, rush up, shield ahead. You take the mace and, seeing the open wound, slam the mace in there once (wham). As you hit, the actual undead flesh burns away from the impact, leaving this ashy swath of missing flesh in its body. The creature gives out this weird, gurgly bellow (roar). Using that moment, as it rears back, how do you want to do this? (cheering) MARISHA: She’s gone. She ran away. She took her headphones off and did a lap ASHLEY: Okay, I’m back. Oh my gosh MATT: The magical power of this is essentially destroying the creature, so describe this however you want to, in your radiant cleric form ASHLEY: Okay, I want him to just explode with a radiant glow MATT: Okay. As he reaches back, you see this foothold on its knee as it’s trying to keep itself aloft. You leap up, using your Sprinter’s Boots, onto one of its knees. Jump in the air, dropping your shield and two hands on your mace, you leap in the air, slam it downward. As the mace impacts on the front of its chest, there’s this brief moment of pause as it cracks into its flesh. Its head looks down at you, and there’s a burst of divine energy as his entire torso (explosion) rips open. What would be organs within that exposed, however, are all also turned to ash as the body (death rattle) dissipates and disintegrates, falling into a puddle of liquid, messy, muddy ash and bits and pieces of remaining giant there. As Pike lands on the ground, 3-point landing, mace in one hand. Walks over and picks up her shield and looks over her shoulder at Grog and Scanlan SAM: Can I faint? MATT: Yeah (laughter) SAM: Oh TRAVIS: He’s always doing that. Welcome back, Pike ASHLEY: (laughs) Oh boy. What the heck? MATT: The three soldiers who are now there, looking dumbfounded at this moment, step forward and– you look like fighters, except you have this glowing, divine entity amongst the three of you He steps forward. “If I might ask, who are you, and how did you do that?” TRAVIS: We’re the deliverers of this town. Go Spread the word. It all comes down tonight MATT: “You’re with the de Rolos?” SAM and LAURA: (quietly) Not tonight! TRAVIS: Tonight, tomorrow, tit for tat. Whatever MATT: You’re not there LAURA: He is! He’s there! SAM: I’m just waking up. “What? What’s going on?” TRAVIS: It goes down in the next– SAM: 24 hours TRAVIS: Don’t put a timeline on it. These things– it takes a little time MATT: “You’re with the de Rolos?” TRAVIS: Aye, with the de Rolos MATT: “Then let it be done. Thank you for the save. We’re going to gather our wounded and “prepare for the next attack.” SAM: Prepare. Wait for our signal. Spread the word MATT: “All right. Men! Come!” And the three of them rush off. They gather up a few of their friends who are further down the road, all groaning and wounded, getting up and putting their arms over their friends’ necks. Gathering the dead and pulling them off the middle of the road. You notice as they’re pulling them off the road, each one of their dead friends, they’re actually pulling out torches and lighting fire to their corpses TRAVIS: Yeah, they don’t want them to come back SAM: Should we loot? Should we loot them, first? (laughs) That would be in poor taste
MATT: So what are you guys doing? TALIESIN: Check the body for secrets TRAVIS: Do we want to stay, or do we want to head back towards the other three? SAM: We should start heading back. We probably won’t get there in time. Wait, Percy said to meet in the west TRAVIS: That’s right. We should head to the west, to the wall. To the city wall SAM: We’ll head west to our appointed meeting spot LAURA: Wild, wild west MARISHA: Vaguely west SAM: As we go, I’m looking at clotheslines for any sort of beret type of a hat (laughter) MATT: Roll perception TRAVIS: Can we roll hit dice at any time during the day? MATT: Only during a short rest TRAVIS: Got it SAM: 13 MATT: 13. Not in this weather. Not in this city SAM: A yarmulke? Anything? MATT: Nope. Whitestone? Not really a beret kind of people SAM: I’m a little thing. I have a little head Maybe it could be just a shoulder pad MATT: Like a sock. Sure! There’s also no laundry left out during the middle of a rainstorm SAM: All right, fine TRAVIS: Maybe they’re terribly irresponsible MATT: It could be. Unfortunately, at this moment, no. You are unable to see any sort of a beret or could-be-fashioned-into-a-beret-type clothing piece TRAVIS: No Dust of Tracelessness this time as we head to the western wall MATT: Oh, Grog’s getting bold! TRAVIS: We’re getting bold! MATT: All right, so as you guys go rushing towards the western side of the city to meet up with the rest of the group, the rest of you, rushing past the center of the town square, you go running through the rain to the far side. You can now see the form that you originally saw, Vax. One of these giants has been pushed back. As you get all the way to the eastern side, you’re actually outside the city now; you’re pushing into the forest on the outskirts. On the raised hill amongst this part of the town, just outside the wall, there is the temple of Pelor in the center of the large graveyard You can see that this zombie giant has been pushed back. You can just barely see the crest of him currently slamming some sort of large metallic weapon around, right over the treeline, as you approach the outside gate of the graveyard itself LIAM: I’m going stealth LAURA: I Hunter’s Mark him MATT: Okay. What’s the range on Hunter’s Mark? LAURA: That’s a good question. It doesn’t say LAURA AND TRAVIS: 90 feet MATT: 90 feet. You’re probably going to have to get a little bit closer LAURA: Okay, I Hunter’s Mark him as soon as I can MATT: Okay, good to know. You guys all going stealth right now, or are you all rushing in? LAURA: I’m just going to rush in MARISHA: Yeah, let’s run. I’m just running Keyleth’s running MATT: Okay. The gates are slammed open; part of the metal’s bent inward, like whatever was pushing the giant back at this point had slammed through the gate TALIESIN: Hey, Vax? LIAM: I’m gone, man TALIESIN: Oh, you’re gone LIAM: Well, I rolled a 23. Am I stealthed? MATT: You feel pretty stealthy TALIESIN: You have an earring, though. If he’s on his ass, you have a better chance of hitting him, correct? LIAM: Yeah, that sounds good TALIESIN: Good to know MATT: All right, so as you guys all rush into the center here, looking about, you can see, this hefty graveyard that you visited about two days ago: all of the graves are open. All of them are excavated and open, and you’re starting to see where they’re pulling a lot of these undead from TRAVIS: That’s just rude MATT: However, many of them being armored and armed means it wasn’t a direct transition. They were probably pulled from here and given weapons elsewhere. But that’s the first thought that catches your attention as you rush in here Rain pouring down, the clapping of thunder in the distance. You can see, there are six of these soldiers that are currently hacking away at this one giant that’s being pushed up towards the edge of the temple right now. It looks like it’s cornered, but it’s lashing out like a wild animal Roll initiative, folks SAM: Initiative, initiative MARISHA: Damn it! It’s the second one I’ve rolled in a row TALIESIN: I am a monster. I am a monster! LAURA: I’ve got to retire this one for a while TRAVIS: You literally are a monster TALIESIN: I have really high initiative LAURA: Did I already Hunter’s Mark him now? MATT: You can now, yes LIAM: And Matt? As we ran, I wanted to split off from the group and go up along the side MATT: Along the side this way? Okay, so you’ll be over here LAURA: I leap off Trinket as we get close MATT: Oh. (chuckles) All right, so 20 to 25? Anybody? 20 to 15? LIAM: 19 TALIESIN: Oh, I’m sorry. 26
TRAVIS: “Oh, I’m sorry. 26.” LAURA: “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention 26.” SAM: “Oh, I was reading a book. Sorry.” TRAVIS: Come on, Shadow Turd TALIESIN: This is going to be hilarious LIAM: That’s what they call me TALIESIN: I’m going to do something I’ve never done before MATT: That brings us to– Keyleth, what did you get? LAURA: Oh no! Ten MARISHA: Yeah, I’m distracted MATT: All right. The image of this whole thing– even though it looks like it’s currently surrounded, its giant form, barely damaged at this point, is still a very ominous thing that strikes a bit of fear in your heart, causing you to hold back on your initial assault. And also worrying about not knowing how the rest of your party is doing. Percy, you start this off right now TALIESIN: Pull out Bad News MATT: Okay TALIESIN: I’m going to take aim, and I’m going to wait for it to raise its club hand up. It’s holding a club? MATT: Actually, from this view, you can see it’s actually a very large morningstar TALIESIN: It’s a very large morningstar? Drop that. I’m going to have him drop the morningstar Aimed shot MATT: All right MARISHA: Come on, Percy roll! He’s got shitty AC TALIESIN: Thankfully, it’s got shitty AC. 16? MATT: 16 does hit TALIESIN: Drop it MATT: All right, so as you get down to the ground, (gunshot blast) the echoing explosive shot fired from the Bad News slams up as it lifts its morningstar in the air. Two of its fingers get blown off its hand, and the morningstar tumbles (boof) onto the ground, nearly crushing one of the guards nearby, who barely manages to sidestep as it (boof, boof) lands on its side right outside the temple of Pelor. Well done TALIESIN: Next shot, I’m taking a sharpshooter shot. I’m reloading MATT: Yep, reload with your second attack TALIESIN: Taking a sharpshooter shot MATT: All right TALIESIN: 15? MATT: 15 hits TALIESIN: And this is also an aimed shot. Sorry, I spent another grit. So sorry for not saying that I’ll do my damage and then tell you. It was an aimed shot to the legs, so that’s– oh my god. 16, 26, 32 points of damage, and it needs to make a constitution saving throw MATT: Okay. What’s the DC on it? TALIESIN: Oh my god, this is insane. DC equals eight plus your proficiency modifier plus your dexterity modifier? MATT: Yeah TALIESIN: Proficiency modifier is four, dexterity modifier is– MATT: So, 18 TALIESIN: Yeah, 18 MATT: All right. It rolled a 16 and has a plus four modifier on constitution, so it makes the save TALIESIN AND MARISHA: Damn it MATT: Sorry TALIESIN: That’s okay. I still did a ton of damage MATT: Yeah. (explosion) The blast took a chunk of its physical form. Splatters against the side of the temple. That ending your turn. It, having no hand at its disposal, it glances over with this slow turning head. (groans) Reaches over and grabs a big piece of the stone rubble that was destroyed from the corner of the temple. Picks it up over its head (grunts) and lobs it at you across the way. (whoosh, whoosh, whoosh) MARISHA: (groans) MATT: That’s going to be a 21 to hit TALIESIN: Oh, that hits MATT: That hits? You take 28 points of bludgeoning damage and have to make a strength saving throw TALIESIN: Just strength saving throw? MATT: Yep TALIESIN: No, I rolled a one MARISHA: Fuck! MATT: So it slams into you and knocks you off your feet, prone from the sheer impact. It rests on part of your arm and you have to (grunts) work hard to push it off. That will end its turn TALIESIN: How much damage did it do to me? MATT: 28 TALIESIN: 28? MATT: 28 points of bludgeoning damage. That ends its go. Vax, you’re up LIAM: I’m watching everything unfold. I see my sister roll up. I hold MATT: Okay. Vex? LAURA: I say, brother. You remember that giant a few years back? LIAM: I remember that giant LAURA: You’re up. And I shoot two arrows for my two attacks. One into his thigh and one into his breast, right here MATT: Okay, go for it. Roll for two attacks LIAM: Ooh LAURA: I don’t know which ones to go with! SAM: They both fail LAURA: They both hit. They’re both 24s MATT: Both 24s? LIAM: Identical MATT: Both hit, yeah. Roll damage for each LAURA: All right. That’s so crazy!
TRAVIS: Same thing LAURA: Yeah. Plus 14 is… 26? 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, plus Hunter’s Mark for both MATT: 2d6 on top of that LAURA: 33, 37 points of damage MATT: 37 points of damage. (arrows flying and landing) It slams into the knee itself, pushing out the kneecap a little bit from the side of its softened flesh. The other one (boof) sticks and disappears into its torso. You don’t even see the impact. It pushes through the flesh and vanishes into its very large– LAURA: Wait, the whole arrow goes in? I wanted to leave some of it out MATT: Okay. We’ll say for the piece of impact here. Okay, roll a strength check TALIESIN: I believe in you MATT: This is control over your strength on this one LAURA: 21 MATT: 21? What did you roll? LAURA AND LIAM: 19 MATT: What’s your strength? LAURA: Oh, that’s saving throw. Wait. Wait, yeah! Oh, damn it. 17 MATT: 17. I was going to say, you have minus two strength. I know that LAURA: Sorry MATT: It’s okay. That’s still enough. Gauging, pulling back on what little bit of focus you have as far as restraining. You’re good at aim; restraining is something you have difficulty with But you release the arrow, hitting at a very defined mark, shattering part of its rib there in the front, and the arrow sticking out by about a good six inches or so MARISHA: Nice LIAM: I start running. Am I within 30 feet? It’s hard to tell from here MATT: You are not LIAM: All right, so I hit one ankle against the other on my boots and everything slows down around me a little bit, and I double my speed and run towards it MATT: Did you use your Boots of Haste at the end of last session? LIAM: I don’t know SAM: It’s been a long day. We’ve had three sessions MATT: I feel like you used it LIAM: If there’s doubt, then I can’t do it. All right, I still run at it MATT: You could use a bonus action to dash, don’t forget, as a rogue LIAM: That’s what I do. He’s surrounded by people, right? So, I’m going to run up to him and I’m going to start swinging up the arrows on his chest and get up to his head MATT: Okay. So you run up, planting a foot on its thigh, leap in the air, grab onto the arrow that Vex left in its chest, whip upward, and while you’re in the air towards its face, go ahead and make your attack TALIESIN: Yeah, Legolas MATT: You only get one attack because you used your bonus action to dash LIAM: Yeah. Never mind. Nine is a 20 MATT: You do have advantage on this, if you wish to roll. You technically have him flanked with the other guy LIAM: That’s a 26 MATT: That hits, definitely LIAM: Yeah, because he’s surrounded. All right, so I’m up on his shoulders at this point. One plus seven is eight, plus ten, 11, 16, that’s 21, 23 MATT: 23 points of damage? LIAM: Yeah, with Flametongue MATT: All righty. So as you leap into the air, you bring the blade, slam into the center of its face, over one of the eyebrows. It slams into the skull, and using your weight, you tear down, dragging the blade across its face. The bone is brittle underneath its flesh, and it hacks part of its face open. The bone and teeth immediately become visible. Its jaw clenches and actually clamps onto your blade as it reaches the bottom of its face and you catch yourself there for a second, the horrible scent of its rotting flesh hitting your body. You manage to take your foot up, push off, pulling the blade out from under its toothy grasp, and you land on the ground right beside it. Big old jagged gash in the side of its face LIAM: Right MATT: Cool LIAM: That’s it MATT: All right. Now the rest of the guards are going to go TRAVIS: Guards TALIESIN: Guards MATT: Oh, natural 20. These are the resistance members TRAVIS: I haven’t had a natural 20 in the game LAURA: Ever? TRAVIS: In a long time. Except when I head-butted a fomorian TALIESIN: Would you like to borrow my die and see if it does anything? TRAVIS: No, you keep your Golden Snitch LAURA: I think it’s just you SAM: Keep your cheated die all for yourself, there TRAVIS: Harry Potter MATT: 21 points of damage for the non-criticals TALIESIN: It’s hollow LAURA: What is he doing? What’s happening over there? MATT: So, all the guards now seeing this opening and these sudden heroes rushing in to attack it use this opening. Some have shortswords, some have spears. They start jamming them into its sides, beginning to take chunks out of it and basically scraping away its form, its mass that is keeping it aloft through this necromantic enchantment That ends their turn. Keyleth, you’re up MARISHA: Okay, so you’re on him LIAM: I’m not MATT: Landed beside him now, after he pulled the blade out of its face LIAM: I’m right below his undead dinger MARISHA: But there’s a ton of people surrounding him MATT: Correct SAM: So light him up MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to kill everybody if I start bringing down bolts of lightning. So I’m
going to move up a little bit, to where I’m within 30 feet of him. Over here or something? MATT: That’ll put you just at 30 feet MARISHA: Can I see Vax? MATT: Yeah, you can barely see Vax. Vax is hard to see, period, but you can barely see Vax at this point MARISHA: Okay LAURA: It’s night. He’s in black MARISHA: So, looking at the giant and realizing that if I bring lightning down, I’ll just start electrocuting everybody around, I meditate for a second and go super calm and start casting Heat Metal, and I start meditating on Vax’s daggers MATT: Okay MARISHA: So your daggers are going to do an extra 2d8 damage. And he’s up against a wall, correct? MATT: He’s currently up against the edge of the temple, yes MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to use my bonus. I’m running fucking low on spells. Fuck, I don’t want to do it. I’m going to do my bonus action to cast Grasping Vine MATT: Just so you’re aware, Heat Metal does 2d8 damage to him for holding onto it. It doesn’t do additional damage LIAM: I say we move forward MATT: Okay LAURA: You’re going to just take it? LIAM: It’s done. She cast it. Let’s go on MATT: Just letting you know for future reference MARISHA: Okay. It’s because it worked that way in Pathfinder. I used to do that with Grog’s axe all the time SAM: Stupid Pathfinder LAURA: But you also had to touch his axe MATT: So Vax, you immediately take 2d8 points of fire damage LIAM: Yes sir MATT: And you have to make a constitution saving throw vs her DC, or you drop both of your daggers LIAM: (weak laughter) Okay SAM: It’s fun MARISHA: Thanks, Sam TRAVIS: I’m laughing LIAM: What am I doing? MATT: Make a constitution saving throw. What’s the DC on your spells? MARISHA: My spell save DC? 18 LIAM: Fuck a duck, that’s hot! MATT: Both daggers just drop to the ground. As they both slam into the mud, (sizzling sound) MARISHA: I’m like, yeah. We’re going to hurt this motherfucker so bad MATT: She’s not even watching. She’s just concentrating on it And then with your bonus action? MARISHA: Bonus action, I’m going to wrap him up with a Grasping Vine and try to restrain him MATT: Okay, so you open your eyes MARISHA: I’m like, man, I’m such a fucking badass right now. What am I doing? MATT: So you’re going to restrain him with a Grasping Vine MARISHA: Yeah. I think he has to save against it MATT: Yeah, make a dexterity saving throw or be pulled. It doesn’t restrain, it just pulls them towards the vine. Since he’s already against the wall, you can pull him away or toward SAM: Nothing you do does what you want it to do MARISHA: Fucking fail MATT: Read the spells! The information’s right there! SAM: So you’re pulling him towards you? LAURA: You can pull him towards the ground, can’t you? MARISHA: Yeah, can I pull him towards the center of the earth? MATT: Because of his– sure SAM: That’s a no MATT: All right. He fails on the DC. That’s a total of ten. We’ll say for the time being, he is considered grappled SAM: Nice! MATT: You did something MARISHA: Thanks, man MATT: You’re welcome MARISHA: Man, I’m so cool right now. I’m concentrating so hard! MATT: You finish concentrating, you release the Grasping Vine, it pulls a little hard to the ground. You see its form go (groans). It doesn’t look very happy, and you see Vax going, (gasps) There are these little cylinders of steam rising up from the ground where his daggers are currently (sizzling noise) MARISHA: And she’s like, well, deal with it! It’s going to be awesome! MATT: That ends your turn. We’re back to the top of the round. Percy, you’re up TALIESIN: I’m pinned and annoyed. I’m shooting him in the face MATT: Okay, so you’re prone TALIESIN: Am I prone? MATT: You’re prone. The boulder knocked you prone TALIESIN: Okay, can I use my movement to get up? MATT: You can. You get up and use half of your movement TALIESIN: (grunts) I get up, shake it off, pull up for another shot. Shooting at his face. I’m reloading, shooting at his face MATT: You’re reloading and then shooting TRAVIS: Bad News or Pepperbox? TALIESIN: Bad News. I’m doing the same thing I was doing before, so that’s eight plus seven 15 to hit? MATT: 15 does hit TALIESIN: 15 hits, so that’s… ugh. That’s 20 points of damage MATT: All righty TALIESIN: And now he has disadvantage on his attacks for the next round MATT: Okay, so this is the headshot? TALIESIN: Yeah MATT: Okay TALIESIN: And just because I’m feeling like a jerk, I’m burning an action surge. Forget it Reloading– oh, I’ve actually– MATT: You’ve already used your action surge for the day TALIESIN: No, it’s a short rest MATT: Oh, it is a short rest? Yeah, go for it TALIESIN: I checked. I’m being good. That’s 11 That hits. I’m out of grit points
MARISHA: Kill something TALIESIN: 32 points of damage MATT: All right TALIESIN: Reload, fire again That also hits MATT: His AC is eight, by the way. It’s a big heaping pile of hit points. It’s not hard to hit TRAVIS: Pile of undead goo MATT: You’ve attacked it enough that you gather it’s pretty easy to hit TRAVIS: Yeah, there was a 12 and I was like, what? TALIESIN: 14, 24, 30 points of damage. And now I’m going to use my bonus action to heal MATT: All righty. Go for it TALIESIN: Heal myself. That’s 19 points healed MATT: All right. Now the giant, pieces missing out of its body, looks around and it reaches down and grabs– yeah, it’s going to use one of its attacks and grab the morningstar, and with its second act it’s going to swing over towards you, Vax. You just slammed into its face with the dagger TALIESIN: Disadvantage MATT: Yes MARISHA: And he’s grappled MATT: An 11 and a one. Grappling just prevents movement, but yeah, he goes in and swings wide and you just duck out of the way, dodge off to the side. (boosh) It slams and gets stuck in the mud and there’s a (sucking noise) horrible sucking sound as it has to pull it out of the ground with all of its might. That ends its turn. This giant’s in a bad place. You’re up LIAM: What position is it in? MATT: It’s currently kneeled forward, just pulling its morningstar out of the mud LIAM: (pants) I reach down and I grab the scalding-hot daggers again, and I lift them up, and lunge and sink into its ribs MATT: Okay. You take 2d8 points of fire damage Roll it, Keyleth MARISHA: So does he, right? Because that’s kind of badass. Seven points of damage LIAM: Oh, you roll? Seven or eight, yeah MATT: You pick up the daggers, take the damage, lift them up to go in for the attack Roll for the attack LIAM: The first one hits. That’s a 30. And the second one is 17. And he’s still surrounded, so the first one is going to sneak attack his ass Two plus three, nine, ten, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17 MATT: All right LIAM: 17. On the second attack, Flametongue gets seven MATT: Seven, okay LAURA: Plus 2d8 for your fire damage LIAM: Oh, plus 2d8 for the fire damage MARISHA: Does he also get the fire damage? LIAM: That’s a yeah. If I get burned, he gets burned, right? MATT: I’ll allow it. That’s not usually how the spell works. I’ll allow it for this circumstance Since you’re taking the damage to do the attack, I’ll let it happen LIAM: All right. 14 MATT: Okay. So, as you’re holding the daggers with the searing pain, you reach up, slash both daggers down into the front of its body and you drag across, you can see its chest breaks open and it (groans) stumbles backward, the air expiring from its throat. (roars) It pushes up against it, holding onto that shred of undeath that it currently has in its body, not falling to your measly blows. That ends your turn. Do you want to move at all? LIAM: I didn’t move. Can I use a bonus action, at this point? MATT: You used a bonus action for your second attack LIAM: Second attack? Okay MATT: Yeah, because you’re not hasted. All right, go for it, Vex LAURA: Okay. I’m going to shoot him two times through my Blazing Bowstring, which I still have one left of MATT: First strike will be the Blazing Bowstring? LAURA: Yeah MATT: Okay LAURA: That hits. Second one hits, too MATT: All right LAURA: Okay! What’s the Blazing Bowstring, again? 1d10, okay LIAM: You’ve got a lot of papers in there LAURA: I know. I do have a lot of little papers Six plus seven is 13, 14, 15, plus fire damage 21, plus Hunter’s Mark. 22 for the first hit MATT: Hold on LIAM: Get it MATT: How do you want to do this? (cheering) LAURA: Oh, that feels so good. As he’s bent over, I want to– LIAM: You’re wearing the shirt, even LAURA: I know! I’m wearing the shirt! As he’s bent over and I just saw my brother attack him with fire, I hit him with fire again, straight through the eyeball that’s remaining, through the back of
his head MATT: Okay, so as you release the arrow itself, you can feel the warmth licking the side of your face as the arrow heats up. Release it. It shoots through the air like a tracer dart, just (arrow whizzing). The giant, which is currently reaching back– it has a palm out like it’s going to try to palm Vax after the attack. As it reaches up, (groans) it just (arrow whizzing) into the back of the eye, and as it sinks inside its head, (thud) there’s this dull thud sound, like the fire burst on the inside of its head. Its other eye (explosion) plumps out and hangs out the side as fire darts out from that open socket. Its jaw goes slack, and it begins to lurch forward towards you and the guy next to it. Both of you guys step back out of the way as it (moans, thuds) onto the muddy ground in front of you LAURA: (pants) MATT: Everyone takes a breath for a second LIAM: I start sticking my hands in a puddle LAURA: I run up with Trinket to the guards MARISHA: I go up to start seeing if I can salvage anything from this giant LIAM: Like my hands? MARISHA: Do I see Vax with his hands in the mud? MATT: Yes, you see him currently putting out his hands MARISHA: What did– what? LIAM: Could you fix these? MARISHA: Oh. Did it work, though? I’m sorry LIAM: Yeah, it worked, it’s good, but they sting a little bit MARISHA: Okay. I put my hands in his hands and cast Cure Wounds MATT: Okay MARISHA: I’m going to use it from my ring. My spell-slot ring MATT: What level? MARISHA: I’ll do level two MATT: Level two? Okay, so 2d8 plus six MARISHA: 12 MATT: So you heal 12 hit points LIAM: I heal. I also hold her hands for a second LAURA: I walk through and bust through their hands TRAVIS: There you go LAURA: I want to talk to the guards MATT: The guards who currently are checking to make sure it’s dead. They’re stabbing its body TALIESIN: Putting the guns away and walking over to the guards, as well MATT: Okay. You notice, they look like guards at first glance because the armor they’re wearing is the same type of armor that the guards you’ve encountered here wear, but they’re all, underneath the armor, wearing rags, farmer’s clothing, whatever’s available. It’s still uniform armor and weapon design to anyone who’s worked in Whitestone SAM: Are any of them in berets? MATT: You don’t know because you’re not there SAM: Damn it! LIAM: Are they unsullied? MATT: (laughs) LAURA: I put my hand on one of their shoulders and say, you showed great bravery here MATT: “Thank you. Thank you for coming and helping. That got a little hairy there, for a “minute. We didn’t lose any of our men, thankfully, and that’s thanks to you.” He reaches up for a second and wipes this black blood stuck to his chin from the fight. “So. What’s next?” LAURA: Now we rest up. You heal, and you get ready to attack tomorrow MATT: “All right. What time?” TALIESIN: Tomorrow at dawn, we take the castle MATT: “All right. Men.” TALIESIN: Spread the word LAURA: Dawn MATT: “Dawn. Dawn it is.” Sheathes his weapon. The other men stand up, and one of them makes one final stab into the body of the zombie, like, “Yeah. Take that.” They begin to walk back towards town MARISHA: Before he runs off, I tell him, “Tell everyone to look for the sign of “Pelor in the sky.” MATT: One of them goes, “Pelor. Right.” Three of them run back to the doorway of the temple, and they all stop for a second and give a silent prayer to themselves, and then join the rest of their crew as they go walking back towards the city MARISHA: What time is it right now? MATT: Right now? It’s hard to tell LAURA: Hopefully, it’s a while until dawn MATT: It’s about two hours past sunset LAURA: Oh, good. We’ve got time! That’s good LIAM: I pull out my Flametongue dagger and just look in two or three graves. I don’t know if there’s anything in there SAM: Are you trying to grave rob right now? MATT: Make an investigation check LIAM: They’re empty, man. That is a 15 TALIESIN: You’re literally going to steal from my great-grandfather? LIAM: I’m just looking TALIESIN: All right MATT: Glancing about, you notice that the coffins are still there at the bottom, but they’re all open. The lids are off, and they’re empty entirely. Whatever body is gone. Best you can glance about, the most that you can find, most of them are just laid to rest. One of them seems to be laid to rest with what looks to be a nice ornamental dagger of some kind that’s left to their side TRAVIS: Fucking do it LAURA AND LIAM: (laugh) MARISHA: It could be cursed TRAVIS: Do whatever you want. I’m not here LIAM: Are you giving me morality lessons? TRAVIS: I’m not even here TALIESIN: I’m going to check my family grave. The family crypt MATT: There actually is an undercroft in your castle TALIESIN: Oh, that’s right! LIAM: I want to drop down. I’m going to take a look at that, yeah LAURA: You’re going to go get the dagger? LIAM: I’m going to look at it LAURA: That ornamental dagger?
MATT: So you leap down into the grave LIAM: Tell me more about that dagger? MATT: From what you can see from up there, it just looks like a fairly nice dagger, it has a little like gold sheen to it, and looks like there’s gems encrusted in it from this distance LAURA: All right, go get it (laughter) LAURA: It looks shiny MATT: So you leap down into the grave, drop, your feet hitting against the wooden bottom of the coffin. Smells musty and it’s been rained in heavily, so it’s not as bad as it could be. It looks to be a pretty dagger. You reach for it and pick it up and look at it, it’s lightweight, it’s ornamental, it’s not actually more of a functional– LIAM: I want to make an arcana check LAURA: It’s ornamental LIAM: I just want to make an arcana check MATT: Go for it, go for it LIAM: It’s a 20 MATT: Natural 20? LIAM: No. 20 MATT: Okay. Take a look at it, there doesn’t appear to be enough of a rune structure even on this dagger to give it like a formal enchantment It looks ritualistic and ornamental. It’s probably worth a pretty penny, but it is not a– LIAM: I put it down and I pat it and I– MATT: Climb back up out of the grave LAURA: He doesn’t know! MARISHA: Can I salvage anything from the stone giant? LIAM: Tourist, I’m a tourist MATT: Go ahead and make a wisdom check, just roll a d20, add your six to it MARISHA: Just a wisdom check? MATT: Yep MARISHA: 12 total MATT: 12. Looking over the body, this entity and anything that would be functional on the stone giant’s body is far rotted and necrosis has taken hold on a lot of the body parts. Nothing here would be of use in any way, shape, or form. Plus stone giants don’t really have any magical components to their body, they’re just larger humanoids. What small trophies you could take from it, you could sell here and there for a little bit of change, are also rotted and corroded by its undead form that it wouldn’t be worth it LIAM: Their teeth are good for 1d8s, though MATT: (laughs) This is true. All right, so what’s the plan? LAURA: We should head west MARISHA: Head west, meet up MATT: All right. So you guys– LAURA: I take the little bit of Dust of Tracelessness that we had taken from Grog and I try to sprinkle it on our tracks as we go and cover up our tracks MATT: Okay. As you pull the dust out of your pouch, you look at it, and it’s turned to just sand. It seems that the Dust of Tracelessness is effective when only pulled and used directly out of its pouch– TRAVIS: By its designated flower girl MATT: If taken out remotely and left on its own for a while, it becomes magically inert LAURA: Well then, I use my ranger skills to try to make it look like our tracks are hidden TALIESIN: I know the city well enough to take us through a relatively– MATT: Yes. This is one of those few circumstances where Percy’s almost more helpful than you are as far as making your way through. The two of you together? Very helpful. You guys have been making your way through the city, making westward to meet up with the rest of the party against the wall on the western side of Whitestone. And with that, we’re going to go ahead and take a quick bathroom break, bring in some snacks. So hang tight, guys, we’ll be back here in just a minute LAURA: I love you, Pike! [break]
MATT: Welcome back, everyone. So. Picking up where we left off, eventually, the longest-traveling
group would be the one that went all the way to the Zenith, the temple of Pelor. Eventually, the
rain still heavily coming down, you guys keeping warm and out of the way to the far, far western wall, kind of keeping behind a bush. The rest of the party arrives, the gnomes and goliath barbarian waiting for you as you approach (laughter) LIAM: Taking your pee break now MATT: So. The rest of you guys gather, what are you doing? What’s your plan? TRAVIS: We’re against the wall? Should we stay in the treeline? LAURA: We need to hide SAM: How is everyone? Did you defeat your giant? LAURA: Totally did SAM: You know who defeated ours? Pike, because she’s the fucking bomb MARISHA: Pike, we’ve missed you so much SAM: Pike, come here and give me a hug! I give her a hug. What happens? MATT: Okay. (laughs) You go and hug her, and it’s one of those things where because her form, it feels like you’re grabbing almost a warm, energetic gelatin in a way, like her form isn’t purely physical SAM: Just how I remember you! Warm gelatin MATT: And there is this hot wind that wraps around her and her hair is drifting a little bit. There’s something, her physical form is very strange here MARISHA: How did you get here, Pike? How did you know? ASHLEY: Well, as you guys know, I’ve been working at the temple and it’s been very hard work (laughs) And I, I just, I think about you all constantly, and every day, I felt a heaviness, and
I’ve had these visions of terrible things, and I felt a disturbance in the Force (laughter) ASHLEY: But today, it became too much MATT: You had received a letter from Allura, from Emon, if you recall ASHLEY: I received a letter! (laughter) ASHLEY: I received a letter from Allura, and I felt that you guys– are you guys making a decision or something here in Whitestone? SAM: Many decisions. We’ve decided to take down this horrible foe, and Percy’s been grappling with a lot of decisions as we’ve gone LAURA: Pike, maybe you could help him MARISHA: Yeah, can you take a look at him, Pike? I believe it’s out of my realm of understanding TRAVIS: Actually, Percy’s just fine. Maybe she looks at him after the Briarwoods TALIESIN: Well MARISHA: There was a long pause ASHLEY: That was a very long pause TRAVIS: Percy, how are you feeling? TALIESIN: Honestly, if Pike weren’t here, I’d say fine, but… (sighs) How do you think I am, Pike? ASHLEY: Well, most of my… my heaviness and visions were about you TALIESIN: (sighs) ASHLEY: I’ve been in deep prayer and meditation, and I know you guys were in a very dark place, and I prayed that Sarenrae would send me to you. And so here I am, sort of as an avatar, but I’m here, and I want to help in any way that I can. I just know something’s off, and I don’t quite know what that is yet MATT: Her form shimmers for a second, almost like the energy that keeps her corporeal in this location for a moment flickers, and then she is restored to her form. You get the sense that– MARISHA: This isn’t going to last long MATT: That she’s not actually physically here This divine projection is a channeling of Sarenrae’s power keeping her here for the moment LAURA: Damn, Sarenrae is really freaking powerful MARISHA: Yeah, I have a feeling she’s probably using a lot of energy to do this, too. Pike, do you know how much longer you can stay in this form, that you can stay with us? ASHLEY: I don’t know. This is the first time that I’ve ever done this, so I’m hoping that it will last a long time, at least to see you through TRAVIS: Oh, us, too LAURA: Us, too ASHLEY: (fake crying) TRAVIS: Hey, Pike. Do you want to take Percy’s temperature? LAURA: Should we find a place to hide first? ASHLEY: Yeah. We’re still in the open, right? TALIESIN: There’s a secret entrance to the castle to the west, in the woods. I think perhaps if we made our way there, we could– MARISHA: Get inside? TALIESIN: Camp out, perhaps. It would be a roof over our heads if we got there, and we could take care of anyone– SAM: Percy’s thinking very clearly. He’s fine LAURA: He’s rubbing his eyes a lot MARISHA: He’s had this weird cough for a couple of days now SAM: He’s allergic to cats or something TALIESIN: I’m not allergic to cats LAURA: Pike, he has black smoke coming out of his body all the time SAM: I have lightning coming out of my ass LAURA: Yeah, well, you choose to do that TALIESIN: Let’s make our way to somewhere quiet MARISHA: We’ll have her look at you there. I do a Gust to do that air umbrella thing around all of us MATT: That really terrible one that doesn’t work well? MARISHA: Yeah, the really terrible one. I’m doing that to help keep us shielded from the rain MATT: Okay. Are you guys coasting within the city’s walls, or are you moving outside of the city’s walls? LAURA: Outside of the city MATT: Okay. So you find your way a little bit southward– LAURA: Stealthing MATT: Stealthing, to make your way outside of the city, into the forest surrounding the outskirts of Whitestone. Make a stealth check, guys. This is without the plus ten bonus because you don’t have any more spells LAURA: I don’t TRAVIS: Yeah! Oh. Really? I get plus two to stealth? MATT: Grog? TRAVIS: 18 LAURA: Ooh. 20 LIAM: 23 SAM: 12 MARISHA: 17 TALIESIN: 15 with disadvantage MATT: Okay SAM: And Pike? LAURA: Pike, what did you roll for stealth? She’s an apparition! ASHLEY: I rolled a ten MATT: You rolled a ten? LAURA: Clang! ASHLEY: Ten
MATT: Okay TALIESIN: Clang, clang, clang MATT: All right. As you guys move into the forest, the boughs of the trees do help offset some of the rain, but there is still some rain making it through, and there is a heavy drip through the leaves you start pushing through. You make your way out, I’d say a good five minutes to the west of the city before you start heading northward, both Percy and Vex taking lead on this. You, being the natural stalker. You, knowing these lands quite well As Percy presses along, coughing and keeping his eyes peeled, you press on for about 30 minutes to the north. The rain begins to subside a little bit, and you can hear the occasional (cracking noise) sound of these strange growling, cat-like noises. You know that some of the indigenous creatures of the Sierras– TALIESIN: Do I know what this sound is? MATT: You’ve heard this before. It’s nothing terribly dangerous. They’re just natural cat-like creatures that live in the trees. Ocelot-like They’re indigenous to this region; that’s them communicating. It’s initially off-setting, but you keep pushing forward. I would have both of you guys make survival checks LAURA: (whispering) Survival checks? TALIESIN: I don’t think I’ve ever rolled that before MARISHA: Come on, city boy LAURA: Oh! I have advantage MATT: That’s true. And you would have advantage, actually, because you know this area LAURA: Really? Did that just happen? LIAM: Wow. She rolled two threes in a row LAURA: I’ve got to retire it. It’s so beautiful, and I keep trying it TRAVIS: It’s certainly the die, and not you in any way LAURA: It’s just been punishing me, as of late TALIESIN: 14 MATT: 14? Okay LAURA: Ten MATT: The two of you, working together on this– it takes you an hour or so before you eventually get further enough north and out of the outskirts of Whitestone where you begin to see the rising platform, the small central forest mesa that the castle Whitestone is built upon. You can see, through the heavy cloud cover, what little bit of torch light is visible from some of the castle interior in the distance. It’s this ominous dark shape outlined against the cloud cover above you LIAM: On that walk, while they’re leading the way, I quietly walk alongside Pike and fill her in on everything I have seen happen with Percival: the smoke coming out of him, the darker turn in his personality, the way that he branded that man Everything that I am worried about SAM: The cough LIAM: The cough. Everything, so that she’s filled in on his darker turn MATT: Okay. Did you get that, Ashley? ASHLEY: I did MATT: So, pressing on, eventually catching the edge of that mountain. That, to you, is the inclination; you know this area very well, spending most of your time living around this castle. You gesture for the rest of the group to follow you up towards the edge of this central mountain platform that the castle’s upon Eventually, coasting along the side– I want you to make an investigation check, Percy TALIESIN: 16? MATT: 16? Okay. Pushing forward, you spend a good 20 minutes walking back and forth. You’re pretty sure that this is where the entrance is, and looking along this area, you make your way to the northern side of this mountain. No entrance seems to be appearing to you. There’s no opening There’s no doorway. It was a cavern exit that was loosely hidden by a series of bushes that were clustered around it TALIESIN: It should be around here LAURA: Can I start taking a look around and see if I see anything? LIAM: All of us, yeah TRAVIS: We should be very careful. These two are good at using their brain muscles. Could be an ambush LIAM: 26 on perception LAURA: That’s way better than mine. 17 MATT: Okay. About ten minutes of you guys searching as you travel southward among this okay. You guys watch along the wall, and nothing seems to be catching your eye. You notice that there’s a portion of the mountainside that is looser rock. Everything here is solid, long-eroded through weather and time. There is one section that appears to have more of a crumbly, loose rock that forms the lower portion of the wall LIAM: Big guy, come here TRAVIS: What? LIAM: This is new. These haven’t been here long I’m not very strong; do you want to start hucking rocks? TRAVIS: Wait, say that again? LIAM: I am extremely fast and nimble and could totally fuck you up, but I can’t lift that much, including door jambs. Could you help me move these rocks? TRAVIS: I suppose. I go and I start moving rocks LIAM: You look very handsome in that beard MATT: Okay. Make an athletics check
MARISHA: (laughs) Oh shit TRAVIS: Never forget. 18 MATT: 18, okay. You go over and start pulling the rocks away. A lot of the ones at the very surface are pretty small and you’re pushing them aside and rolling off. Eventually, you start getting to the base of this area and you can see now, there are a cluster of bushes that have long died and are crushed under these rocks TALIESIN: Does this look familiar to me? MATT: This would be similar to the placement of where the bushes were that originally obscured the crawlspace that led into this tunnel TALIESIN: I think this might be it LAURA: Well, what happened here? SAM: Did they blow it? LAURA: Does it look like a cave-in, like somebody did it on purpose? MARISHA: Can I do a nature check to see if this is natural or man-done? MATT: Sure. Go for it SAM: “Man-done.” MARISHA: I think that’s a 21 MATT: 21? MARISHA: Yeah, 21 MATT: Inspecting this, the pattern in which it fell was very localized, which leads you to believe– MARISHA: I think this was blasted down MATT: Yeah, this was blasted or was intentionally done to demolish this exit as opposed to a natural fall. At this point in time, you’ve pulled through a few of the larger rocks, and you roll them over and you do reveal a small tunnel TRAVIS: Hey, look! I found a hole MARISHA: Good work, Grog MATT: About 15 minutes of pushing this stuff out of the way before you eventually find it, and it’s probably a good ten feet inward SAM: Can we get in it? MATT: It’s tight, but you can start moving in there LIAM: Scanlan, squish in there SAM: Well, we have two gnomes with us LIAM: She’ll light up the hole SAM: I hope so (laughter) SAM: I will shimmy in, just to see what’s down there MATT: Okay. You make your way into this lower tunnel. A bit sharp in there. Black as night; no light source. The ground itself is very dry, which is a nice change from the rather wet exterior awaiting you outside. It generally smells musty and seems disused. And very dark LIAM: I lean down and say, does it look like somewhere that we can rest for the night? SAM: Oi! I can’t see anything (laughter) SAM: You got a torch up there, or something? LIAM: I flip my Flametongue dagger over backwards and hand it to him through this little hole MATT: Okay. You take the dagger SAM: This feels so cool. It’s like a shortsword for me! (laughter) MATT: With the flickering light along the blade, it lights up the area. The tunnel widens up to roughly eight to ten feet wide and seems to curl forward before disappearing around a gradual edge about 50 feet ahead of you. It’s about six feet tall, so the taller of you folk are going to have to crouch in, but it’s about six feet tall, about eight to ten feet wide, and that continues to curl deeper in towards the mountain SAM: No one down here, but I don’t know how far this thing goes, and I don’t know how well it’s guarded TRAVIS: Are there trees around us? MATT: Yeah. No more than maybe five feet off this mountain line, the forest grows immediately dense MARISHA: If they’ve blasted in the entrance, I have a feeling– TALIESIN: I don’t think they’re expecting anyone from here MARISHA: They’re not expecting people LIAM: This was taken care of, in their minds. I say we squeeze Grog and Trinket in here SAM: And camp in the tunnel? LIAM: Yeah. I’ll go ahead a bit and take a quick peeky-poo TRAVIS: You don’t think they’ll patrol this area? LIAM: No LAURA: Does it seem like there’s cobwebs? Does it seem dusty and disused? MATT: If you crawl inside to look MARISHA: Are we inside? Let’s all crawl in MATT: As you guys all may your way inside, glancing about– make an investigation check MARISHA: I light up my hands SAM: I put Vax’s dagger in my back pocket. Cover it up with my shirt MATT: Okay. Make a sleight-of-hand check LAURA: 20 MATT: Okay. Yeah, there’s been no footsteps in here for quite some time SAM: Seven LAURA: This has definitely been disused. Disused? Is that a good word? TALIESIN: Abandoned LAURA: “Abandoned” is a better word MATT: As she’s saying this, you look over and Scanlan almost looks at you directly and goes like– He grabs your wrist and stops you LIAM: I use the other hand and I tweak his nose as hard as I can SAM: Not in front of Pike! (laughter) MATT: Dagger’s retrieved TALIESIN: Pike, can you take a look at this cough before we take a rest? MARISHA: Yeah, take a look at him, Pike TRAVIS: Are we in the tunnel? MATT: You’re in the tunnel right now TRAVIS: I grab some of the boulders and cover up the way we came in. Or just a boulder, and move it to the mouth of it. Or is it too big? MATT: You can move a few. There’s no boulders quite large enough to fully close it off. You can do it; it will take you a little bit of time, but you can do it TRAVIS: Yeah, just to cover it up a little MATT: Okay
ASHLEY: Are there two openings? The one that we came in, and then the rest of the tunnel? MATT: The tunnel continues and curves out of sight, about 50 feet in LAURA: But we blocked up the one we came through TRAVIS: Oh, Keyleth? Can you make a fucking bush grow in front of this thing? LAURA: Or can you put up a wall to where we don’t have to worry? TRAVIS: So if whoever was going by with those dogs while we were up in the trees the first night we got here comes by and sees a hole in the wall MARISHA: Okay TALIESIN: How many spells do you have left? MARISHA: (sighs) That’s the question. It depends on if we’re going to decide to– TALIESIN: I think we should take a rest LAURA: We have to rest, yes MARISHA: I’ll think about it LAURA: Okay MATT: Okay ASHLEY: Could I put a Guardian of Faith above us before we make our– SAM: Of course you can MATT: Let’s see how long that lasts for TRAVIS: A what? LAURA: A what? MATT: Yeah, it lasts for eight hours LIAM: We came to a land of evil without– MATT: Yes, you can LAURA: I can’t believe we came without Pike, ever ASHLEY: I’m sorry LAURA: Pike, stay with us forever ASHLEY: Okay LIAM: Or at least through next week MATT: All right, so as you guys are having this conversation, Pike grabs her holy symbol for a second, closes her eyes, and focuses, and the energy around her, that slightly drifting, ethereal divine energy, seems to shift away from her for a second and then coalesce into what looks like a floating, ghostly, armored entity that apparates in the air beside her. Her form once again becomes whole, and she looks towards it and gives it a nod, and the armored entity seems to acknowledge with a strange head nod and then turns towards the inner side of the tunnel and begins patrolling a small section of the tunnel on its own LAURA: Wow. Well, there you go ASHLEY: Okay LIAM: I think to myself, oh, that is badass (laughter) LAURA: I smack her on her little gelatin back and say, good work, Pike ASHLEY: (laughs) I go over to Percy. Percy, how are you? TALIESIN: I don’t know. I’ve had a cough, and I’m… complicated MARISHA: I did a check on him, Pike. His cough doesn’t seem to be anything natural or disease-related, so it’s nothing like a fever. Not a real one, anyway ASHLEY: Oh boy. Okay. Can I do any extra check on him? TRAVIS: Yep. Drop your pants MATT: You can make a medicine check on him LIAM: You’re getting the radiant digit ASHLEY: Did anybody already do a medicine check? MATT: You haven’t made one ASHLEY: All right. I’ll give it a go MARISHA: (quietly) Come on, Pike ASHLEY: 17 MATT: 17? Okay. You take a moment to inspect Percy, looking at his features, checking his pulse, and generally getting a sense of his life force in general. His eyes are sunken, his jowls are shadowed. From what you recall of Percy, he was always a seemingly-healthy, if on the thin and pale side, individual. Doubly more so than you’ve ever seen him. There is an unrest to his energy, and there is no physical, natural illness or discernible disease, but there is something unsettling about his presence that you’ve never sensed before ASHLEY: (sighs) Okay. Lesser Restoration, would that do anything in this situation? LAURA: What about Greater Restoration? MATT: You can try it. Lesser or Greater Restoration MARISHA: If you have a Greater Restoration, Pike– I don’t have it on me ASHLEY: Okay. I can try it. Can I try it? MATT: Yeah, if you want to ASHLEY: Okay MATT: So what are you casting? Lesser or Greater Restoration? ASHLEY: I’ll do Greater. Do you mind, Percy? TALIESIN: No. (sighs) No MATT: Okay, so Pike reaches up. You grab his face again, and you close your eyes and concentrate Her hands begin to glow with an extremely bright vibrance, even moreso than her gently luminescent form right now. It’s almost like there’s a blowtorch of radiant energy right around his jaw The rest of her form almost seems to put so much energy into it that her legs begin to dissipate and vanish, almost like she’s putting all of her energy into this moment, the rest of her body fading into the grasp You feel this warmth wash through your entire body, and for a brief moment, for the first time in a number of weeks, there’s a moment of serenity to you. Your eyes instinctually close, and for a second, you feel like you’re standing next to Pike in a void of darkness
As that warmth hits, Pike, you sense something there. You sense a seed of darkness. There’s something in him that you can almost reach out and grasp, and in that imaginative space, you do. You thrust your hand out and grab onto it, and it’s taut, and it’s fighting, but you pull and wrest it forth, and as you do, you feel it burn and dissipate. At which point, both of you guys open your eyes, breathe in succession with each other The energy fades from your hands and your form goes back to its full, radiant physicality You can remove a corruption point from yourself SAM: Ooh! LAURA: Yay! MARISHA: A corruption point? MATT: Yes SAM: He had two LAURA: Okay MATT: He’s still looking a little sickly, but definitely improved TALIESIN: Did I heal, as well? MATT: No, you just lose a corruption point MARISHA: So does that get rid of one of his weird ailments? SAM: He still coughs TALIESIN: I do feel better MATT: The cough is still there LIAM: I watched all of that, and when I saw him lean back into the earthen wall, I quietly back up and I’m going to go down the tunnel, like 50 feet, and see– MATT: Roll a stealth check SAM: Pike, that was incredible LIAM: 23 ASHLEY: What is a corruption point? MATT: You have no idea what a corruption point is, but you removed some point of corruption in his body TRAVIS: Can you do me next? My neck has been hurting for weeks ASHLEY: (laughs) LAURA: I do that to Grog. How’s that feel? How’s that feel, big guy? TRAVIS: Oh, it’s much better MATT: Almost like a small seed of sentient tumor, you removed from him TALIESIN: Should I randomize which corruption point vanishes? MATT: It’s a compounding thing TALIESIN: Oh, it’s compounding MATT: Yeah. They’re not specific ASHLEY: How many do you have? MATT: You don’t know. You have no idea ASHLEY: Sorry. I’m asking too many questions MATT: Yeah. How dare you? No, it’s fine ASHLEY: How do you feel, Percy? TALIESIN: I feel better. I feel more like myself (coughs) LAURA: But he’s still coughing TALIESIN: I’m still coughing, but I feel much better. Thank you MARISHA: What did you just do to him, Pike? ASHLEY: I just tried to find out what this is This is going to sound like a very weird question, but does part of you want to hold onto some of this? TALIESIN: It could be. I’m not quite finished yet We’ll see where we are tomorrow ASHLEY: Okay MATT: While this is happening, Vax has vanished ahead into the tunnel on his own. You guys look around and realize that he’s nowhere to be seen TRAVIS: Fuck him. I go to sleep (laughter) MATT: Okay. Vax, pushing ahead. Thankfully, in the darkness, you have a little bit of vision, limited as it is LIAM: From the glowing gnome? MATT: Make a perception check. As you turn around the corner, you lose the light source LIAM: 20 MATT: Okay. You continue around the edge, and the tunnel evens out for a bit and then goes straight, and then curves again to the left. Following that, it curves again to the right. You can keep going, or you can head back. You’ve traversed about 60 or 70 feet in this tunnel LIAM: 60 or 70 feet? I’m going to go another 60 or 70 feet SAM: Yeah! LAURA: Where the fuck are you? MATT: You keep pushing towards this tunnel and turn to the right. You travel a bit further forward, and as the tunnel makes another sharp right turn, you see all of a sudden where the dirt stops and there is solid, smooth stonework: a broken portion of what looks like the back side of a wall of some kind. You see nothing beyond it. It looks like there is a piece of stone something pressed against it, and looks like some other things are stacked, basically covering this entrance LIAM: I would like to just sit down on the ground and close my eyes and listen for a full minute and see if I hear anything MATT: Make a perception check LIAM: 21 MATT: 21. You take a minute, close your eyes, and take in all audio you can. Stillness. Quiet Nothing LIAM: Pretty good. I quietly walk all the way back, and walk behind the group, and I go, goosh! Look at that LAURA: I swear to Pelor, if you would have gotten us killed MARISHA: Where did you go just then? LIAM: I was like ten feet around the corner SAM: He was right here the whole time TALIESIN: I’m going to take care of a little business outside, and then we’ll seal up the
opening SAM: Excuse me? What are you doing outside? TALIESIN: I’m going to charge the Diplomacy glove MATT: It’s already sealed. Grog already sealed it TALIESIN: Grog already sealed it? MATT: Yeah. He pulled rocks into it and closed the exit LAURA: I glare at Vax and I lay down to go to sleep SAM: Can we do it here? TALIESIN: We can’t do it in here because it would make too much noise MARISHA: This room won’t fit my storm cloud SAM: Wait. Pike, do you have any sort of Cone of Silence, or anything? Do you have a Cone of Silence? MARISHA: Why? SAM: He’s going to make noise MARISHA: No, it’s not going to work LIAM: I’ve got this. I pick up two small, roundish, oval-shaped stones from the ground, and I slide them into Grog’s nostrils, plugging them up MATT: Make a sleight-of-hand check. Grog? What’s your passive perception? TRAVIS: Oh, ten MATT: Okay SAM: Where’s passive perception? LAURA: It’s under all your other attributes LIAM: 14 MATT: Okay. As you step away, there’s a (snort) as your nostrils are stopped up now, and the airflow is impeded partially from the way you’re used to You begin breathing heavily through the mouth in reaction TRAVIS: (loud snoring) LAURA: I wake up to the terrible– Ugh! What is that? Grog! TRAVIS: And I cough, and the stones shoot out of my nose back at Vax (laughter) TRAVIS: With a high velocity LIAM: I’m removing one hit point from my– MATT: Yeah. One beans you in the side of the temple TRAVIS: Covered in Grog “boge.” (laughter) TALIESIN: I’m sleeping LAURA: And the guardian that Pike conjured is guarding us? MATT: Is there, just keeping ever vigil for the next eight hours ASHLEY: Chilling LAURA: Let’s fucking rest! MARISHA: Who’s still awake? TRAVIS: Be careful when you go to sleep. Shit falls in your nose MATT: Are you guys taking shifts, or are you leaving it to the guardian? TRAVIS: Leave it to the guardian SAM: The guardian’s got this MARISHA: I look at Vax before we go to sleep, and I say, not going to pull any more jenga moments, are you? LIAM: No. No, I’m not MARISHA: You sure? Because you just did that secret walkaround there. We notice when you sneak off. You do know that, right? LIAM: No. My rolls are too high; you really don’t notice (laughter) TRAVIS: This is true LIAM: But I’m not going anywhere MARISHA: Okay. Hey. I was the only one who didn’t give you shit for that. Just keep that in mind TRAVIS: I did. You can fuck off and get yourself killed LAURA: You’re asleep TRAVIS: (snores) (laughter) LIAM: I’m going to go sit down by Percy, and what I’d like to do is watch everybody nod off, and in 20 minutes, nudge him awake TALIESIN: (groans) LIAM: Hi TALIESIN: Yes? LIAM: I want you to get some sleep, but I want to talk for a minute TALIESIN: I don’t know if I can do both of those things, but okay LIAM: That’s all right. We can separate them. This thing TALIESIN: Yes? LIAM: What do you really know about it? How do we know that this thing isn’t whispering in Sylas’s ear? What do you really know about this thing? TALIESIN: I don’t know anything about this thing, except that this last time… this last time was different than the first time. This last time didn’t… (sighs) This last time, I felt more like me, and less like I was being drawn somewhere. I wasn’t entirely me, but it’s hard to describe. I felt like I had contained it, a bit. I feel like, maybe, maybe I can keep it under check I don’t know LIAM: I want to tell you something. We’re almost like family now, and I’ve seen you do many great things, and you have earned my trust, but if you hurt my sister… If you hurt anyone else in this group inadvertently– TALIESIN: I would expect no less LIAM: All right, then TALIESIN: Vax? I have a sister!
LIAM: It’s pretty cool, isn’t it? TALIESIN: I’m hoping LIAM: Well, hold onto that TALIESIN: I shall TRAVIS: I let out a little sleep fart LIAM: Can I borrow just a pinch of your black powder? TALIESIN: No, I’m running really low. No LIAM: Just a finger dab? TALIESIN: No. Oh, god. Yes LIAM: I lick my pinky and I put it in, and I slowly draw a big ballsack on Grog’s forehead MATT: Roll a sleight-of-hand check LIAM: Sure TALIESIN: I’m going to sleep before this happens LIAM: That’s a 23 MATT: Grog, roll a perception check, just for the hell of it TRAVIS: 18? MATT: Deftly blended in with the tattoos, unless those who are aware, there are strange new series of markings across Grog’s face that he may not notice for quite some time LIAM: I did do little hairs on them, as well MATT: Oh, how detailed LIAM: Well, it grows here, so it grows there MATT: You don’t know. (laughs) LIAM: I don’t know. Or do I? MATT: Oh! All right. You guys go to sleep? LIAM: He goes to sleep. I’m going to do my duty with Keyleth for a watch LAURA: No, Keyleth went to sleep LIAM: I thought we were both staying up MATT: You look back over at Keyleth, and she’s asleep LIAM: All right. I’ll watch everybody MATT: Are you going to sleep at all? LIAM: I’ll stay up for two hours MATT: You stay up for the two hours. There doesn’t seem to be much incident whatsoever. There’s that gentle draft coming through from some of the cracks in the stones that were set up to block the entryway. It was not a perfect hole, of course, just enough to not arouse suspicion. There is cold air seeping through. You can hear the rain muffled in the distance, and there’s a little bit of a leak coming through from where the stones were set up to block the entrance. Eventually, sleep comes to you. It is a strange lulling sound. Everyone sleeps, relatively comfortably for being in the middle of a stone tunnel You have dreams again. Dreams, images, flashes Flashes of your family hanging from the Sun Tree It never happened, but your mind creates the image for you. You see flashes of your sister screaming out to you as the arrows take her in the chest You see a flash of what looks like a skull, a skull face. The skull brings itself to where you focus on one of its ocular sockets, and blood begins to pour from the socket. Flash to black. A familiar voice rings out again: “Do not forget our deal.” Cold morning air comes to you as you all slowly come to consciousness. Uncomfortable, kinks in your back. It’s not the best place to sleep, but the bare minimum of the long rest is achieved throughout the evening. As you all eventually come to and check and make sure everyone’s okay, you awake, a little unnerved SAM: I look around for Pike LAURA: Is she still here? MATT: Pike is just waking up. She’s still there Her image, you can see, in her sleeping state, is diminished. When she comes to consciousness, it almost flares up again. Her presence here is purely a force of will, and that connection is a very tenuous one I would like everyone to make a constitution check LAURA: Constitution? MARISHA: Corruption, man LAURA: Yeah, you’re right. I’m going to go sparkle stone LIAM: Natural 20 MARISHA: Son of a fuck. Natural one. My third of the evening SAM: Five MATT: Five TRAVIS: 17 LAURA: 16 LIAM: 20 TALIESIN: 22 MATT: All righty LAURA: You rolled a one, Keyleth? MARISHA: I had bad dreams MATT: The DC on this is not as high. Everyone but Keyleth passed. Keyleth, as you wake up, there’s a general cold sensation within your body, and you feel like there’s really no way to keep warm, no matter how hard you try and bundle up. You even use a bit of Druidcraft to create a bit of sparkling warm fire that you use to keep your hands set, and the cold doesn’t seem to go away MARISHA: I keep my hands aflame and kind of rub myself MATT: Okay. Your hands are shaking unnaturally, and there’s a general chatter to your teeth. You have disadvantage on any dexterity ability checks MARISHA: Glad I don’t use a bow MATT: Skill checks. Wouldn’t affect attacks. I will say it doesn’t really affect initiative, per
se, but if you were to try to do any delicate handwork, you would have disadvantage LAURA: Should we, before we get this shit going, have a feast? A big fucking feast? SAM: We should have a feast MARISHA: That sounds good, yeah LAURA: We still have a couple of feasts left MARISHA: I will say, if we choose to feast, I will not be able to Sunbeam SAM: Well, that is a problem LAURA: Should we have feasted last night? MARISHA: I couldn’t. I burned my Sunbeam. We couldn’t have done it SAM: Pike can’t help in any way? MARISHA: I don’t know if Pike– ASHLEY: I don’t have that ability MARISHA: Does she have access to sixth-level spells? We haven’t leveled Pike up in a while ASHLEY: I don’t know if I’ve– MATT: You’ve gained a modicum of experience while you were away from the party, just at a slower rate, so you are at a lower level than the rest of the party. Not by a terrible amount, but you’d be level 11 by now, probably MARISHA: So she would have a sixth-level spell LAURA: So she has Feast MARISHA: It depends on if clerics have it MATT: Clerics do have access to Heroes’ Feast ASHLEY: Let me check MARISHA: But that would also mean Pike burning her 6th-level spell slot MATT: Correct. So you would have one 6th-level spell. If you wanted to, you could prepare that as your prepared 6th-level spell for the day. That is your choice, Pike LAURA: We get saves on all wisdom throws, which might come in handy when we’re fighting against things that control our minds ASHLEY: Oh dang. I haven’t even looked through these yet LIAM: While the fancy people are talking, I walk over to Grog and say, big man. You’ve got mud or something on your face. Come here. And I take my hand and I wipe across his forehead and smear out what I did TRAVIS: Don’t fucking touch me! LIAM: Sorry (laughter) TRAVIS: You’re all cuddly in the morning and shit God, get it together LIAM: Sorry TRAVIS: I lean over to Vex and I go, how do I look? LAURA: You look lovely, dear TRAVIS: Damn right SAM: I have questions for us, while Pike is looking up her spells. First question is: how on earth are we supposed to send a signal to the rest of the town when we’re in a tunnel? LAURA: We can open it up SAM: From where? LAURA: From here TALIESIN: Once we’re inside the castle, we’ll be able to– MARISHA: I can Skywrite again LAURA: You could Skywrite right now, as soon as we decide to start moving MARISHA: I just need to move the boulders a bit LAURA: Yeah. Open the rocks up. People start attacking the castle; we come from the other side, from within SAM: Is that our plan? We’re going to say, “Rebels, go,” wait a while, and then attack? TALIESIN: Not even wait a while. We’ll go in LAURA: Go in at the same time LIAM: We throw the signal to the sky and go up this tunnel SAM: Shouldn’t we wait a little? LAURA: Wait like five minutes to let them rabble up and start running SAM: Remember, last time I was supposed to create a diversion LAURA: Yeah, but then you took down a whole house TALIESIN: Well, we had a Grog SAM: Believe me, I was amazing, but maybe we should incite the rebellion, wait a half hour, and then go TALIESIN: Let’s see if we can keep civilian casualties to a reasonably small amount MARISHA: We’re the most capable people in this town right now SAM: Well, that’s another question. We are. Does one of us need to go out there and lead the rebels? LAURA AND TALIESIN: No TALIESIN: We’re fine SAM: What do you mean, no? MARISHA: They’ve got Yennan. He’s awesome. He was a badass cleric SAM: If he survived the night TRAVIS: What if they don’t take the rebels seriously because we’re not with them? Maybe one of us should go SAM: Maybe Pike should TALIESIN: I think it’s going to take all of us to defeat the Briarwoods LAURA: I think we all need to go together TALIESIN: Once the Briarwoods are gone, I think a lot of this will get a lot easier TRAVIS: We could meet in the middle SAM: I’m just saying, if Pike is fading on us, it might be best to send her out to lead the rebels LAURA: No, she’s not fading on us, you dick! She’s coming with us LIAM: Scanlan, we’re going to make a leap of faith that Pike can stay SAM: And if, in the horribly unfortunate scenario where she can’t. Pike, can you leave us anything? LAURA: A Heroes’ Fucking Feast SAM: A potion. A spell. A prayer. A symbol. A “siggle.” Anything? MATT: A sigil SAM: Oh. Oh, a sigil. I said it wrong LIAM: Oh, prepare to be GIF’d, Mercer MATT: (laughs) Yeah ASHLEY: Wow. There’s some amazing– just a side note, there’s one called Heal that can heal a person 70 hit points MATT: True ASHLEY: Just like that LAURA: That’s pretty awesome MATT: So, Heroes’ Feast, Heal. You’ve got to pick one
LAURA: Heroes’ Feast! SAM: Heroes’ Feast raises all of our hit points higher LIAM: Way to humble-brag, Pike LAURA: It makes us more badass ASHLEY: Yeah, let’s do the Heroes’ Feast, then MARISHA: We’re going to eat up? Fuck yeah MATT: All right, so mark off your other thousand gold chalice that you had purchased beforehand. I think you’re out now, aren’t you? MARISHA: Yes, I believe we need to go shopping LAURA: You needed one more. You had one more, I thought MATT: She has one more. It’s being used right now She’d purchased two before you left MARISHA: Pike, you wouldn’t happen to have a thousand gold-worth chalice on you, would you? LIAM: Only astrally MARISHA: Never mind MATT: I would think probably not MARISHA: Don’t worry about it MATT: You hand over the chalice to Pike. Pike, you take the chalice and you set it down before you You mark a symbol in the dirt in the center of this tunnel in the shape of a giant rectangular table. You take your holy symbol, remove it from your neck, and thrust it into the ground at the head of the table. With that, dust kicks up as seemingly out of nowhere, this giant table and feast just (fwoosh) rises LAURA: Oh my god, is it a holy feast? Do we all do holy damage now? MATT: No, but holy shit, it’s delicious TRAVIS: (laughing) “Holy shit, it’s delicious.” (laughter) MATT: It is very good LIAM: Best line of the night! MATT: Benches around and available. You all sit around it and dig into the most delightful mid-tunnel, cold sub-castle breakfast you’ve ever had LIAM: Ice cream LAURA: Give me that pencil MATT: So you guys all, for the next 24 hours, have advantage on wisdom saving throws, and I believe it’s 2d6? Is that what it was, Marisha? MARISHA: 2d10 or 2d8 MATT: I’ll look it up right here TALIESIN: Wisdom advantage LAURA: I think it’s 2d12 MARISHA: 2d12? MATT: Heroes’ Feast. Nope, 2d10. Everyone, roll 2d10 and add that temporary hit points to your HP value. That includes you, too, Pike. So roll 2d10 and that’s temporary hit points on top of your regular hit points. Meaning once those go away, they cannot be healed back LIAM: Still not cracking a hundred TALIESIN: Nice! SAM: And advantage on wisdom saves MARISHA: And we’re immune to fear MATT: Yep SAM: Seriously? MARISHA: And poison, I think MATT: Yep. You’re immune to poison MARISHA: Immune to fear, immune to poison, and immune to what else? MATT: And you get advantage on all wisdom saving throws. Heroes’ Feast, motherfucker! LIAM: Immune to fear, and what was it? MATT: Immune to fear and poison. Oh, such a good spell. Very expensive, but damn if it hasn’t been clutch MARISHA: I’m going to move out some rocks. Just enough where I can peek out. Are we ready to go? SAM: Go? Go where? What? LAURA: To do this! MARISHA: I’m just going to start this. We can talk as we go SAM: You’ve got to go outside first MARISHA: I’m going outside SAM: Okay MARISHA: I’m going outside. Is it still rainy? MATT: It is not raining, currently. The sky is still cloudy and dark MARISHA: Still cloudy? MATT: Yeah MARISHA: Okay, so I take the clouds and I darken them and do a giant de Rolo crest that expands over the whole city MATT: Okay, so with Grog’s help, you move some of the rocks out of the way. You get a visual of the sky. You lean out, focus, cast your Skywrite spell– mark that spell off– and as you coalesce the clouds to be extremely dark and to form the de Rolo crest symbol in the sky. As that happens, you begin to see, about two minutes later, little beacon lights begin to ignite across the city: lanterns and torches being lit. It looks like, as it is probably an hour past dawn, that the surviving remainder of the Whitestone rebellion is raring itself to attack LAURA: We should have sung “One Day More.” SAM: Well, we still can. (laughs) Before we do this, I love you all, and I wish us all the best of luck today. I especially love Pike, and I’m so happy she’s with us for this. If some of us don’t return, I think that the glory of what we’re doing today, and the justice of what we’re doing today, has been worth it, and Percy, I hope you get some sort of redemption in all of this TALIESIN: (sighs) MARISHA: To the de Rolos SAM: To the de Rolos MARISHA: To Whitestone TALIESIN: To Whitestone LAURA: To Vox Machina MARISHA: To Vox Machina MATT: You may raise your glass and drink if you’d like, Ashley ASHLEY: Oh, thanks! MATT: There we go. (laughs) MARISHA: Do that Ben and Jerry’s pint (laughter) MATT: As you guys finish your drink, the Heroes’ Feast slowly sinks back into the dirt, leaving the empty tunnel before you. The slight cold sound of drifting wind through the now freshly barricaded
rock exit of the secret passageway begins to reach your ears. What do you wish to do? TRAVIS: Do we want to check the wall? LIAM: I’m taking point. I want to check out that wall that I sat right in front of SAM: Let’s all go down the tunnel LIAM: Yep. Come on, everyone MARISHA: I light up my hands for light MATT: Okay LAURA: Very quietly down the tunnel MATT: Using the veritable torchlight from Keyleth’s burning hands, you guys press down the hallway, Vax taking point. Eventually, you get to the end of the hallway. There’s a portion of the stone wall that has been chiseled out. It’s not very smooth; it’s rough in the way it was constructed, but there is definitely about a foot-thick wall that would go to the right and left of you in the dirt that has been chiseled and broken through to reveal this passageway that you guys are traversing Immediately on the other side of this opening, now that you have a better look at it, it looks to be some sort of stone sculpture or statue of some kind ASHLEY: (sneezes) LAURA AND MATT: Bless you MATT: You see what looks to be the back side of some armored soldier, but it’s all carved from some sort of marble. At a closer look, too, Percy, you see it’s carved from the white stone that is actually mined in this– TALIESIN: Do I recognize this part of the passage? MATT: You do. This statue is one of the large things used to hide this exit, and it is normally shoved out of the way. There are a few other boxes immediately adjacent to it, and from what little bit you can glance past it, it looks like this section is used for storage of some kind and is filled with whatever random crates and whatever needed to be placed down here to keep it out of the way TRAVIS: Can someone check to make sure that it’s just a statue? MARISHA: Can I do an arcana check to see? MATT: Sure MARISHA: If it’s magical? Magic trap? LIAM: I’m going to perception it. 20 on perception MARISHA: Natural 20. Making up for those fucking ones MATT: There you go. As you step up and inspect the back of the statue, the stonework is very well done, and there is a very, very faint magical essence to this statue. It’s so miniscule, and the only reason you’re able to pick it up is you’re so fine-tuned to seeking out that presence. It doesn’t have a specific form; it doesn’t have a specific school of magic applied to it. It just has a general, faint magical aura MARISHA: Is it carved out of the rock? MATT: It’s carved out of the white stone MARISHA: Got you. But it’s not magically trapped? MATT: Correct. It doesn’t appear to have any sort of strong magical presence for a specific purpose MARISHA: And if we touch it, we’re not going to be possessed or something MATT: You don’t think so MARISHA: I don’t think so LIAM: I silently signal to everyone, and I slowly stealth around the statue to check out the room MATT: Okay. It’s all pressed against the wall. The widest gap is about that wide. You’re going to have to push or shove things out of the way. All the crates are pushed up against it, blocking the whole exit LAURA: Is it too big for you? Do you need maybe somebody stronger? LIAM: I reach out past my sister and pat him on the shoulder TRAVIS: Yes? LAURA: (whispering) I think you’re up TRAVIS: Where? Up where? LAURA: I think you need to move the fucking statue TRAVIS: Oh! LAURA: Quietly TRAVIS: (whispering) Oh. And I gently start to push the statue out of the way MATT: Make a strength check LAURA: Oh no! Really? TRAVIS: That’s a one MATT: Natural one? MARISHA: I’m sorry MATT: Grog cracks his fingers and grins, stepping up. Goes to push the statue, and then pop! Something in your lower back gives, and (groans) LIAM: Peacock a little more for us, please MATT: The air escapes your lungs, and it’s been a long time since this injury has crept up, but you threw your back out a little TRAVIS: I slide down and go, you know, I’m so tired of (groans) taking all the glory. Why don’t you guys– LAURA: Trinket? Trinket tries to– MATT: Trinket, who, at this point in time, by the way guys, takes up a large portion of the tunnel– LAURA: Yeah, he wants to get the fuck out of here MATT: Pushes past you guys and turns around and puts his rump against it and starts backing up into it. (moans) Go ahead and roll a d20 TALIESIN: Please defeat this door MARISHA: Fucking doors! LIAM: (whispering) Can you please fix Grog’s back? TALIESIN: Doors of Whitestone LAURA: Doors of fucking Whitestone! Oh god MATT: Add two to the roll LAURA: Only two?! MATT: Yeah LAURA: I don’t add his full strength? It doesn’t fucking matter, because I rolled a three MARISHA: Doors MATT: (laughing) Perpetually defeated by passageways and entrances TALIESIN: Curse you, doors! SAM: I’ve got this, guys LIAM: Wait, before we use– listen. This could potentially be humiliating for all of us. Before we expend any of our arcane abilities, please let us all at least try and fail before you take out the Hand
TALIESIN: Let’s all push LAURA: As much as we can SAM: Wait, why are we pushing this thing? LIAM: Let’s do the one and a half elf push, shall we? You, you, and me LAURA: And Percy TALIESIN: I’ll join SAM: I will push, as well LIAM: All the average-shaped people LAURA: I’m rolling my giant foam dice for this MATT: All right. Everyone but Grog can help in this. Grog, you’re out for this one SAM: I’m helping MARISHA: He’s helping SAM: I am not helping MARISHA: Ooh, I rolled a 19! LIAM: One, eight SAM: 11 MARISHA: Wait, is this just a strength check? MATT: Yeah, adding your strength MARISHA: Straight strength? LAURA: One MARISHA: 21 TALIESIN: 12 MARISHA: (grunts) MATT: As you give it a good solid try, the force of you guys combined; there is just a lot of weight pressed up against this statue with the crates on the other side. This storage room is very full, and you find Vox Machina, for all of its journeys, battles, victories, and celebratory events, bested by a room of clutter. Pike, did you want to give it a shot? ASHLEY: Yeah MARISHA: I turn around and I’m still pushing SAM: Wait, Pike’s going to do this? MATT: Okay, Pike. Roll a d20 and add your strength modifier LIAM: Come on, Pike SAM: Doors, man MARISHA: Charge at it LAURA: This is like the lid of a jar; everybody’s loosened it up, and Pike’s going to– SAM: What? ASHLEY: 19 MATT: Plus your strength modifier? ASHLEY: I rolled an 18 and my strength modifier is one MATT: All right. As you guys all take a moment to have this discussion, Pike steps forward, her hair drifting behind her, buoyant in the air LIAM: Somebody draw it. Please draw it MATT: She steps up and centers herself. Sets her shield to the side, puts her mace down, closes her eyes, puts her hands on the statue and just (grunts) begins to shove and push. As she does, you guys hear (stone scraping noise) LAURA: Seriously? TALIESIN: I could have done that MATT: The crates begin to push and move out of the way, and she pushes the statue a good six feet ahead, pushing some of it out of the way, leaving a little bit of opening and a visual walkway into this basement area LAURA: Look at that MARISHA: It must be nice to have the strength of Sarenrae LAURA: Pike, you saved the day. Again SAM: Mrs. Shorthalt, you are amazing ASHLEY: Whoa, Scanlan TALIESIN: Well, fine MATT: Trinket gives a (grumpy grunt) SAM: Pike, will you carry me over the threshold? (laughter) LIAM: Wait! I fistbump Pike, pop my hood up, and then quietly go into the room LAURA: Not yet! LIAM: Yeah! I’m the best person to do this TRAVIS: Can I have Trinket step on my lower back, please? LAURA: Trinket’s really good at that MATT: Trinket is really good at massages. Trinket begins going, (grunts) stepping on you (cracking) and you hear– TRAVIS: (groans) Thank god MATT: I’m going to have you roll a stealth check– LIAM: 29 for stealth MATT: With disadvantage LIAM: Disadvantage? MATT: Because of Grog’s moaning at the massage LIAM: That’s fine. That balances out, and my first roll was a 29 total MATT: (laughs) Okay. All right. You disappear in It’s very dark in here; there’s one sconce that appears to be giving a bit of flickering light across the way. As you step out of this chamber into what looks to be two paths that go to the right and the left and then curve and disappear Right across from you appears to be a central room or space. You can make a little bit of visual around you, but best you can see is there are a series of bars. Like cells, arranged across some of the walls here. You appear to have stumbled upon the subterranean Whitestone dungeon or prison LIAM: Can you help me understand the makeup of it again? You said two passages– one to the left, one to the right– and a chamber directly ahead, between them? MATT: Correct LIAM: I know we’ve got two paths, but he said there’s a room, as well MATT: Here, this will be a good perspective for you SAM: Oh, you just happen to have the room drawn? MATT: That’s where you guys came through LIAM: Yeah? MATT: And see this path here? LAURA: Yeah MATT: And here. And there are cells on this side MARISHA: Is there anything good in the storage room that we’re in? MATT: Oh, you’re in the storage room? MARISHA: Yeah MATT: Make an investigation check LAURA: Yeah, I start opening up crates MATT: Okay MARISHA: That’s not great. Eight MATT: There’s a lot of broken building materials LAURA: 18 MATT: 18? Okay. Looking around, you see there’s work materials. There’s pickaxes, there’s crowbars, there’s things that are used in various tool-based means throughout the uses of a castle Most of them are for grounds repair and things like that; nothing particularly interests you There are a few crates that have residual whitestone in them, but it appears that most of it has been used or taken elsewhere LAURA: Like whitestone dust? MATT: Like dust and small rocks here and there
LAURA: Can I gather some up in a bag? MATT: Sure MARISHA: Yeah, I pick up a few pieces too MATT: Okay. You, seeing both of those paths– LIAM: So both paths, and there’s a room closer to me, right? MATT: Yeah, around the way to your left, you see that’s the source of a little bit of sconce torchlight LIAM: All right. Into my little earring, I say, (whispers) I’m not doing anything fucking crazy, I’m just going to go ahead. This is the only thing I can do. And I move quietly into the close chamber MATT: Okay, as you’re moving forward, you hear behind you the sound of crates shifting, lids moving, because searching through a room of large clutter and crates makes noise. You take a few steps and that happens and you’re like, and you hear echoing from around a corner a voice go, “Hello? Is someone there?” This really crackly dry voice LIAM: I stop moving entirely and I just wait MATT: “Hello?” (laughter) MATT: Silence LIAM: And can I hear anything besides that? There’s nothing else I hear besides that in this room? MATT: From what you can tell, no LIAM: There’s no dim light or anything? MATT: The only dim light is coming from around that corner, from the source of where that sound seemed to come LIAM: Okay. I should be able to see, then, if there’s dim light. Up to 60 feet MATT: Right. Nothing immediately in your visual perspective. If you go all the way to the edge, you can look past the corner if you want LIAM: Okay. I slowly back up away from that and creep up the hall and stop at the corner before it turns and I just lean my head out and I listen MATT: Okay. Perception check LIAM: 27 MATT: Okay. Listening for a second, you hear what sounds like some shifting, like a body shifting over some sort of low crumbling. Sounds almost like grasses or hay or some sort of soft bedding is being shifted a little bit. You hear a clink of metal of some kind, you’re not sure quite what the source is, and a couple of other small shifting and grinding sounds of metal. Comes to a halt LIAM: Got it. So I tiptoe all the way back to everybody and say, listen. Stop doing that Stop. There’s two passageways up the way. I think we’re in some sort of dungeon– TALIESIN: I could probably confirm this MATT: Very much so. This is where you woke up, where Cassandra pulled you– TALIESIN: This is absolutely the dungeon LIAM: I had surmised as much. There’s possibly an old person in one, and then sounds of something, so both of the chambers are occupied. I came back to confer with you instead of going off on my own because that gets me in trouble LAURA: Hey, thank you so much LIAM: One time only SAM: Let’s go talk to the old prisoner LIAM: What do you want to do? MARISHA: Are we sure they’re prisoners? LIAM: Do you want to talk to the possibly old person with the crazy eyes thing? TRAVIS: Shouldn’t we ask Percy what he wants to do? MATT: You right now are staring off into space, because you recall the last time you were here you woke up in a cell next to a cell that contained a pile of bodies of previously related members of your family before Cassandra ushered you out TALIESIN: I would like to start making my way in that direction MATT: Okay. So as you guys are having this conversation, Percy just starts walking– LIAM: Percy, you probably want to take out one of those contraptions of yours LAURA: Wait, before he goes I cast Pass Without a Trace on everyone MATT: Okay. Everyone who wishes to be stealthy can be stealthy LIAM: I’m rolling along with Percival TALIESIN: I’m being stealthy MATT: Okay. Everyone roll stealth ASHLEY: Me too, I’m super stealthy MATT: We’ll keep with your consistent roll, currently SAM: 15 MATT: Okay. With plus ten? SAM: That’s with plus ten LIAM: It’s 30 this time MATT: All right MARISHA: 21 LAURA: Add ten! Because I cast Pass Without a Trace TALIESIN: 21 LIAM: Oh, 40 this time. Only with her MATT: Only it would be like (whoosh) what’d you get, Grog? TRAVIS: 26 MATT: Okay. You guys all move as a group forward Pike, what’d you get? Yeah, roll your stealth, girl. Plus ten to it ASHLEY: (laughs) I have three LAURA: But plus ten! LIAM: Can I give her seven of mine? MATT: No. You guys push down the left hallway or the right one? TALIESIN: I’m heading towards whichever cell had been mine MATT: The cell that would’ve been yours would be kind of on the opposite side of the room from you, on the other side. The fastest way would be taking the left path towards the light source
TALIESIN: The left path MATT: Okay. So you guys head that direction, kind of following Percy– SAM: That’s not the direction of the voice LAURA: Yes, it is SAM: Oh, it is? MATT: Yeah. You move towards the light. You guys turn around the corner and look. Not in the cell you were in, but across the way, because there are six cells, three on each side of the hallway facing each other, and on the far cell on the outside-wall side of it, you see there’s a torch sconce that is lit and just slowly crackling. It’s almost reached ember period, like it’s about to be changed out, probably. And inside you see, sitting just squat on the ground, in a cell by herself, this woman facing away, back up against the bars and that’s all you can see LIAM: Drawing a blade just in case LAURA: As I approach I put my finger over my mouth and look at her. Can she see us? LIAM: Looking away MATT: She’s facing away from you guys, her back is up against the bars. She’s kinda– SAM: Psst. Oi. Hello TALIESIN: Shh MATT: Turns her head and looks over, and it’s the first time you see her face. Much older woman, probably in her early seventies or so, but seventies living in a not very– seventy years in a hard life, so very deep, sunken wrinkles. The skin is very weathered. Her hair is mostly whitish-gray with a little bit of you can see remaining reds and browns in it, at some point she might’ve had much brighter-colored hair. Her clothing is pretty ragged, and she leans over and looks to you guys, squinting her eyes in the darkness SAM: If you want to get out of here, don’t speak loudly MATT: “All right. Who is this?” LAURA: Who are you? SAM: We’re here to help MATT: She’s still kind of looking out into the darkness. She can’t see you guys really. She just hears your voices LAURA: Who are you? MATT: “Who are you?” She’s being very guarded right now and very spooked LIAM: In the darkness, I hand, stupidly, my Flametongue dagger to Scanlan again and push him forward with it SAM: I hold it up to my face. I grin a big grin to her and I say, hello. We’re friends. We’re here to bust you out of this place. Will you tell us who you are? MATT: “I’m Gloria. Gloria Cyn.” SAM: Gloria Cyn? MATT: “How’d you find your way in here?” SAM: We are ninjas MATT: She looks very confused at you. “Are you friend or foe? Do you work with the Briarwoods?” SAM: No, we are against the Briarwoods and all they stand for. We’re here to save you, the prisoners, the village. Everyone we can MATT: Do all of you step forward at this point, or is it just you? LIAM: Just him. Mr. High Charisma SAM: I am not alone. I have friends with me. Some of whom look quite scary, so don’t be alarmed if a bear stands right behind me MATT: “A bear?” SAM: It’s a good bear. It’s the best kind of bear LAURA: He’s the cutest MATT: “Who is that?” SAM: That’s my friend Vex. Vex, come forward LAURA: I walk up a little bit behind Scanlan and I insight check her to see what the fuck is going on MATT: Okay, roll insight LAURA: I don’t know, they’ve all been betraying me! Don’t you. Oh, that’s good! 24 MATT: 24, okay. I mean, she’s in a cell in a dungeon and looks to be fairly spooked but also guarded. Not much to read beyond the fact that she’s an old woman in a dungeon TRAVIS: No? MATT: I mean, she’s definitely staying guarded in the circumstance, but you’re not picking up any sort of strange animosity SAM: Why have you been locked up? MATT: And all these voices are coming out of the darkness, she’s like, “I came up from Dryna to ask “why the waters are growing brackish. Fish float downstream, dead, and taste of ash these days “Delilah laughed and threw me in here, saying I’m a fair better offering than a fisherman. That’s the “last I know. I’ve been here for over a week.” LAURA: A week, that’s it? TALIESIN: I would say it’s almost safer for her down here for now LAURA: Yeah. So here’s the thing SAM: We’re great with old people TRAVIS: They don’t take prisoners LAURA: There’s a lot of violence that’s going to happen SAM: We should unlock that, maybe we should unlock this cage TALIESIN: No LAURA: No. We should keep her in here for now TRAVIS: Yeah, they don’t take prisoners, they don’t take prisoners. Why isn’t she fucking dead?
Or undead? SAM: She can run out the tunnel that we came in MARISHA: Yeah, why don’t we unlock her and just let her book for it? LIAM: Wait. If we destroy the Briarwoods, it will be no trouble to come down here and let anyone out who’s down here. If she’s who she says she is, we don’t know SAM: Madam. Good madam. When you were brought into the castle, can you tell us anything about where you were brought? Were you brought before the queen– she is a queen, right? LAURA: No, she’s a lady SAM: Lady. Were you brought before the Lady, and if so, in what room? Where was it? How big was it? How many guards were in there? MATT: “They brought me into the main grand throne chamber to speak with the lord and lady. They “ushered me through the halls and we waited about an hour for them to arrive. Apparently they were “busy elsewhere. There was a brief discussion. They laughed at me and threw me in here.” SAM: You have beautiful eyes. Did those eyes see anything in that grand throne room? Entrances or exits? Large windows? Anything? TALIESIN: I know all of them. I did live here SAM: Oh, fuck. Never mind, Matt. “Were there any guards? Many guards? Lots of guards?” MATT: “There were many guards. I’d heard of dark things happening in this castle, but when I was “escorted through, I saw things in the courtyard, shambling things, things that should not be alive “Tens, dozens. I did not feel right at that moment, and then, well, my fate was brought into this “terrible cell.” She kind of looks about LAURA: Has anybody been coming down and feeding you? MATT: “Every now and then.” LAURA: Not on a regular basis? MATT: “Every day or so they bring enough to subsist on.” SAM: As she’s talking, I’m going to see if there’s any sort of arcana or magical incantation on her, or any sort of possession. Is that something I can check for? MATT: Do you have the Detect Magic spell? SAM: No MARISHA: I do SAM: Can I just do an arcana check, or is that not– MATT: I mean, what are you– SAM: I don’t know MATT: Arcana’s more inspecting a close area to see if there is the nature of an arcane enchantment or something on it, you don’t actually like sense it SAM: All right. Then I do nothing. I sing a little song MATT: What are you doing, Keyleth? MARISHA: Nothing LAURA: Can’t detect magic? MARISHA: I can dispel magic LAURA: Try it TALIESIN: No, because that’s a spell MARISHA: It’s a spell. It’s a 3rd-level spell SAM: She’s fine. Let’s leave her MARISHA: I mean, I can do it TRAVIS: Why is she not dead? Why is she not undead? TALIESIN: They were going to feed her to something MARISHA: Yeah, they were going to eat her SAM: Let’s feed her to Trinket and go on LIAM: They’re not much, but I have rations and a waterskin. I toss them through the bars of her cell MATT: She grabs them as soon as they come through the cell and grasps them to herself TALIESIN: We’ll be back MATT: “You’re very kind.” MARISHA: Do you know if anyone else is in the dungeon down here with you? MATT: “I have not seen or heard anyone else Occasional wails, soft, mournful moans, but I stay “quiet. I stay very still.” LAURA: Hide in the corner. Stay quiet MATT: “Would you please let me out?” TRAVIS: No, you’re fucking staying in that cell, and if things go bad upstairs it won’t matter if you’re in there or not SAM: If you please TALIESIN: There are things upstairs that we can’t protect you from that we are going to deal with first LIAM: And there are creatures on the road and in the woods and quite frankly you’re safer right now. If we do what we have come here to do, we will come back for you TALIESIN: There is war outside right now LAURA: Don’t you worry MATT: “If there is war, then that’s the time to leave, when there is distraction.” SAM: Can you raise a blade? Can you fight? MATT: “I can run. I made it up here north, didn’t I? I’ve lived in these lands for quite some time, “I know how to survive.” LIAM: We can come back for her MATT: “Please. Please don’t leave me. I don’t know what’s going on.” LAURA: This is awful TRAVIS: Is it? Leave her MARISHA: Vax, you’re the only one who can pick the lock. We don’t have keys. I’m assuming she’s locked in there, right? MATT: You can check the cell door SAM: Let’s leave her. Ma’am, you must believe me when we say you are much safer here than above LIAM: Her fate is intertwined with our own. If she leaves, she has a very good chance of being killed. If we go forward and succeed, we come back and she lives. If we go forward and she dies, she’s where she is. This is the best place for her MATT: “At least take the fate into my own hands. I don’t mean any wrong here, but I have no reason to
“really trust you, either. How can I show my trust, how can I–” LAURA: You can be quiet MATT: “I can be quiet. Do not leave me here to waste and die. What if you don’t succeed? What if “you fall in whatever folly you’re making away into this castle for and I waste away down here myself? “Please.” LIAM: I’ve just given you food and water. We’ll be back within 24 hours. Come on. We’re going TRAVIS: Hold up MATT: “Please.” SAM: Ma’am. Here. I’m giving you a magical whip It will protect you against anyone who comes down here. Just hold it up and it will chase away any demons MATT: You’re the only one who’s out of the light now? SAM: Yeah LIAM: He was the first one out of the light MATT: Right, but everyone else is still in the shadow, all these voices coming at her LAURA: She can see me because I went down towards Scanlan MATT: Okay. She steps a little closer to you as you’re holding the whip out, and she grabs your hand with her left hand and kind of pulls it in and goes, “Please. Don’t leave me here. I can fend “for my own. Just don’t leave me here.” TRAVIS: I step forward now behind Scanlan. Super fucking intimidating. If things go well upstairs, we’ll be back. If when we leave, you make a peep, you won’t ever again MATT: Make an intimidation check TALIESIN: Damn, Grog LIAM: Roll intimidation TRAVIS: 14 MATT: She shrinks back. She still hasn’t looked away from you, and she kind of looks at you for a second and (heavy sigh) sits down, frustrated, at the bottom of the cell and just, “Then go. Leave “me. Useless.” TALIESIN: (whispering) Let’s check the other side LIAM: Eat that lembas bread SAM: I take the whip back (laughter) TRAVIS: Was it a magical whip or just a rope? LAURA: No, it was just his whip TALIESIN: Let’s check the other side MATT: Anything else you want to do? LIAM: No no no, there’s something, I don’t know what, I couldn’t make out what I was hearing, it sounded like hay or grass moving, so I don’t want to mess with that MARISHA: Someone’s sleeping TRAVIS: I think it was the straw on the bottom of her cell, right? LIAM: No, that was her passage. There’s another passage to presumably another set of cells. So I will skip along quietly 20 feet ahead of you all Try to see SAM: Old people love us LAURA: We’re the worst MATT: You skitter around the corner. Go ahead and make a perception check LIAM: 21 MATT: Okay. Looking about the cells, they all appear to be empty. You do catch a couple of rats skittering through some of the brush. Nothing that really is the source of that scraping metal sound LIAM: This is the second room? MATT: You go around the way and there’s another set of cells LIAM: Yeah MATT: Nobody else in the other cells LIAM: This is where I heard something before MATT: You heard it echoing around the other hallway, so it could be amorphously from the same source that she came from, or near the cell LIAM: And my perception. Vex, come up here and look around LAURA: I sneak up LIAM: I don’t see anything, but I feel like something’s here LAURA: Can we sense anything? SAM: By the way, how long has this all taken? MATT: Since you left the symbol up there? SAM: The tunnel, left the lady, the tunnel. Since we’ve incited the rebellion MATT: 20 minutes SAM: Jesus. We’ve got to start cooking, guys LIAM: Pike, do you, is there anything here, do you sense anything in this room? ASHLEY: (sighs) No, I feel weird about this old woman TRAVIS: Yeah. Me, too LIAM: All right, so there was dungeon and dungeon, set of cells and set of cells, but you said– MATT: Yeah, there is, past her cells, a– TALIESIN: Yay, map LAURA: We’re not getting to see it yet MATT: Now that you’ve been through this whole thing, you can see now– LAURA: Ta-da! TALIESIN: Let’s memorize where we’re all going to die MATT: She’s in this cell over here. You’ve come around here and you can see there are two cells this way, a cell this way, and then these sets of cells. There is a stairway that curves upward– MARISHA: Yeah, which one was the old lady in? MATT: This one right there LAURA: I think we should let her out ASHLEY: Did you guys give her something to eat? LAURA: Yeah, we gave her food and water LIAM: I gave her food and water ASHLEY: Did she eat it? LIAM: She scrabbled at it MATT: She brought it to her, but she didn’t eat it immediately, no TRAVIS: Because she’s not hungry, because she hasn’t been in there for a while ASHLEY: We didn’t see her eat it? LAURA: No MARISHA: Is there, do we see anyone else in any of the cells? MATT: No LIAM: At this point, I grab my sister and I say, Come on, we’re going to check the cells. And we look at every single one of them MATT: Okay, you go through every cell. There is nobody living in them. You do see a few of the cells have long-decomposed corpses. Piles of bones, mostly picked clean by the rats or whatever creatures live in here. But from your best knowledge of decomposition through your
experiences, nothing fresher than like the past year, maybe TRAVIS: I walk back up to the old woman. Not hungry or thirsty, I take it? ASHLEY: I’m going to go with Grog MATT: (laughs) Okay. She goes, “I was fed naught but this morning, I have to make this last.” TRAVIS: Keep you well-fed here, do they? MATT: “No. But if you eat it all at once, you have nothing to keep you over until the next time.” TRAVIS: Yeah, have a little nibble MATT: She gives you a strange look TRAVIS: Have a little nibble MATT: Takes some of the rations and breaks it off TRAVIS: It’s good MATT: “It’s not the finest of stone fish, but it’ll do.” SAM: Cooking with Grog! (laughter) TALIESIN: Old people love us LAURA: Yeah, we’re just the worst to old people MATT: “Why are you so spiteful, giant man?” TRAVIS: Because I don’t trust you, old woman ASHLEY: Can I quietly prick a little hole into my palm, just so I can start bleeding a little bit? Just very tiny? MATT: Could I ask what for? ASHLEY: What was that? MATT: Could I ask what for? TRAVIS: That’s a great idea MATT: Unfortunately, your form here is incorporeal, there is no blood flow from your current body ASHLEY: Fuck. I just want to see if she’s a vampire LIAM: In Vasselheim there is MATT: Back in Vasselheim there is, yes ASHLEY: All right, Grog, maybe? LIAM: Grog, do you get any ideas watching her do that? TRAVIS: Yeah, I fucking bite into the meat of my hand because I see what she’s trying to do MATT: Okay TRAVIS: Just (chomp) MATT: “What’s wrong with you?” TRAVIS: Drip a little. Oh no. Some nice type AB Right here. On tap MATT: She turns her head curiously and looks disgusted and disturbed by this display TRAVIS: No? MATT: Very confused TRAVIS: Clean blood. Feel yourself tempted? MATT: “I know not which madness has taken you.” LAURA: Let’s get the fuck out of here LIAM: We’re making asses of ourselves MATT: “Please. Please, I implore you, just open these gates. Let me fare for my own fate.” LIAM: Yes, the answer to that is no. We’ll be back, I’m going to go creep up the stairs MATT: “She. You. You, please.” LAURA: I can’t pick a lock. I mean, I can try LIAM: I’m moving towards those stairs MATT: Okay, Vax walks towards the stairs. The rest of you guys? SAM: Doors and old people LAURA: I’m going to act like I’m trying to pick the lock and help her. But I’m going to not try very hard. I’m putting on a show for her. Oh, this is a really difficult lock MATT: Okay, as you’re going for the lock, she rushes up and helps you with it and is holding, like, “Yes, yes, please, just like that. All right.” LAURA: And then what? MATT: “You turn it this way. You don’t have the proper tools for this–” LAURA: I snap the thing into the lock. Oh no. I knew I shouldn’t have done that MATT: “Foolish girl!” LAURA: I just don’t know what I’m doing, but I will be back with someone who does MATT: Make a perception check SAM: Perception? MARISHA: Perception? SAM: Oh shit, because she’s going to turn into something LAURA: Oh, that’s really good. 26 MATT: 26. When she went up and grabbed the lock with you, her hands grabbed the lock. You only felt one hand MARISHA: Oh my god, it’s Ripley! Oh my god, it’s Ripley! Sorry MATT: You’re not there MARISHA: I’m saying that as Marisha. Not as Keyleth. Saying that as a person MATT: The worst MARISHA: I’m sorry MATT: But anyway LIAM: Shush, you don’t know anything, shut up MATT: We are going to leave it there– (shouting) LAURA: Oh my gosh ASHLEY: Wait, who’s Ripley? (laughter) LAURA: Oh my gosh LIAM: They mostly come out at night. Mostly LAURA: Ashley, we’re going to have to tell you so much TALIESIN: Oh my god ASHLEY: I’ll try to catch up, too MATT: So now Whitestone Castle has been infiltrated, the real path to the seeming end is on. We will continue this next week Thursday ASHLEY: Wait, we’re stopping? MATT: Yeah, we’re stopping SAM: You’ve got to go to sleep LAURA: You’ve got to get picked up in like an hour MATT: When do you have to be on set, Ashley? ASHLEY: My pick up is at 5AM MARISHA: Oh my god, Ashley TALIESIN: So what time is it there right now? MARISHA: It’s one, no, 2AM there ASHLEY: It’s almost 2AM LAURA: Ashley! MATT: Ashley… See that’s, that’s a true friend player right there, guys
MARISHA: It’s just pick-ups, right? MATT: I know. Well thank you, Ashley, for joining us. Thank you so much. Really appreciate it ASHLEY: Ah, shit LAURA: Ashley, we love you TALIESIN: Love you so much ASHLEY: All right, I love you guys so much MARISHA: We love you, Ashley, please come back next week MATT: Yeah, let us know if you can make next week, please ASHLEY: Okay. Bye! MARISHA and LAURA: Bye! TALIESIN: Bye, darling! LIAM: Can that astral connection hold? MATT: Yeah MARISHA: Can that astral connection hold? ASHLEY: I know, hopefully, hopefully MATT: Have a good night. Good luck ASHLEY: Love you guys LAURA and MARISHA: (air kisses) MATT: And you guys, thank you so much for coming and watching our craziness every week. Once again, blown away by the generosity of all the Critters and folk from our Critmas last week. That episode will be up tomorrow, and for those who didn’t get a chance to see the ridiculous generosity and absurdity that is you guys in all of your amazement, check it out. And thank you for giving to charity, thank you for everything you guys do, and thank you for watching us be silly and rolling dice every week MARISHA: And comic comes out on Wednesday MATT: Yeah SAM: Oh wow, Wednesday? MARISHA: This coming up Wednesday TALIESIN: And your Spotify went up today MARISHA: And yeah, go check out all of our playlists MATT: Rock it out MARISHA: There’ll be a fun playlist next week LAURA: Oh, and I’m joining Monday Melee for Team Coco on Monday MATT: What? LAURA: Yeah TALIESIN: What? MATT: That’s awesome LAURA: So I forgot to say that at the beginning But yeah, it should be at like 11AM on Monday 11:30, something like that MATT: That’s awesome LAURA: Check it out MATT: Check it out, follow her on Twitter LAURA: Yeah, I’ll put something out there TALIESIN: On the Twitters MATT: Indeed. Well, guys, we’ll see you next week, and is it Thursday yet?